: : in tagalog : :

... Bakit nga naman may ibang Pilipino, ayaw na ayaw mag-Tagalog.
Para bang kinakahiya nilang gamitin ang sarili nilang wika. Samantalang, pumunta ka sa ibang bansa, at makikita mo na proud silang gamitin ang sarili nilang linggo. Dito sa Maynila, masmarami gugustuhin nilang magsalita sa Ingles kesa sa Tagalog.
Ako isa na ako dun, pero dahil minsan I feel that I can express myself more using English, (Cut me some slack, I wasn't able to apply the language for 6 years...) it's a shame and it's a sad thing for me but I try! Anyway...
May iba, kaya lang ayaw mag-Tagalog, kasi nagpapaka-sosyal. Gamit Taglish! Grrr... Ayaw na ayaw kong makakarinig ng ganito!Ang labo! Masnakakahiya kaya kung ganito ang gamit na salita. Kung hindi mo kayang magsalita ng tuwid at derecho na Ingles, mag-tagalog ka na lang kasi. Hmph!

... Isa sa mga binabasa ko ay ang libro ni Bob Ong: Stainless Longganisa. Kakatawa! Such a contrast to the other book that I'm reading: The Historian by Elizabeth Kostova! I've been reading this book for the longest time now... It's about vampires. I think I never really got over my I-wanna-be-a-vampire stage from the time of my devouring Anne Rice's novels... Anyway... Then I just heard a localized version of System of Down's Chopsuey in Tagalog!!! I can't remember who sang the song but it's pretty good! Hilarious - but really good! :-)

... I hope the weather changes soon. I really do NOT like this weather...

: : Da Vinci Code : :

i just heard that the movie was given a rated R...
unbeleivable...
while in other countries where it is also mostly Roman Catholics, the movie has been classified as appropriate for children...
sayang...
it's just a movie based on a fictional book. Why be scared with it's premise? Surely if one's faith is strong (strong enough?), then there's really nothing to worry about. One's faith should not even be tested with such things surely... And I'm not even religious!
Hmm...

I remember writing about the book & etc ...
Of Coincidence & Christianity
:-) I miss being passionate over something to write about...

: : just another tuesday night : :

just went to the gym so I'm still on a natural high *smile*
"endorphins make you happy!"
was chatting with my sis the other day about her adventures with the kids where she's having her OJT and she had me cracking up! kids say the darnest things I tell yah...
case 1: it's cook out time with the kids! teacher tells the kids (tots ages 2-3 yrs old) that they will be cooking! she holds up a can of corned beef and asks the class to guess what they will be cooking! the kiddies reply "corned beef"! but no wait, cutest lil boy wonder shouts CHICKEN! "I want chicken!", he gleams. Teacher tells cutey boy "No honey, we'll be cooking corned beef today". Cutey boy replies, "Ok, but I want chicken!" with the the cutest lil smile ever... The class proceeds to cook the corned beef, serve the food, sit, & enjoy their cooked meal. Cutey boy raises his hand and calls the teacher, "Waiter! I don't like this, could you take it out please. I want CHICKEN!". Teacher approaches cutey boy and tells him "Sorry dear, but remember Teacher is not a waiter." Cutey boy replies, "Ok! Teacher Waiter, could you get me a chicken?" HAHA :-) di nga naman cya waiter, pero pwede naman na maging teacher AT waiter ah...
Cutey boy proceeds to eat the corned beef. When the class ended and he saw his yaya, he tells her, "Yaya I want chicken!" Gusto nga naman kasi nga niya ng chicken eh! hehe
Kids are so adorable. I want one. haha :-)

: : here comes the Storm : :

I spoke too soon about Summer... The rainy season just started...
:-( *i don't like the rain*
And it all literally starts with a storm!!! *sigh*

Amazingly though, I woke up early today in spite of the cold, rainy, windy weather... Or maybe because there was a power outage & i was feeling hot. Most likely the latter... Anyway, it was good coz I was able to spend some quality time with lil sis - we had breakfast at Jollibee! Their chicken tocino rocks! hehe *babaw*
Then I finally went to the gym after almost a month of laziness! Haay... I tried to work out a sweat but it was too cold... Oh, and while the winds were howling outside, I was watching "The Perfect Storm" while running on the thread mill... How apt eh?
I'm now at work and it looks gloomy outside...
But I'm feeling all warm & fuzzy inside, thanks to Alan's treat of caramel macchiato & belgian waffle(with strawberries of course!). hihi

~o~o~o~

Current song of the Moment: No Ordinary Morning by Chicane
I luv it... It's actually a sad song...
It was truly not an ordinary morning then...
Enough!

My #2 song of the moment is It's You It's Me by Kaskade. Love the lyrics:
You never know who's waiting for you
You never know when love is coming your way
But if tonight I look again into your eyes
And it's you and it's me you love
And it's you and it's me you love
*sigh*
'Wish He would leave me alone...
Or do I?
*pfft!*
whatever...

I really don't like the rainy weather... It brings out the mushiness in me.
Won't you agree? :-)

: : puerto galera - april 2006 : :

Whatdya get when you plan an impromptu trip to Puerto Galera with two hot gals & 3 guys; all of whom happen to be alocoholics & party animals(at heart)???
Answer:-> An adventure trip ala amazing race & Wild on E! (G! - galera baby!) hehe

Want pics?


Make the most of the Summer!!!

: : potipot : :

Check out our adventure/discovery trip to Potipot Island! -->



NICE!!!!
Luv the place!
Wanna go back...

: : hmph mood : :

It's HMPH mood, not HUMP mood silly...
I need to see the beach...
I am going to rant & rage now...

I'm too grouchy lately. Admittedly I have my normal grouchiness, but this week, even I noticed that it's just way over my normal dosage... *sigh* Too many upsetting things around me... Shit happens yeah? And then they say it always comes in three?! Well I think I've had my fair share for this week... Good thing it's Friday na! When it rains in Mari Land, it pours and soaks ME to the bone. F*%#%!
I am in pain for a dear friend... I hate the fact that she's going thru such an ordeal & there's not a single damn thing that I can do for her... I can't even think of anything coherent enough to say to her! And I usually make sense!(well most of the time that is...) I'm just at a blah right now... I also hate the fact that there are guys that are really so hateful and get away with their kind of crap! Unbelievable! But it does happen. And they continue to thrive. They have a whole kingdom unto themselves! Hell I happen to have the misfortune to even know & dealt with some of them. There's definitely one who tops the chart right now. Such is life eh?
Then comes the issue of so called friendship. *BIG SIGH* You think you know, but you just never do. You take the risk, and Faith slaps you in the face with Reality. Nice. Over-reacting? Perhaps I am. Maybe I am. But what's done is done. Makes me wonder what else... *BIGGER SIGH* Shit.
And then of course there's the bigger never ending issues called Family. *BIG BIGGER SIGH*
Or we can blame it all on the hormones of yours truly. Whatever.

But in spite of all of the above, there are still other aspects in my life that I am thankful for... (See I'm not that much of a pessimist, just a realist...)
For the gifts & pasalubongs that I received everyday this whole week! *smile* It's the thought that really counts. It really made me feel special in spite of it all... For the good chit chats with my sis, phone calls & conversations with dear friends... Made me feel that I am connected after all... And that somebody has my back no matter what...
Simple things... It may seem trivial... But I make them my own. And make them part of Me.
Ok, enough na. *smile* *SIGH*
Just breathe...

* Things to look forward to this weekend:
- I'm having dinner with the happy guys & gals later on tonight! Anytime is a good time to catch up.
- I'm going home to Laguna this weekend! Fresh air!
- It's my Lolo's 80th birthday bash! :-) There goes my diet... Good thing they'll be serving mostly pork dishes... Gotta stay away from the dessert table...
- I'm gonna take my Aunt shoe shopping in Liliw this weekend! And will make sure to stop by that fabulously quaint lil resto at the corner... Yum!
- Road trip to Taytay Falls, or anywhere with nice, old Spanish churches...
:-)
Just a few more days & I'm going to the BEACH!!! North side naman - Zambales. I need my beach fix - badly!
My travel partner tells me we're going here:

Ganda noh?
I can't wait!!!
Poof!
This is why I blog... It's my some sort of therapy. :-) Coz sometimes, paper (or in this case my pc) is more patient than man... (from the Dairy of Anne Frank)

: : found d song!!! : :

I finally know d name of the song that's been stuck in my head since Kaskade. hehe

Tada!!! -->

Naked & Sacred

wala lang...
I feel calm whenever I hear this song...

: : (en français) confiance : :

Il fait confiance une fois que cassé est difficile réparer... Triste mais lui est vrai... Je suis dérangé à ce qui s'est produit. Incroyable ! ! ! Mais ce qui est fait est fait. J'espère juste que les dommages ne sont pas celui étendu... Et qu'aucune autre information inutile n'a été divulguée à d'autres...

Ever heard/read anyone rant in French?
You just did.

: : * yawn * : :

i can't sleep... i'm stuck in the midst of sleeping, & wakefullness...
I'm tired - my body's aching, & my eyes are almost closing but my mind refuse to rest... restless, haunted me...
*yawn*
I have to start working out in the gym again. I really am getting chubby chubs... gotta get my act together if I wanna stay fit... Stupid of me to stop now when I have access to two gyms... lazy me...
*yawn*
Have to eat less rice... Avoid it if I can... But then again I don't really eat rice...
*yawn*
He's not even all that come to think of it... Let's not be bitchy.
*YAWN*
I'm sleepy...
*YAWN**YAWN**YAWN*
bonne nuit

: :hmm hmm again : :

* Can't seem to get this song out of my mind since Aris played it... But I don't really know the title of it. I'm terrrible with titles, artist names, album, and don't even count on me to sing it... But i know it's a bit of house & techno with the lyrics

"I wanna hold you naked... when I'm with you... since i met you... I wanna be good to you... something something..."

Anyway, it's a nice song... Damn what's the title?!?!? Hmmm hmmm...

* Was just doing a Sex and the City re-run, and here are some quotes that I just love:

Maybe some women aren't meant to be tamed. Maybe they're supposed to run wild until they find someone -- just as wild -- to run with.

There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous

I will not be the first one to speak. And if he never calls me again, I'll always think of him fondly. As an asshole.

When it comes to relationships, maybe we're all in glass houses, and shouldn't throw stones. Because you can never really know. Some people are settling down, some are settling and some people refuse to settle for anything less. Than butterflies...

When you're young, your whole life is about the pursuit of fun, then you grow up and learn to be cautious; you could break a bone, or a heart. You look before you leap and sometimes you don't leap at all because there's not always someone there to catch you. And in life, there is no safety net. When did it stop being fun and start being scary?

Maybe the past is like an anchor holding us back. Maybe, you have to let go of who you are to become who you will be.

And lastly, here's a quote for my Dr. Alco-Sol: hehe

Carrie: A fuck buddy is a guy you probably dated once or twice and it didn't really go anywhere, but the sex is so great you sort of... keep him on call.
Samantha: Ooo, he's like dial-a-dick!
Samantha: Carrie, you can't date your fuck buddy.
Carrie: Say it a little louder, I don't think the old lady in the last row heard you.
Samantha: You're going to take the only person in your life that's there purely for sex, no strings attached, and turn him into a human being? Why?

I'm evil, yes I know. :-) You still love me though!

: : just blogging : :

* Got this from a friend, fill this up for me will yah? Indulge my self-absorbed curiousity. -> Johari Window

* I'm bored... And I'm at work , yes my dear, even on a legal national holiday... Got nothing to do at all so I'm just here getting triple pay while I do nothing but surf... *hush*

* Thank God she's NOT!!! I can now breathe easily...

* The first time she saw him, she didn't think anything of him. The second time, still no reaction - yes he was cute, but that was it, so were the other guys. Then comes the challenge. Only then did she look twice & gave it a thought. But then after a time, the feeling of being challenged eventually wore off, then there was none. None at all. Just plain apathy. Another Mr. Right Now. So much for happy ending.

* Went to Kaskade last Wednesday! I like the open air setting - with the moon & stars & the gentle see breeze as your ambience (it wasn't stinky as I expected). Love the fireworks! But I must say, it wasn't all that as I expected, though it was pretty good to hear It's you It's Me, the crowd of course went crazy when he played it. The after-party was way WAY better... *wink*wink*

* I need a vacation. Nobody believes me when I tell them that I don't have any beach plans for this summer yet. Coz they know how much of a beach addict I am! Maybe I'll do Boracay this May - yes, maybe I will!!! Hey, that's enough time to work on the extra pounds... Damnit I gained 5 pounds!!! I'm a fat hippo now...

* Got my official PADI diver's ID yesterday!!! *yey!!!* now, I gotta plan my next dive trip...

: : secrets : :

everybody has secrets...
skeleton(s) in the closet... Whatever you may want to call it.
everybody has one...
Some secrets are better off left unsaid.
Some are unspeakable that we'll carry them to our graves... And then some that you wish you didn't know.
But there are some secrets that cannot be hidden for long... No matter how hard you try to keep it as one, it will still eventually come out. Too bad.
Just like reality, just when you think everything's going smoothly, where everything's fine & dandy, harsh reality has it's own way of creeping up on you and bite you in the ass when you least expect it. BOOM!
That's it.

I'm upset, happy, & sad at the current situation of a very dear friend of mine.
I'm upset coz this is happening. I can say "I told you so", and "You should've known better" & all that guilty talk of what could've/should've been. But what good will that do? None at all...
I'm happy coz it's a beautiful thing...
But I'm sad that it turned out this way...
Should've-would've-could've.
Just like what Dr Bailey said in Grey's Anatomy:

The stupidity of the human race, be thankful for that.

Coz sometimes, the most beautiful & brilliant things are results of this so called stupidty... We might not like the results, but it happens... Accept & Live with it.
It gets better.

: : Play my song... : :

Went out last night with 2 girlfriends of mine, our PimpMaster followed shortly after... :-) First stop was Rockwell where I bought a fab pair of white pants from Topshop! *yey!* Finally found the perfect white pants that flatters my behind. Wasn't planning on buying - it's Aris' fault! Hehe. We bought the same type of pants! Chilled at Mati's for some drinks, gorged on their yummy dip & pita bread, & of course a bit of catching up... So much chika!!! Whatd dya expect when you put three ladies in one table & beers aplenty - of course it's gossip time! Haha. Then when we had enough of talking, headed over to Embassy for some dancing! Great music - of course! *wink*wink* We're having a dry run for our night with Kaskade this Wednesday! It was a cool night of hangin out - nice fun.

I feel up & about although I hardly had any sleep last night. Not cranky. No hang over. Just fine. It's amazing what a single *kilig* phone call can do. *HUGE GRIN* I'm smiling just thinking about it. :-D Next time I won't flake. Can I just say that he looked real cute last night... Hehe

~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~

Sis & I are going home to the province later. I need to see my Lola, I miss her, and & feel bad that I haven't been able to see her as much as I want to... I guess I've been avoiding the prospect of going "home". They don't have to say it, but eversince what happened, I can feel their eyes on us, and I know they mean well, but they shouldn't feel sorry for what happened. It's all for the best really. There are just some things that are really not meant to be. It sucks, but that's Life. And we get along just fine... No drama.

~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~

I'm excited for Wednesday-Kaskade! Hehe. Yah know for sure it's gonna be a crazy night!!! Just the way we like it! :-D

: : To be or no to be... in a rut that is : :

Ever been stuck in a rut before? It's so easy to fall into one... To let yourself wallow & sink deeper & deeper into it... And damn is it hard to come OUT of it...

Case 1 of the endless: I haven't gone to the gym for almost 3 weeks! Even longer than that I think... Yes, definitely longer than 3 weeks... Anyway, I've been too lazy lately -obviously! I'd rather go home and just sleep. Or watch Grey's Anatomy (I am too addicted with this show!). Or just EAT... Or sleep... You get the picture. So thus the Fat Cow = Me right now... Anyway, I was FINALLY able to D*R*A*G myself to the gym last Tuesday, and I mean literally forcefully drag myself to the place... Poof! Just the effort of going to the place is exhausting for me... *BIG SIGH* I'm that lazy right now... But hey, lazy fat cow me was able to successfully drag herself to the gym three times this week!! Hooray!!! *APPLAUSE* And now you can imagine the state of my muscles... *ugh!* No Pain, No Gain they say... But damn I'm just sore all over!!! My butt feels like it's in four places (that's more than the usual!!!), and my abdominal muscles (wishful thinking that I do have some... ) truly does hurt... Just have to push thru the pain... Don't I always?

Case 2: I have a dear friend who's in a "sticky situation" right now... Boy Problems. The ephemeral case of the "kami na ba?" syndrome. We've all been there... And maybe even wished that we haven't... Moving on, she knows what to do... But just can't make herself to do what it is that she know she has to do...

Case 3: I still fall in one my "dreaded" moods... Just the other day I was totally sucked in it. Hated it...


... Whatever the case maybe, I say its all a matter of choice really... Just how long will you allow yourself to BE in that rut is all up to you. Nobody else can pull you out of it except you and YOU alone... Your friends can give you that initial push, but the big heave has to come from you...

~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~

On a different note, I heard Sean Paul is coming to Manila next month!!!!! How true is that???? If he is coming, daaamn, yah know I'm gonna be there baby! Loved him since I was in Georgetown!!! Like 8 years ago!!! *whew* calm down Mari... Anybody interested? ;-)

: : *whoa!* : :

I am still reeling from my weekend... *grin*
Still feeling some "after-effects" of the weekend hang over... Still hung over actually. And it's a Monday after the month-end batch. Nice one... Just smile & wave...

Talk about going impromptu party mode! I thought it was going to be a nice, quiet, relaxing weekend by the beach, or somewhere where the birds are chirping & the sun is shining, commune with nature, or maybe even do wall climbing, & supposed to be go kart racing... But your sea princess did a different kind of the "communing" kind. *hehe* Nothing perverted now! Just decided to hung out with dear friends, have fun, FUN, FUN & dance, DANCE, DANCE, & DANCE... PARTY!!!

I must say it was quite an unbeleivable night. Few rounds at Capone's with a dear, dear, DEAR friend. Laugh trip... food trip... Happy thoughts... Then, decided to hop on over to PICC for DJ Tiesto & to meet Bri & co. My Goodness! The place was packed! But it was well worth it. I'm not much of a lover for house music but man, this guy IS really GOOD! He is defintely the best!!! He'll definitely take you to a higher place... Love it!!! *BIG GRIN*

In Search of Sunrise

The Party didn't stop here of course... We decided to hop on over next to Club Industry at around 06:30... No need for the details... But I danced, and danced, danced, and danced.... I didn't get home 'till noon...
What a night...
What a morning...
What a Life!!!!
Gotta love it!!!
*SMILE!

*wink*wink*

still singing to the tunes of I'll Fly With You (Gigi d'agostino)...
I still believe in your eyes
I just don't care what
You have done in your life
Baby I'll always be here by your side
Don't leave me waiting too long
Please come by
I, I, I, I still believe in your eyes;
There is no choice,
I belong to your life
Because I will live
To love you someday;
You'll be my baby
And we'll fly away
And I'll fly with you,
I'll fly with you,
I'll fly with you....

The Song in my head...


Thanks to Dottie, I am hooked & in love with this song... Wonder why... *wink*
Mmmwah!

: : blah mood : :

I find that I'm falling into one of my many, MANY moods lately...
Hmmm...

~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@

CHIKA of the moment: (Okay I'm chismosa... Like you're not!)
somebody from work got preggers... they're both from work... and the clincher is that the guy is married... and that he just had a baby from his wife! AND he's not even ALL that goddamnit... wtf?!?!
I feel sorry for the girl... (She resigned.) Sabi nga sa Grey's Anatomy, she's like a human road kill & everybody's slowing down just to see the wreckage/carnage...
It's sad...
I think what my friend, John told me is quite appropriate for this scenario,

Don't get your honey where you're getting your money...

I hear yah... Coz when the good turns bad, it can get sooo BAD, & what's worse is that everybody else will know.
*sigh*

~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@

I miss...
I need to go to the beach...
I think the heat is getting to me...
Melting my brain...
*blah*
I feel like I'm in the middle of nowhere, but I'm not exactly lost...
I feel like screaming & throwing a fit, but I'm not exactly angry nor upset...
But neither am I jovial...
*blah*blah*
there's a huge black swirling pool of nothingness
there's a girl walking, tiptoeing, balancing on the edges
not wanting her toes to be touched by the black nothingness
but still she persists to play, to test her balance
a gentle kiss of the wind can easily push her into the pool
and she know it
yet she persists
and still persists...

*BLAH*BLAH*BLAH*

: : i'm in a mood : :

hmmm.... Yes, I'm in a mood... What mood? I dunno... *sigh*

~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~

thought you had all the answers to rest your heart upon. but something happens don't see it coming, now you can't stop yourself. now you're out there swimming in the deep. in the deep. Life keeps tumbling your heart in circles till you... let go till you shed your pride and you climb to heaven and you throw yourself off. now you're out there spinning in the deep. in the deep. in the deep. in the deep. and now you're out there spinning and now you're out there spinning in the deep. in the deep. in the deep. in the deep. If you want to be given everything, give everything up... Share lang...

~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~

"Maybe part of the reason why we hold on to something so tight for so long is because we fear that something so great won't happen twice..."

""I've realized that Life is full of contradictions... Sometimes it's crazy to be sane. You need to fall to fly. People suffer because you care. You have to unlearn to know the lesson. You have to give up because you are strong. You have to be wrong to make things right... Nonetheless, Life's complexities are also Life's source of beauty. We should cry to laugh again... Fall apart to be whole again... And get hurt to Love again..."

~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~

"By the time the pain of not doing the thing gets worse than the fear of doing it, it would feel like we're carrying around a tumor in our body..." And it does...

"Knowing is better than wondering..." Is it? But then what you don't know, won't hurt you... Ignorance is bliss isn't it? But then you can only fool yourself for so long...

~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@

Admittedly I'm a bitch. Cold-hearted rin ba daw? Am I? Sometimes I do think so.. Maybe I've morphed into an ice queen. Dya think? Things are actually quite simple. And it can remain simple. It only becomes complicated when you start to feel... And care... So I guess I'm no ice queen after all. Although I wish I was... And though I know some people think so...

How is it a good idea to open up and be vulnerable? That doesn't make any sense.

Enough.

But then I've been telling myself that same sentiment for the longest while now...

This is just most likely my hormones raging. It better be.

: : did i say happy week? NOT! : :

Let me just say that last week was by far one of the most horrible week that I've ever had the misfortune to have in my entire experience with the Bank...

Monday was a breeze... Little did I know that it was the calm before the storm...

Tuesday at work was also ok... The night before the dreaded month end batch... It was cool so far when I left my shift at 2200, Tuesday. I had the Embassy party to go to that night, and I was all psyched up for it. Had my costume all ready - picked it up from my tailor that same morning, although I gagged when I saw that the skirt was transformed into an ultra mini-mini skirt (I guess I forgot the fact that with the sizable ass of my ass the skirt will definitely hitch up - WAY UP!), I say what the hell right? It doesn't happen all the time! So might as well... So the costume was all set, with all it's trappings and all. THEN it turns out that my girl friend /date for the night is being attacked by laziness & does not feel like going anymore!!! WHAT? Then as it turns out, the invite is non-transferable so I can't just bring another friend along... Damn! Then it turns out that there is somebody else who I know will be going to the party... My flaker of a girl friend convinced me to go, since I was all ready for it anyway - sayang naman! So I went... BAD DECISION!!! Haay... I shouldn't have... Don't get me wrong, but the party was a BLAST - it definitely BLEW me away alright... But it was a very BAD thing... Too too BAD...

Moving on! So of course I had a major hang over the next day... Groggy & all sick inside and not just because of the alcohol from the night before... Anyway, as I went thru the door of our office, I immediately noticed that something was very VERY odd... There were no reports AT ALL for distribution? I knew it was a month end - surely I didn't sleep thru one whole day? Then I was informed that there really was no reports released, the reason being: PC crashed... And the clincher was that there's no back up... NO BACK UP??? What dept am I in again??? Frigging IT!!! So put it all in a nutshell, we were completely blind for 48 hours. No LN - incommunicado, no connection to the printer servers, no PRES, unable to do any download, and obviously no uploading of any files either, not even an access to any of the systems... Unbelievable!!! IT right??? Users were asking us to re-connect them when they had more access to the system compared to us at that time. It was a nightmare!!!! This continued on for 3 whole days.... I caved in on the 2nd day... I had my melt down... I reached a point wherein I just could not breathe, the walls were literally closing in on me and my throat was all clogged up and my eyes were burning up... I had to run to the wash room and there I blew my steam... I was followed by two of my dear officemates and they were there to make me paypay. I hyperventilated and all!!! It was horrible... I don't usually lose my cool!!! A guy friend from the office tapped me at the back and even asked, "Umiiyak ka pala?!" It was a first for me... But my girlfriends were saying that they were really just waiting for me to crack coz they could definitely see the pressure that I was on then... Haaay!!!!

Thank GOD - all the Gods, that it's all ok now. Slowly but surely we're picking up the pieces and going back to our usual normal cycle... Yes, we now have a backup for our pc - 2 of them!!! Whew!!! But man, I never ever EVER want to go through the same experience again. Is wear I WILL quit right there and then!!!

I am so thankful though, that I have dear friends that are there for me when I need them... And I don't even have to ask, because they just know... Awh... Love yah guys.

On a positive note, (God please don't jinx this one... pretty please...) my birthday is coming up soon!!! Whoopee!!! Luau party anyone??

: : still about last week : :

* just so you know, I will still be ranting quite a bit in this entry...*

Last week was REALLY not a good week, I think I was able to establish that fact, but I forgot some bits and pieces... So just wanted to put the final touches on it. Kinda like putting the cherry and chocolate syrup on top of a fabulous sundae.

* I lost my phone during the anniv party at Embassy Tuesday night... I was totally bummed... Lost a phone yet again!!! Don't ask how I lost it coz I can't even remember myself... But miracles of all miracles, found my dear phone when we went Saturday night!!! Awesome eh?! Have to commend the staff of that place, real nice people. It's a blessing in disguise that the bouncer, the washroom attendant, the cashier, and the manager remembers me... Hehe.. How you ask? You don't want to know... Trust me!

* I wasn't able to go to my check out dive last week... I felt that I was too stressed that if I do go, I just won't be able to enjoy the dive... Sayang lang... So I decided to move it to this weekend... Knocking on wood as we speak, and crossing my fingers (& legs!) that hopefully this pushes thru... I have my gear all set!!!

* Wasn't able to go to the gym the whole week!!!! I am now a fat cow... Also, I'm feeling the stress man... My skin's breakin out!!! *bawls* phooey!

* Ok, I'm now finished ranting...

~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~

On a completely different note... Did I miss a beat? Or maybe not... No I did not actually... I'm just done with the questions. "We often mistake what we wish for, with what is..." I know. Admittedly(yes I can now admit so), it's not about this person, but it's more of the idea and the possibility... That maybe, just maybe... But it just isn't. I still don't. I thought I did... But I want what I don't want... And there's no point stressing over something that's only an almost sort-of-thing. Coz we all know almost doesn't count... (song yun ah) So I'm just gonna sit back, relax, enjoy the ride... No worries.

Happy thoughts... *grinning*

: : happy week : :

Just an hour to go and I'll be FINALLY done with my gruelling 16-hour shift! Yep, you read it right the first time, 16 hours man... Damn... Oh well, that's OT for me so it's not that bad... Actually it still is, just trying to convince myself it's not... Ok didn't work!

But miraclas of all miracles though, I'm not that tired as I expected... I think I may have enough energy to even check out the dive shops & start shopping for my gear... Hehe, but then again I always have enough energy to go shopping! Especially now that I just received my bonus from work... Hmm... Just thinking about that cash just sitting there in my account is too tempting... Gotta learn to control. Something that I really have to learn!!!

I haven't had my usual two-cups of coffee nor any cigs and yet I'm still positively perky. Go figure! Thinking happy thoughts lang... In fact, I'm definitely looking forward to this week, aside from the monthend batch, I hope it'll be a happy week:

Tuesday Night is Embassy's anniversary party, & a girlfriend of mine invited me to go! She doesn't work the next day & my shift doesn't start till 2pm so I 'm GAME!! Party! hehe. The party has a school theme, so I'm all excited to dress up for that. Luv costume parties... I haven't decided yet on what I'm gonna wear, though... But I think I have an idea... So you know that means Monday would be shopping panic day.
Oops - monday = shopping! Also for diving equipment... Control!
Thursday will be my last pool session for my scuba lessons - gotta cram it all up for my check out dive this weekend in Anilao!! Exciting!!! I'm going to the beach! Although there's really not much of a beach in Anilao, but it's ok, there's the sea so for me beach pa rin yun! hehe Looking forward to breathe in that salty fresh air, swim, and DIVE!!! naks! To breathe like Darth Vader under water with the fishies. Nice!
Friday night - considering that I didn't go out this week, I have a feeling Friday would be a catchin up night. So just gonna chill & hang out.
Oh and I'm hoping that I can realy stick this whole week out... Better that I don't see him really. I'd rather not. And I hope he doesn't make his usual "whatsup & how-you-doin", so that I don't have to worry about... Whatever. Gotta be strong... Yeah, yeah...

Just think HAPPY THOUGHTS!

: : just ranting : :

I just had my third chocolate mint for the night (doing the graveyard shift). *yum* sugar overload... but what the heck, with a week like this, I need to have my uppers... something to keep me up & about... & to keep my mind from certain things & certain personalities as well... but i guess the third choc mint was a bit of a give away that I'm not exactly doing so well... damnit!

Yet another message from he-who-must-not-be-named. What the hell?!?! Is he or isn't he? What is that about? Or should I be asking myself that question?! I have no idea why i get so irritated when I do hear from him... But I do know I go through the same reaction when I don't... Ang labo talaga... Coz that's what we are - malabo. ENOUGH! He just doesn't get it... I don't either!

Had a little chat with a colleague the other night. The topic was about falling or being in Love. Yes dear friends, Love. He mentioned that he wouldn't mind to be in Love right now. "Wow!" I exclaimed. "Really?!" He of course was flabbergasted that I wouldn't want to... He suggested that maybe I just haven't pondered over it that much? Definitely! It's not that I don't want to be, if it happens it happens right? But come to think of it now,it really has been a while since I really even thought about it... Honestly! I haven't met anyone that has made me even consider the thought of it... Sad. There was a time when I thought falling in Love was the easiest thing in the world. Whatever happened with that? I grew up, that's what happened. But I shouldn't say that, coz the guy that I was having this conversation with is in his early thirties... What does that say about me? A pessimist? Perhaps. More of a realist.... Jaded? Yes, why not. Been hurt, disappointed and all that, and I've learned from them. But it doesn't mean I don't believe in IT anymore. I do. I still do... It'll happen in time... At the right moment, & hopefully with the right guy.

Cheers!

: : random thoughts : :

* Attended a wedding of a colleague today. It was lovely... The church was beautiful, and the reception was garden-style & was set amidst old Spanish ruins. There was even a fountain in the middle! It was very romantic... Perfect lighting & all... Evoked a lot of oohs & aahs among us girls as you can imagine. Lovely...

* Just what is it about Sunday nights that makes all radio stations to play lovey-dovey-ultra-mushy love songs?!?!?! It doesn't really help right now...

* So I was able to stick it out for almost two weeks. I was firm to myself and did not break my stand. It's another round of power play. And then I receive a message out of the blue(just as before). I freak out. But regained my composure & replied just so to be polite. Hey I'm cool. I will not get affected by this again. And then what happened after a week? I crumbled... Inexplicably. I gave in... Extremely foolish of me! Pfft! I was doing so well and then BAM! I'm back to square one. Blame it on February shall we please? Never again though. Deleted his number. And no I did not memorize his number. He can go back to Timbuktu for all I care. Now that felt good!

* On a positively jovial note: I started my scuba lessons this week!!! Hooray!!! Considering the fact that I don't know how to swim, I think I did pretty good! :-) I'm a self-confessed beach addict. Eversince I can remember, I've always loved the sea. It's in my nature - Water is my sign, I'm a Piscean. My name in Greek is "water related" as well. Mind boggling how I still don't know how to swim... Anyway, I've always wanted to learn scuba. A friend of mine gave me an intro dive the other week in Anilao and it was AMAZING! Surreal experience! Although I must admit that I kinda panicked the first time I dove into the water... Almost forgot that I have the regulator & that I can breathe... Breathe like Darth Vader. But when I saw the scene before me - WOW! I've entered a new realm... I was captivated.
A week after that, decided to finally take that scuba classes. I can't wait for my check out dive! Just have to schedule when... Soon though!

: : words & their meaning (?!?) : :

isn't it funny how just one word can mean so much... possibly even too much... perhaps.
take for example the word dreaming... and it so happens that I am in this mood right now... sort of.
dictionary.com can define it in 6 ways...
(1)A series of images, ideas, emotions, and sensations occurring involuntarily in the mind during certain stages of sleep.
--> I say dreaming is not restricted to when you are sleeping. It can happen anytime - regardless of whether or not you're sleeping, or maybe walking, talking, eating, breathing or whatever it is that you're doing... Though I wish dreaming is solely restricted only when you're sleeping. That way everything would've been easier... I would only have to deal with the *dreaming* for just 8 hours or so, if that was the case... Or maybe it's just me... I dream too much. Yep, gotta be.
(2) a daydream; a reverie.
--> hmm... i'm imminently stuck to *dreaming*... must shake it off and break free from this catatonic state...
(3) A state of abstraction; a trance.
--> It is definitely a hassle. Just a distraction. Diddn't I just say I'm going catatonic? Walking zombie... bzzzzzzz
(4) A wild fancy or hope.
--> So true... Waste of time. When you hope, you expect. And the the more you hope, thus of course the higher the expectations. Exposing yourself. Making yourself susceptible to an attack of injury - physical or emotional. And of course once that happens, if you're lucky - hurray for you, but if not, you know you're screwed.
(5) A condition or achievement that is longed for.
--> Hmmm... Now if only I know what that is...
(6) And FINALLY - One that is exceptionally gratifying, excellent, or beautiful...
--> Ooooh... Ok. And so I chose to *dream*... To continue to *dream*... Because in the end, I know there will always be something beautiful out of the ugliness of it all...

Thus, Mari is, and will always be *dreaming*...
Pfft!

: : this month of February : :

It's a weird month.
Whether it's a leap year or not, it's still a weird month.
Some say people born under this month are either sheer geniuses or just plain bonkers really. Ok maybe not. :)

Perhaps I'm just ranting coz the dreaded V-day is just around the corner yet again.
Of course it's a different scenario when you're in "L", with somebody, or just basically having something with somebody... Or anything to that effect.
But for those that are single, pft! The holiday season was tough enough, and then comes February. Just when you're getting over the fact that you didn't have a date to kiss at the stroke of midnight on New Year's eve, here comes another holiday that throws your lack of romance in your face yet again. HAHA! :) It's getting hilarious isn't it?
It's because of February.

Or maybe because our tempers were in a a good high from the holiday season, you know, what with the rush & thrill of the emotions brought on by the holidays that perhaps now, everybody's suffering from the anti-climax of it all. On February. Had to be.
Blame it on February.
Yes, why don't we. :-D

: : of sinners & saints : :

A friend of mine sent me this interesting quote from Desperate Housewives:

"It's not that easy to distinguish the good guys from the bad guys... Sinners can surprise you and the same is true for saints... Why do we try to define people as simply good or simply evil? Because no one wants to admint that compassion & cruelty can live side by side in one heart, and that anyone is capable of anything..."

So true...

: : Kung Hey Fat Choy : :

It's the Chinese New Year! It literally means wishing you plenty of wealth (wingleehong.com!), but people use this phrase to say Happy New Year. Oh well, no harm done in however you mean it.
Though the year has already started and we're almost done on the first month, I'd like to take this time as MY new year. Start afresh. So in Chinese ways, I'm really not that late, it's just the right time... Excuses!
But hey it's really never too late to recognize a change in one's life... Right? It takes a lot of courage to recognize one, and even more so to accept it. So what better time to do it but now.

January is named after the Roman god Janus who's seen as having two faces staring in opposite directions; one facing the past & one to the future... So before this month ends, I'd like to reflect on the past - the things & events that have happened, things that I've done, the people that have touched my life; everything that has shaped me to who & what I am right now... And from here, the question is, where do I want to go?
I don't want to make yet another New Year's resolution. Because I already know what will be on it. It's the same old list that I make every year.
Take this for an example, at the start of last year, I told myserlf I'll quit smoking, and I was able to quit smoking for almost 10 months! - But now I am back in the habit! The only thing that I was able to hold on to from my yearly resolution was staying at the gym... I'm still with my gym, but it doesn't mean that I'm as active as I want to be!!! But still at least I stuck in keeping my membership. :-D

But kidding aside, I want this year to be different. I don't just wish it, I want it to be so. I'm tired of all the negative crap that I allow myself to go through each and every damn year. Besides, there's already too much negativity in this world! So I'm going to be more POSITIVE this year. No more drama PLEASE! Enough with the past. No more stressing over what's been done and what could be. No other way but to go forward from here, and I'm gonna do it with a big SMILE with my head held up & of course with my posture just right.
Life is a journey as they say, and I sure had my fair share of obstacles along the way - but you "lose" some, you "gain" some. No regrets.
I'm still blessed to have a great Nanay & sister... I have great friends that I know I can count on no matter what... I have a good job. I'm blessed with a good Life.

So this year, I'll make it MY YEAR. :-) It will.
Life is a succession of moments. To live each one is to succeed.
Just gotta keep on breathing.

: : no more drama : :

No More Drama
By Mary J Blige

So tired, tired of these drama
No more, no more
I wanna be free
I'm so tired, so tired

Broken heart again
Another lesson learn
Better know your friends
Or else you will get burn
Gotta count on me
Cause I can guarantee
That I'll be fine

No more pain (no more pain)
No more pain (no more pain)
No drama (no more drama in my life)
Noone's gonna make me hurt again

Why'd I play the fool
Go through ups and downs
Knowing all the time
You wouldn't be around
Or maybe I like the stress
Cause I was young and restless
But that was long ago
I don't wanna cry no more

No more pain (no more pain)
No more game (no more game messin with my mind)
No drama (no more drama in my life)
Nooone's gonna make me hurt again
No more tears (no more tears, I'm tired of cryin everynight)
No more fears (no more fears, I really don't wanna cry)
No drama (no more drama in my life)
I don't ever wanna hurt again
Wanna speak my mind, wanna speak my mind

Uh, it feel so good
When you let go
Avoid these drama in your life
Now you're free from all the pain
Free from all the game
Free from all the stress
So find your happiness
I don't know
Only God knows where the story ends for me
But I know where the story begins
It's up to us to choose
Whether we win or loose
And I choose to win

No more pain (no more pain)
No more game (tired of your playin' game with my mind)
No drama (no more drama in my life)
No more, no more, No more, no more
No more tears (no more tears, no more cryin every night)
No more fears (no more waking be up in the morning)
No drama, no more in my life

No more drama, no more drama
No more drama, no more drama
NO MORE DRAMA
NO MORE DRAMA
NO MORE DRAMA
NO MORE DRAMA
NO MORE DRAMA
No more drama in my life
So tired, tired of these drama

-> Amen to that!

: : honestly... : :

feeling so down lately
having unbelievable extreme mood swings by the hour
have to be busy
attempt to focus
sometimes it actually works...
but most times... not

out of sight.
out of mind.
less talk.
less mistake.
no talk = no mistake.
i used to believe this works. i actually made it work for myself! for a time... but then i can only kid myself for so long... and now...
after the longest time of thinking & believing that i can avoid the unavoidable, & succeeding in the process for a time, i find myself to be in the same position that i promised myself i won't be in... yet here i am...
and now... nothing.
can't undo what's been done.
but I'm a big girl... i can handle this... i should be able to...
:-)
enough with the drama!
there are more depressing things in the world right now.
no other way but to go forward. no sense being stuck in a rut, for that won't do anybody good. get up, smell the pollution in the air and MOVE ON!
easier said than done, but still, it's worth a try.


*****************************************************
~Strong Enough~
by Sheryl Crow

God, I feel like hell tonight
Tears of rage I cannot fight
I’d be the last to help you understand
Are you strong enough to be my man?

Nothing’s true and nothing’s right
So let me be alone tonight
Cause you can’t change the way I am
Are you strong enough to be my man?

Lie to me
I promise I’ll believe
Lie to me
But please don’t leave

I have a face I cannot show
I make the rules up as I go
It’s try and love me if you can
Are you strong enough to be my man?

When I’ve shown you that I just don’t care
When I’m throwing punches in the air
When I’m broken down and I can’t stand
Will you be strong enough to be my man?

Lie to me
I promise I’ll believe
Lie to me
But please don’t leave

: : about a boy : :

About a boy...
Yes, it's always about a boy... The good. The Bad. Good & bad. Bad & good. The handsome ones, & the not so handsome ones... Of varying shapes & sizes & nationality... There will always be a boy...
But there comes a time when a girl meets a certain boy who can make everything else a bit different than the usual encounter... This certain boy who basically tilts the girl's world into a blundering confusion...
Where the girl can't seem to get the boy out of her mind... And she starts thinking about romantic notions that she thought she'd never even consider... At that point in her life... And she really should not do so... For she should know better! Because after all, he is still a boy... And boys will be boys...
She tries to be strong and keep "it" together... She tries with all her might. She tries to convince herself that she can handle it. And sometimes she actually even believes herself... But it's a losing battle. Because her heart has a mind of her own... And has already decided even before her mind could register what it is that was happening... But the mind still refuses to accept the inevitable, & will continue to do so... Thus hurting the girl in the entire stressful process... A dear friend suggested to just take the leap and get hurt, & feel...
But you have to understand that the girl has been through a lot already... And the situation is not exactly the forever picture...
So why take the risk? Too much has been risked already...
But damn... It hurts... It truly does physically hurt deep inside... - says the girl.

I think one can only silently cry inside for so long... And after while, the heart can only take so much and eventually a torrent of tears will eventually spring out from one's tired eyes...
And in that moment, you'd be eternally grateful that you have a dear friend's shoulder to cry on to...

Thank you Paul! Love yah much...

: : new year blues : :

My first post for the New Year...

It's just the start of the year & yet so much stuff has happened in such a short span of time... It would've been great if the things that happened were all good, but sadly most of it are not good at all... But let's not go there as yet, let's start with the good ones first...

On the day of new year's eve, I was all excited to break the year right with my dear Mum & lil sis at New World Hotel. Although it would've been nice to spend it with the whole family back in Laguna, it was quite refreshing to have that time exclusively for just the three of us. It was great fun - bonding with Mom & sis like old times when we were in Guyana. It was quite poetic in a sense, because from now on, officially that is, it truly is and will always be just the three of us. :-) Now I miss my Mum...
After the quality time spent with my family, I met up with some dear friends from the office and we partied the night away until the sun was up! Great crazy fun... From Embassy to Fiama's, then back to Embassy... Sometime in the night I had a tiff with a guy friend of mine over something silly - like about a certain boy! Long story...
A story that is actually still on the making or something like it, and would most likely just be left hanging and no clear ending... But that would have to be in another post of it's own...
Back to my guy friend... Had lunch with him the next Monday & we had our little "talk" & cleared things up... We're good now. I'm glad that we were able to clear things up right away. It was a good thing that we did, coz I had no idea what was in store for me right after this...
But then again who does?!

Right now I'm not in good terms with a very dear friend of mine... And I'm really affected by it... Although we're not talking & things are blurry with us at the moment, I still consider her as a good friend... But it's just sad to find out that all it took was something really lame for us to be in this state. It's sad, because I thought we were both better than this...
(sigh)

: : ??????????????????? : :

Ever had a feeling about a situation wherein you had an inkling that something's up & bound to "happen"?(though your sane mind wished that it didn't, but then then your impulsive self clamored for it!) But when the situation that you felt was going to happen actually happened, it still leaves you in a state of total perplexity?!?!?!
The expected unexpectedness... Dumbfounding...

So of course now the question is, how do you deal with it?
Just how the hell do you????
Do you balk at the situation & pretend that it didn't happen and move on with the normalcy of your so-called life? And then stumble(purposely!) into something else and turn the whole situation into something that's even more puzzling! Wherein you jump from the frying pan and into to the fire? Which basically leaves you now in a situation wherein you're even more confused...
Because now you realize what is it exactly that you want... But wished you didn't.
So you go back inside your protective wall... And then what????
Then what????
What?????
Damn...

: : Mistake by Fiona Apple : :

I'm gonna make a mistake
I'm gonna do it on purpose
I'm gonna waste my time
'Cause I'm full as a tick
And I'm scratching at the surface
And what I find is mine
And when the day is done, and I look back
And the fact is I had fun, fumbling around
All the advice I shunned, and I ran
Where they told me not to run, but I sure
Had fun, so
I'm gonna FUCK it up again
I'm gonna do another detour
Unpave my path
And if you wanna make sense
Whatcha looking at me for
I'm no good at math
And when I find my way back,
The fact is I just may stay, or I may not
I've acquired quite a taste
For a wellmade mistake
I wanna mistake why can't I make a mistake?
I'm always doing what I think I should
Almost always doing everybody good
Why
Do I wanna do right, of course but
Do I really wanna feel I'm forced to
Answer you, hell no
I've acquired quite a taste
For a wellmade mistake, I wanna
Make a mistake, why can't I make a mistake
I'm always doing what I think I should
Almost always doing everybody good
Why


I think my current song of the moment explicitly describes the rut that I am in right now...
Why do I always chose the unpaved path? When there's obviously a much more easier way... Grrrrr....
SIGH.......

: : Too Lost in You by Sugababes : :

You look into my eyes
I go out of my mind
I can't see anything
Cos this love's got me blind
I can't help myself
I can't break the spell
I can't even try

I'm in over my head
You got under my skin
I got no strength at all
In the state that I'm in

And my knees are weak
And my mouth can't speak
Fell too far this time

[Chorus:]
Baby, I'm too lost in you
Caught in you
Lost in everything about you
So deep, I can't sleep
I can't think
I just think about the things that you do (you do)
I'm too lost in you
(Too lost in you)

ooh
Well you whispered to me
And I shiver inside
You undo me and move me
In ways undefined
And you're all I see
And you're all I need
Help me baby (help me baby)
Help me baby (help me now)

Cos I'm slipping away
Like the sand to the tide
Flowing into your arms
Falling into your eyes
If you get too near
I might disappear
I might lose my mind

[Chorus:]
Baby, I'm too lost in you
Caught in you
Lost in everything about you
So deep, I can't sleep
I can't think
I just think about the things that you do (you do)
I'm too lost in you
(Too lost in you)

I'm going crazy in love for you baby
(I can't eat and I can't sleep)
I'm going down like a stone in the sea
Yeah, no one can rescue me
(No one can rescue me)

Oooh, my baby
Oooh, baby, baby

[Chorus:]
Baby, I'm too lost in you
Caught in you
Lost in everything about you
So deep, I can't sleep
I can't think
I just think about the things that you do (you do)
I'm too lost in you

I'm lost in you
I'm lost in you
I'm lost in everything about you
So deep (so deep), I can't sleep
I can't think
I just think about the things that you do (you do)
I'm too lost in you
(Too lost in you)


I just happen to like the song... But I'm obviously NOT!!! - Whatever... Hell no.

: : carpe diem! : :

You only live once, so live & enjoy life to the fullest! Carpe Diem! Seize the day! This has been my on-going mantra for the past couple of weeks, & I must say, life is good! :-)

First off, my Palawan trip was great FUN! It was definitely an adventure from the very beginning right till the end...
~ Oct 28. We left Manila aboard a ferry & sailed through the night to Coron Palawan. We were a group of 12 - a hodgepodge of people from various depts who's game for anything - & I mean ANYTHING! And boy did we rock the boat! :-) We drank, danced, & were merry the whole night. Hehe. Pole dancing anyone? Although the pole wasn't exactly a pole but more of a pillar!
~ Oct 29. Arrived in beautiful Coron... The scenery was breath taking!!! We just checked in our luggages(did I mention that I had a lot!), changed into our swimsuits and headed back on a boat for island hopping galore. Sarap!!! No work! No worries! A day of swimming (though I can't swim), snorkelling(with my mini fins!), sight seeing, & a bit of trekking - & all with a splash of adventure written all over it. Night time was a whole different story... Hehe. Had my first taste of "bilog" & boy did I regret it the next day... But it's all good... Still FUN.
~ Oct 30. Another day of island hopping galore on our way to Calauit Island. GHOSTLY NIGHT at Calauit!!!!
~ Oct 31. Safari Ride!! Giraffe feeding! :-) Coulion Island, used to be a leper colony. The unending steps to the cross... And I'm not even religious! Makinit Lake. DRINKING TIME!!!
~ Nov 1. Buhbye Coron. Hello HOC! :-)

~ to be continued...

* kinikilig ako... LN out of the blue from a Mr. Somebody. haha. *kilig*

: : PBB... : :

Ok... Ok... I admit... I'm currently hooked on this reality show... Unbelievable!!! Pero grabe na ito... :-) I can't seem to help myself, but I just have to have my fix on what's going on inside the house...
Nakakaloka...

: : itching for the beach!!!! : :

One more week to go!!! Palawan here we come!!!
I can't wait!!!

And next month, it's gonna be BORACAY baby!!!!

B O R A C A Y ! ! ! !


Yep!!!
I'm making up for lost time with the beach...
Stocking up on mucho SPFs...
:-)

: : busy body me : :

I think my last post made quite a stir... Some people I tell yah... If you can't take it, then no nobody's forcing you to read on. Leave!
Makes me think about MTRCB on Pinoy Big Brother... Censoring reality? If only life can also be cut & edited like a movie, but unfortunately, it can't be so. On life whatever happens is the final cut, no chance for a second take to replace the "bad cut". You can try again of course, but what's done is done...

Moving on...
I attended a kiddie party over the weekend! It's the 1st bday of the daughter of one of our bosses - she was so adorable! A bubbling baby with such a happy disposition - she was just smiling the whole time!!! Afterwards, Pia, Erik & I went to watch a movie at Greenbelt - 40 year old virgin. It was hilarious!!! Hella funny.

I was off from work last Monday to Wednesday - a welcome break... I was originally planning to go home to Laguna, but lil sis was sick so I decided to stay in the Metro & be the caring big sis that I am (most of the time...). Nevertheless, I must say that I was able to do a lot during my "off days" - except for Monday... hehe

Monday ~ woke up with a start at around 06:00AM and freaked out. I thought I had work at 6AM! Thru a cloud of sleepiness I realized that I didn't have work so went back to bed... Grrr.... Woke up at around 11:30 with a slight headache from too much sleeping... I basically just bummed around the entire day & watched TV & eat! Felt horribly lazy...

Tuesday ~ I promised myself that I WILL do something, and I did! I decided to have my very first boxing lesson at Elorde as recommended by my roommate. It was great! Though I must admit I was comical when trying to box + footwork. I swear my instructor was laughing at me when I asked if I had to change foot when doing a left uppercut... And when I sashayed backward when asked to step back. Kinda had my dancing lessons mixed up with the session. Afterwards, with a stinky wrap at hand and with my knuckles red (naks!), I still felt ambitious enough to hit the gym and run! Was able to do some weights & even a bit of crunches. Damn I was on a roll that day. Well, at least I was able to release all that pent-up emotions!

Wednesday ~ Coding day! So had no choice but to stay indoors til after 7pm. Went to the gym and did my usual run on the threadmill, crunches, etc... To cap off my workout, I did Body Balance, a combination of yoga/tai chi/pilates. It felt great to stretch out...

So there you have it! I was quite the busy bee these past few days... :-)

: : casual sex? : :

If you do it, chances are it's not going to go anywhere. But if you both know it's not going anywhere, then there's nothing wrong with it.

--Paul Walker in Us, on having sex on the first date. Woo-hoo, the '70s are back! Around the office, we call it Casual Sex Fridays... (from Eonline.com)

: : All about LoVe AcTuAlLy... : :

I finally saw "Love actually" & I have to say it's one of the most charming movies I've ever seen!!! One of those rare movies that have me gushing over it with oodles & oodles of aaawhhsss & sighs... :-) I was already enthralled at the very beginning of the movie!

Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think about the arrivals gate at Heathrow Airport. General opinion's starting to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but I don't see that. It seems to me that love is everywhere. Often it's not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but it's always there - fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends. When the planes hit the Twin Towers, as far as I know none of the phone calls from the people on board were messages of hate or revenge - they were all messages of love. If you look for it, I've got a sneaky feeling you'll find that love actually is all around.

With that kind of intro, who wouldn't? I'm lovin it!
Here are some more quotes from the movie that will definitely make you go "hmm..." or "awhhh...":

But you know the thing about romance is people only get together right at the very end. by Sam

Sometimes the chase is better than the actual "taking" they say... They call it romantic when he's courting you. Sometimes the romance ends when two people actually o get together! One of life's ironies...

Jamie: It's my favorite time of day, driving you.
Aurelia: [in Portuguese] It is the saddest part of my day, leaving you.

A definite "awwhhhhh" moment!

Natalie(secretary): Hello, David. I mean "sir". Shit, I can't believe I've just said that. Oh, and now I've gone and said "shit" - twice. I'm so sorry, sir.
Prime Minister: It's fine, it's fine. You could've said "fuck", and then we'd have been in real trouble.
Natalie: Thank you, sir. I did have an awful premonition that I was going to fuck up on the first day. Oh, piss-it!

A bloody good ole English humor... Had me laughing!
I dunno, maybe it's the British acccent, or just Hugh Grant (possibly!) but "Love Actually" actually made me re-think my views on Love (yes it did!)... Love is definitely everywhere. One doesn't have to search for it really, coz for all you know, it's just right there in front of you...

: : In the midst of a foggy morning & sleepy me... : :

* {YAWN!!!!!}
It's been extremely hard to get up in the morning these past few days... What with the weather getting colder & wetter as we delve deeper into the -ber months... Argh... I really have to struggle to wake up... And it's a failing battle between me & my bed- with my comfy warm blankets & plump pillows... But I have to say I am more than the willing victim as I press the snooze button yet again for the upteenth time... Before I know it, I look at the clock & I know I'll be late yet again... I force myself to go to the bathroom and prepare myself for a cold COLD shower. My senses would temporarily awaken at this point, but as I put on my clothes & reach the office... The sight of the computers immediately transports me back into a kind of stupor... Haaay.... This is how I am every morning this past week.


* I saw a VCD of "Patch Adams" lying around the apartment one afternoon (one of my sister's reference materials) & being too lazy to go the gym (eventhough I promised myself to go to the gym to "buff it up" before the Palawan trip...), decided to watch it... It wasn't such a good movie to be perfectly honest, it was too sentimental to the point of being sappy, but the story (it was based on a true story) was touching indeed nevertheless... There was one particular line in the movie that struck a nerve in me...

See what no one else sees.

See what everyone chooses not to see...

out of fear, conformity or laziness.

See the whole world anew each day!

HOW TRUE!!!! I can particullarly apply this to a recent "event" that happened... I know a lot of people that claims & thinks that they're so tough, nonchalant, the usual I-don't-give-a-fuck attitude. But then something happened that is obviously screaming OFF & FOUL - an incident that is practically begging for an action-- ANY action! An admonition? Some censure? Castigation? SOMETHING - ANYTHING!!! But these same people with their devil may care attitude chose to turn a blind eye on it... Why? Out of FEAR of course...
It's crap I tell yah.
It's all about "politics" they say... But then again politics is crap.
I never was a people person... And I never did care much about "politics".
I'd rather keep the respect that I have for myself and stick to what I believe in rather than conform to anyone out of this so called "fear"...

: : hum hum... : :

* "A lie told often enough, becomes the truth..." - Lenin
Wouldn't you agree?
I believe so...
Any lie, told often enough to the right set & number of people, in time (even instantly) becomes the truth... Hmmmmm....

* Is there such a thing as a beautiful disaster? Because I know there is a disasteer waiting to happen if I let it be... It could be beautiful, or it could be not, depending on who's assesing... Though I know that in whatever angle I try to justify it, it's futile, coz I'll just be fighting a losing battle... Damn is this being caught up? Or perhaps just an encounter waiting for another encounter to happen? In need of a diversion to distract one's attention? or too much concentration on something? Damn... I can't believe this is so... It's just not me.
This isn't an admission... But merely a jumble of confused (and repressed?) emotions... Perhaps... But maybe not...

: : Vacation Time!!! : :

Trip to Palawan-Coron

After a loooong hiatus from the beach, your pisces princess will finally have her reunion with the sea!!! Haaay SALAMAT!!!!
We just confirmed our reservations today to go to Palawan-Coron for Oct 28-31!!! Yey!!! I can hardly wait! I'm excited! :-D Imagine 4 days & 3 nights of gorgeous beaches, island hopping, beaches, El Nido! more island hopping, beaches, & I get to go to a safari drive & even feed the giraffe! How amazing would that be?! I have this huge (jaw-splitting) smile on my face right now... Bliss...
And to wet our appetite for this trip, we're going to Balai Resort in Batangas this weekend... :-D Gonna start working on that tan, but not too much though. Gotta save some for Palawan... Oooh! And I just got a really cute belly ring to go with the beach outfits. Haha. Nice...

I've been so busy with work that I haven't had the time to go to the beach for the past 5 months! That's a long time for me. hehe I've lost my tan & I am now getting light skinned... My last beach getaway was with my sister last May 11...
I badly need this trip to get away from it all and just relax...
:-D

how dya like the counter? I got the idea from davey & ronnie. hehe

: : err... : :

to err is human...

They say it is all part of human nature to err... It's an accepted fact. But sometimes people use it as a security blanket and a quick excuse just to make that mistake that we know we are not supposed to commit in the first place. A choice is always involved before making any actions, so even for the spontaneous acts that we do, there's that millisecond in our brain when we ask ourselves if we're really up for whatever it is we're gonna do... Yet for some people, no matter the hundred - or the million warning signals that goes off in their brain, the prospect of doing the forbidden is just far too tempting to pass up... It's the sweetest sin to do what is forbidden... Haaaay....

: : lazy me : :

* It's been more than a month since my last entry... I'm becoming too lazy really... Or should i say lazier? I'm still stuck reading the same book - "The Historian" for the past couple of months now... Still stuck on the same song as well - kinda... And still feeling some remnants of my vulnerability from last month as well... So now I'm lazy & stuck in a rut? haha
Well not really - really!

* Life is a journey indeed... And everyday you learn something new. Or just when you thought you had things firgured out, something happens and it makes you realize that things are not always what they seem to be. May it be a good thing or a bad thing, you can never really tell. You'll never fully understand it until it happens to you. And unfortunately for most people, they learn it the hard way. But then I guess it usually happens in that order. That's the beauty of Life.

I'm sleepy...

: : hum hum... : :

It's been a while (yet again) since I last posted an entry... The past couple of months went by like a blur to me... So many things have been happening lately that I can't help but be caught up or lost in the whirlwind of what we call Life - "My life"...

August has just started yet I feel swamped with it all! Leaving me still in a blunder... :-)

: : half way down the year... : :

i can't believe that we're already halfway down the road for this year! it's almost the end of June!!! before we know it the -ber months will be here and then it's christmas time! :-) but ok, I'm getting ahead of myself...

it's been a while since I last blogged... i guess i've been busy... it's pretty easy to get caught up with everything else that's happening in our lives that we just forget some things just like that... everything is so fast paced nowadays that it's tough to keep up... take for example with your family and friends; you tell yourself that you'll call or see them more often, a week passes by and you scold yourself to pick up the damn phone and call or send an email, and then the next thing you know a month has already passed you by and you still haven't done whatever it is that you promised yourself you'd do!!! procrastination is terrible terrible thing... it's sad though, coz it shouldn't be that way, but it happens... or is it just me? i'm terrible... =)
I know it's a bit late into the year to make a resolution, but this time I really ought to try to eliminate this habit of mine. There's this quote that I like that says "If you take too long in deciding what to do with your life, you'll find you've done it." (- Pam Shaw ), I guess that definitely does not apply with me. Sigh...

I feel a bit down actually... I had my annual medical check-up (yup, one that i actually went to!), and I got my result just this Thursday... I apparently have minor thoracic dextroscoliosis... My spine has a minor curve. I mean I know it's minor and my Mom has comforted me that it's not life threathening (after of course I my panic attack of questions if I'm gonna die...), I still can't help but feel sorry for myself... I'm a self proclaimed hypochondriac, my sister and Mom can attest to that, so I always think that something is wrong with me. But now it's different, I'm given the knowledge that there IS something wrong with me... And I guess it makes me feel vulnerable... I've always thought that there's something medically wrong with me, but even I know that they're really nothing, but I never actually thought that there is really something wrong you know... Sigh....
I was so down I went to the Mall and bought a couple of tops and some lingerie...

And then I saw a picture... and then another picture...
Why????
Grrrrr...!!!!!

Had dinner and a movie with a girlfriend and we had a good chat about life, love, and love? and then some... When do you know when the time is THE time? And when do you know when it is THE one? Possibilities are endless... But when you think about it, everything else really boils down to one argument that you'll never really know until you give it a shot... So perhaps it's time to bite the bullet and just TRY it huh????
Hmmmm...

* I was just browsing through my blog entries and I've noticed that it has been a while since I last posted a sensible entry - "profound" like as my sister would say... =)


* I just spoke with a dear friend of mine from High School. I haven't seen him for so long, I can't remember when was the last time we saw each other... I think it was '97 Trinidad - carnival time. I miss him! Eventhough we haven't seen each other for almost like a century, I'm proud to say that we did not lose touch through the years. =) I remember I had a crush on him back in high school, I never told him that. We used to call each other every night. The good old QC days, when everybody used to burn up the phone lines! I even remember there was a time when some of our friends was asking us if we had something - when we were really just good friends. He was also always there for me whenever I have just broken up with a boyfriend. I remember this one time after my break up, we were at this bar having a night cap and he forgot his wallet and he had to call his mum! Hehe
Good old John.
I have to see him soon. It's been too long.


* Yesterday was the company outing at Enchanted Kingdom. For one day, HSBC employees were transformed into kids and enjoyed the rides in the amusement park, or at least some of them. I had work from 6am to 2pm so we went afterwards. =) I must say I did have fun yesterday - surprisingly. I thought it was kinda boring that we were going there, in fact I didn't even really plan on going. It was more like a last minute thing. But I'm glad I did. I know we were supposed to "interact" with other staff from different dept, but I basically hung out with the same IT peeps! Hehe. We rode the Space Shuttle TWICE! Pia and I screamed like hell of course and had a laugh trip right after. We also did the Kart Track (go-carts) but I was a bit disappointed in that one coz my seat had a hole and my ass was being scraped!!! I wasn't able to zoom away. We also did the Log Jam and got soaked!!! AND for the first and LAST time I rode Anchors Away!!! I swear I did not stop screaming from the beginning 'till the end of the ride!!!! I thought I was going to FAINT!!! And Kit had the nerve to take pictures of my shrieking moment!!! Hehe! It was hella fun though. Exhilirating. Too bad we didn't get to ride Rio Grande. But all in all EK wasn't so bad.
Afterwards - yes, Pia & I still had the energy to go out still! We went to have a couple of drinks at Congo in Alabang. As you can imagine, I was dead tired by the time I reached home.


* I was a bit miffed today. You see I'm doing a re-run of meteor garden *blush* and I couldn't find the CDs!!! Found out that my room mate borrowed them for the day and she took them with her to work, and of course I couldn't say anything anymore coz she had it... Grrr....


* Ok... I really can't think of a reason why I should....

: : anonymous quote... : :

If anyone needs a vacation, it's you. You've been working hard nonstop, both physically (for your daily bread) and emotionally (to help keep your loved ones on the same page). Now, while you have the chance, it's time to get away. If you have a travel partner to play hooky with, so much the better. If you don't, that shouldn't stop you from going. You can bet that you'll find one there waiting for you when you arrive.

: : another survey... slow day : :

hug from behind - you like to feel what the other
person is feeling and see things how they see
them. you tend to be serious and emotional.


What Sign of Affection Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

=) really??? ME???

: : "?? Which Alcoholic Drink Am I ??" : :

Vodka


?? Which Alcoholic Drink Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla



ok, so i was bored =)

: : Postmodernism : :

Postmodernism is the belief in complete open interpretation. You see the universe as a collection of information with varying ways of putting it together. There is no absolute truth for you; even the most hardened facts are open to interpretation. Meaning relies on context and even the language you use to describe things should be subject to analysis.

So the Baguio trip didn't push thru. But it's ok. I went to the beach instead!!! =)

The whole week I was hyped to go to Baguio for the weekend, but come Friday, plans suddenly changed. Of course I was pissed! But I certainly was not gonna let that glitch ruin my rare weekend off from work. One thing was for sure though, I did not wish to spend the entire weekend roasting from the heat of the city. So I went to the beach instead! With my more than willing sister as my accomplice, we hastily packed our bags, & with no reservations whatsoever, woke up early the next (Saturday) morning and headed for galera. It was an adventure indeed! It was a good time to bond, though of course we still bickered & fought & quarreled with each other along the way (we are sisters you know), I had a great time. =)

Friday night before heading off for the beach, I went to watch a movie with Pia, & her friends Paul & Dal. We watched Triple X, & I gotta tell ya the movie sucks BIG XXX time!!! Waste of money. But oh well, we had a couple of beers afterwards and my weekend was set.

And now I'm back again in the urban jungle, and how I wish I was back again by the beach just lazin around doin nothing and having no worries and listening to some Bob Marley... Damn...

: : 05-05-05 : :

poof! It's the 5th day of the 5th month of the 5th year of the new millenium. Aint that cool?

Moving forward(it's a phrase that honestly just urks me at work), this week flew by so fast!
- May 1 -> Labour Day. Worked 16 hours. Not bad for OT. But was honestly bored out of my mind for doing practically nothing.

- May 2 -> Found 50 bucks on the pavement on my way to parking. Free breakfast it is then! Post Labour Day Blues. Declared by GMA as a special non-working holiday. Went grocery shopping with my sister, a necessity since we have no food at home anymore. Found this yummy body milk spa salt! Doing the graveyard shift. Since it was a holiday, this day wasn't anything different than the previous day...

- May 3 -> Went to the gym to do some pilates+yoga. It felt great to stretch those muscles and to FINALLY do something productive for the week! And hey, this nice guy even helped me out with some positions. It didn't help though coz I still couldn't balance myself using my wrist. Just injured my wrist that's all. And tried the yummy bath salts in the sauna - nice! Amazing what a simple conversation from a certain somebody could do to a certain somebody... *wink*wink* It made me go awhh... Graveyard still. Been feeling a bit off at work, but then what else is new eh.

- May 4 -> Was feeling a bit ambitious this particular morning. After my shift, I went to the gym and did Tai Chi to achieve that ZEN feeling. It was great. I had a
chat with the istructor and he's one of the most peaceful looking guy I've met. After Tai Chi, I went to join the Body Combat Session - a combination of kickboxing/tae bo etc. I told you I was feeling ambitious. I attacked the class with so much gusto I swear I even was amazed with myself. Talk about working a sweat. It felt GOOOD. And yes, now you can imagine what I'm going through... My entire body hurts like hell. Ugh! It hurts!

- May 5 -> I just realized that today was my friend's bday and I forgot to greet her! I'm horrible. Of course I went straight home to my bed after work and slept like a log. After effects of my ambitious workout. Though that workout made me feel like I've really lost weight already. Hehe. WIshful thinking I know.
I'm currently at work so gotta head off...

* * * I'm going to Baguio this weekend to attend a wedding!!! Can't wait to get there coz 1) it's been a while since I last visited Baguio 2)I'm gonna be driving with a friend And we have no clue how to get there. Adventure it is! (not my adventure though, we're using his car though)* * *

: : boohoo : :

boohoo for me! I'm on a double shift on a perfectly fine Sunday. Oh, and did I mention that tomorrow happens to be a special non-working holiday for the rest of the working populace. Double boohoo for me because I am not part of that general populace!
BOOHOO!
BOOHOO!
(heaves a HUGE SIGH...)
it's ok...
just think money Mari... hehe... double pay on a triple rate. not bad... not bad at all... and i basically have nothing to do anyway.

: : wala lang... : :

two hours to go & i will be on my 3 day off from work... 3 & 1/2 actually since I'll be done by 2pm.
It's a break that I'm looking forward to...
I'll be going home to Laguna to spend some time with my family... It's my Lolo's birthday as well... I don't know if the plan to go to Caliraya will push thru, but hopefully it does... I'm in dire need for some R&R, and going to the Lake would be a welcome to my senses...
I feel drained...
Tired...
I need to recuperate and rrecharge my energies.
Hopefully the trip home will do just that...

**********************************************************
~ some quotes that made me wonder this week ~

"Life is the longest Death..." - I caught this in a song which title I can't remember.. It's tragick... Deep, & Dark... Sad... But could possibly be true...

"To be banal about it, things were slower in the past... Everyithing now seems to be in a fast forward mode... All at once in one moment... As a result of this, highs are higher, and depressions deeper..." - Hmmm... This basically ultimately summarizes our life now.

: : OFF day : :

I finally had my OFF day from work!!! FINALLY goddamit!!!=D
So that definitely placed a smile on my face...
Though I am back at work now (HUHUHU! Goddamit!!!)
But I'm ok now. One day OFF from work is still way better than having none at all...

I was able to spend some quality time with my precious ME!
I went to the gym to work all my frustrations and stress from work, spent extra more time in the sauna to sweat out all the toxins (from work yet again). Scheduled a massage. And best of all, I indulged myself on a little shopping! SHOPPING!!! Hehe. It was quite therapeutic. Though I didn't really buy much. Yes, I've finally learned how to control myself from splurging on items that I don't really need. Damn! That sounded so convincing that I even convinced even myself there for a minute! LOL! But seriously, I'm way better now than how I was last year. Seeing the credit bills helped a lot. Anyway, yesterday I bought myself a tub of body cream from BodyShop(I really needed one), 2 tanktops(white & brown)from Topshop(i've always wanted to get these - always!), and a pair of ultra comfy army green flipflops(it's really comfy, in fact, i'm wearing it now).
I met up with a dear friend of mine for dinner - Paul(his bday's comin up!!!), we ended up in Red Crab. The food was great! I ate a whole lot!!! Afterwards we had coffee at Starbucks. Good food, good conversation, great company - It was a good night!
I met up with Pia & Co in Metrowalk at around 11:30 and did a couple of our usual round of beer drinking. As usual, we both wanted to do some dancing, but the bar that we ended up in was only playing House music for the night. Damnit! But it was ok, we still jiggled a bit, just a bit. FUN FUN FUN as always with Pia girl. Hehe
At the end of the night I was totally crushing on this guy!!! *wink*wink* A charmer extraordinaire. I swear he was like a babe magnet in the bar... Chicks were approaching him non-stop! And of course that's what got me kinda hooked like a fish is to a bait. For that night that is.
Damnit!
=)

Oh, and did I mention that I went home at around 3:00 and had to be at work for 6:00AM. So now, I am suffering from lack of sleep and a slight hangover...

: : Grrrr moment : :

my day entire day was going so well actually. I guess it was going too well, coz just when I was about to call it a day, something had to come up to change everything. And to think that I was very much looking forward to spend my precious couple of days off from work...

A colleague called in sick. That's fine actually. Over time right? Money right? I'm in the afternoon shift this week, still am right now, and the guy that called in sick is doing the morning shift... I figure since I'm still in the office as we speak, which is 9:46PM to be precise, surely my colleague who did the AM shift today could do the AM shift tomorrow and I can continue on to do the PM shift. It's the most logical thing to do. But I guess for some people, simple consideration is a term that is foreign to their vocabulary. So now, I have to get back to work in less than 8 hours after this shift... To be in time to cover the morning shift at 6AM.

Isn't that fabulous? *snicker*

: :An Affair to Remember/Love Affair: :

It never fails... I always end up in tears(BAWLING!) after watching this movie... No matter how many times I've seen it, have memorized most of the lines, and knowing exactly what will happen next... The movie still moves me to cry my eyes out...
For me, it has to be one of the most romantic movie of all time...
It's the kind of movie that makes you want to fall in love again...
To feel Love, and be Loved...
It gives you that warm fuzzy feeling inside you that makes you want to hug that certain somebody...
It's a Love story that we all wish would someday happen to us.
To meet that somebody, regardless of the place and time, regardless of anything...
If it's meant to happen, it will happen.

I was having a chat with a friend of mine the other day, and we were talking about our "love life". Or I should say her Love life, for she is definitely in Love and has been so for almost 5 years, and for my part, well, let's just say my "experiences"... =)
5 years ago, I was the one in love and giving her the advices, and now, it was quite amusing to see that the tables have been turned and how she is now advicing me on matters about the heart. That's Life for you.
Our conversation veered off to this movie, and how we love it... And how terribly romantic would it be if I was to meet somebody like that...
But then wait, I have already! Without the Love on my part that is...0
Terrible...
She suggested that perhaps the movie had too much of an effect on me... Except that I've been mostly having "affairs" and forgetting (or avoiding?) the Love in it.
Perhaps...

But I think An Affair to Remember sounds much much better than AffairS to Remember.

=)

: : an idle mind breeds ALL sorts of thoughts! : :

i was going to say idle minds breeds evil thoughts but then again the more i thought about the the thoughts being thought about in this state(that's a LOT of thoughts there...) it's not all pure evil really... but then again who's to judge that whatever it is that one is thinking about is evil? and then of course my usual form of argument would follow with this line of thought in mind... that which being what's evil to me may not be evil to you.

it's all relative really...
like everything else is as i believe...

in those idle moments wherein one has absolutely nothing else to do, like me for example, right now of course, these are the moments when i amaze even myself of the nonsensical crap that my brain can procure... from everything to nothing and then back again... realizations, reminiscing, aspirations, downfalls & goals, & all other what-nots that leaves me as a confounded fool...

melodramatic...
poetic...
gibberish...
befuddled!!!
craziness?
perhaps.

zzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

: : just some thoughts to ponder... : :

I was just talking to a dear friend of mine... We've known each other since we were seven years old! We've seen each other transform from the fun, & awkward days of grade school into the awkward self (still) that we are now. =) I hardly get to see or chat with him especially since we both have a weird work schedule... But it never fails to amaze me how easy it is to strike up a conversation with him at any given time. And I usually call him up to get that "reality-bites check" talk. And tonight was something like that.
I told him I'm bored - yes, AGAIN!!!
Funny how I could be bored when I just came from my beach break... It's just that everything seems to be becoming so monotonous... So mundane... Ordinary...
And I guess one of my worst fear is to be such...
Funny when you think about it coz mundane and ordinary is synonymous to Normal...
So I guess I fear most to be normal!
The irony of Life...
He asked if I was ok... How ok is ok? Am i ok?
I guess I am.
I mean I am.
I really am.

Work's fine... Really.
Though I wish things could be better, like everybody else. Otherwise, it's fine.

Friends are fine...
In Life we meet a lot of people.
You either like them or you don't...
I have very few poeple that I consider friends.
The rest I consider as acquaintances.
I miss my old friends... I'm too sentimental really.

The Love life is in fact quite colorful even. =)
Though I have realized that everytime I face a situation where I know it could lead to a "relationship", I tend to take ten (a hundred?) steps backward... Admittedly it has become a sort of defence mechanism as a colleague friend of mine has described it...
Take this one incident: There's this guy that I was "seeing" late last year. He's nice. We got along well. He makes me laugh. And best thing of all was he made me feel extra special. Admittedly now, we were practically a couple. Hell we were acting and doing stuff that couples do. But it was never really formalized. And I didn't consider him as a boyfriend... But when he did verbalize the "relationship" thing with us - I freaked out. I hyperventilated! So of course that was that. =) Some say I was harsh, even cold...
Am I?
Right now, there's this one guy that I recently just hooked up with... I barely know anything about him really... Yet there's something about him that has quite intrigued me... He's not as predictable like most men are, and I think that's what's gripping me... I'm just waiting for the defence wall to come up! =) I know it's bound to turn up anytime soon... Or maybe I should just take this plunge? We'll see...

Hay....

: : Summer Time : :

It's Summer!!! Sun is shining on endless sunny days... Cool hot nights... *wink* Warm breeze to soothe our sun-kissed skin... Bob Marley in the background... Perfect... Best time to hit the Beaches! But then again if you're like me, any time is a good time to hit the beach. I'm really usually more of a nocturnal lover, but come summer time I transform into a sun worshipper... I LOVE SUMMER! I can't wait to spend time in the beach to just laze around and do nothing... I swear I must've been a beach bum, a mermaid, or probably a fish in a previous lifetime coz I just can't seem to get enough of the Beach... Not to mention that I was born under the sign of the Fish... I guess you can say that I'm on a natural high right now.

Just recently spent my entire holy week in the beaches of Puerto Galera with my constant partner in crime these days - Pia! We spent 4 days and 3 night in Galera... It was awesome as usual... I had a BLAST! And a great tan line(I'm still glowingly well tanned)! Hehe In fact I'm still feeling the after effects and still high with the experience...

First thing that we did was to get our henna tattoo. I had mine on my lower back, it looked great with my bikinis. =) We spent the entire afternoon just lazing around on the beach. Just lyin around under the sun, chit chatting, swam... Totally relaxing... Later on in the night, we had dinner by the beach and started off the night in this Reggae Bar called Coco Aroma. I actually discovered this bar in my last trip here just Last January. It's a nice place where you can listen and jam with great (& some that are not too great) local artists. Or to put it simply, it's the perfect setting to get really drunk. Haha =) Think about it : Reggae + Alcohol + Beach + Moon = God Awful Hangover in the Morning. After the first set, we went walking around and checked out the SMB Concert - it was wildness indeed! The boys had a ball with the ladies in action on stage.


(to be continued...)