... Anthem? ...

I think I'll take this as my anthem for 2006!
:)

Your Summer Anthem is Don't Cha by The Pussycat Dolls

"Don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me? Don't cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me? Don't cha wish your girlfriend was raw like me? Don't cha wish your girlfriend was fun like me?" Your summer forecast: freaky and full of drama!

What's Your 2005 Summer Anthem?

... Which superhero are you? ...

I still remember the first time I watched Supergirl on Betamax... I watched it over & over again until my Nanay told me to stop. I was about 5 years old...
I was mesmerized by it all... I wanted to be Supergirl. Hell I thought I was Supergirl!
After watching the movie, I remember I was playing upstairs in my Lola's old house... I grabbed a red bedsheet & placed it over my shoulders, this was to be my red cape. Then I went by the staircase, I think my Lola's old house had a good 12steps in her staircase, & then I did what Supergirl would do - I jumped & flew.
I was flying...
At least I did for a couple of seconds. Then I landed flat on my bum, and that was the end of my illusion of being Supergirl.

Until now... I just took a Superhero Test, yes, I'm that bored right now... And the results show that I am Supergirl. :)
I guess I was always a Supergirl after all... We all are.

Your results:
You are Supergirl

Supergirl 85% Iron Man 75% Green Lantern 70% Wonder Woman 65% Hulk 65% The Flash 55% Robin 52% Superman 50% Spider-Man 50% Batman 30% Catwoman 30%

Lean, muscular and feminine.
Honest and a defender of the innocent.



Click here to take the Superhero Personality Quiz

... 28DEC06 ...

Just spilling some blurbs...

• Spent Christmas Eve working... Terribly sad!!! Went straight home to Laguna to be with Family soon as my shift was over. That was comforting... Spent Christmas day with Family - a quiet day really, but soothing for me. Ate a lot! It's a great feeling to know that however things are with my life, wether good or bad, I'll always have my family to come home to no matter what. No matter how crazy my Family may seem :), and they really are (hehe) - I love 'em all. It was a happy Christmas... Miss my Nanay though...
• As I was about to rush home from my graveyard shift today (it's a Wednesday which means coding day for the "green-mean-machine") well, green-meany won't start! Wanted to cry... (been too emotional lately... it's the holiday blues coupled with what-nots) It was almost 7am and I just knew my car's gonna get towed... So had to ask the guards to "push" me so that I could park in Dela Rosa. Pfft! :( At this point I was really feeling so down already that I just wanted to sit by the curb & just bawl my eyes out... But Ate Pat came to my rescue & brought some wise men from the basement & they helped me out - they had to "push" the green-meany again & voila! Engine started! Thank God! Gotta get my battery checked though...
• And on another positive note, received the score standings today & found out that my Entourage Team + Top Models won first place from last Friday's Xmas Party!!! Whopee!!! Take that!!!! HMPH!!!! Was so happy!!! I thought the grand prize of 50points in the Top Model wouldn't be anything, but turns out that this helped a LOT to make our Team win & tie for the over-all Championship. All that hardwork definitely paid off!!! Emotional again... Grabe! It's the first time that such a competition was done in the Bank & I really don't know how my name was brought up & I was assigned as The Stylist (naks!). But whatdya know, I actually have some sense in Style then! hehe. At least now I have a career alternative to take into account just in case... Just in case!
• I am so sick of her pretending to be nice. Seriously. Magpakatotoo ka kaya. Get real! Coz I know otherwise. But I do not want to waste any more of my time on such nonsense. I've had enough of it all.
• Was finally able to wrap most of my gifts today... I know - only now! Only to realize that I still have to get some more gifts for some people... Whew! I promise to complete my holiday gift shopping before the year ends - which is just this week!
• I really miss my Nanay...
• I'm eating too much chocolates.
• I miss being my usual Me... Gotta get her back...

... It's Christmas once again ...

hohum...
yet another Christmas...
hmmm...
Been so busy lately (thankfully...), that I haven't had the chance to stop & "feel" Christmasy like I would usually do... And now it's Christmas Eve already... Oh well...
Will make it up next year...

~ * Happy Christmas to us all!!! * ~

Listening to: Miss you most (at Christmas time) by Mariah Carey

... let go ...

In the midst of my storm... i was lazily browsing thru and i happen to "click" on this article about "Letting go of Uncontrollables & Unchangeables"... Coincidence nga naman... Or Faith nudging you to be so... Here's the gist of it...

It's the admission of the obvious truth... that you are not responsible to affect a change or correct a problem which is beyond your competency, power, authority, or responsibility...

Releasing over-responsibility - giving permission to yourself to be free from an overresponsible sense of obligation, duty, or requirement to make everything "perfect'' in your life and the life of others....

No perfectionism - Allowing yourself to rid yourself of the perfectionistic need to control every aspect of your life so that nothing goes ``wrong'' in it.

Getting rational about what you can and cannot do - becoming realistic about what is and is not your obligation or duty to correct, change, or control.

Realistic acceptance of loss - after fully grieving a loss admitting that there is nothing left to be done but to accept the loss and hand the loss from this point on over to your Higher Power's care and love.

Surrender: Problem solving conclusion - culmination of extensive problem solving, brainstorming, and testing alternatives with the final conclusion that you can do nothing to change the circumstances of the issue out of your reach and control and that it would be saner and more realistic to free your energy up by surrendering and letting go of the issue and handing it over to your Higher Power.

*SIGH*
I'm just tired...
But I have made up my mind...
Waiting for the Numbness to pass... Or embracing it for comfort...

...change...

The only thing constant in Life is change...

Constant change... It's the one thing that we can be certain of as we travel through Life... The Certainty of Change... You can't stop it... You can't avoid it... It just happens... It just does... Learn to accept it...

The paradox of change... As always, there's an antithesis to this notion... In Religion class we are taught that we should be content... Yet still desire/welcome change...

2007 will definitely have some changes for Me... Be good or bad... or whatever... Change it is... And change it will be...

... just unloading my phone...

here are some good ones from dear Mody...

Life never gets tough if you can handle it better...
Cries won't be tears if you're not hurt...
Sadness won't mean anything unless you're down...
Anger will be nothing if apology comes right before...
Smiles mean nothing if it comes from the unknown...
A touch never says it cares unless you think so...
There are lots of things in life that have a different meaning of it's own, so if you feel like having a a duel with life --
Fight not because you're brave, but because you're a coward who wanted to prove something...

so true...

"I trust you" is a better compliment than "I love you"...
You may not always trust the one you love, but you can always love the person you trust...

I especially like this one...

Take chances, take a lot of them. Because honestly, no matter where you end up and with whom, it always ends up just the way it should be.
Your mistakes make who you are... You learn to grow with each choice you make.
Everything is worth it. Say how you feel always.
Be you, and be okay with it.

BIG BIG BIG HUGE SIGH...

It never ceases to amaze me how Moms just "know" & sense stuff whenever anything is happening in their children's lives... Take my Mom for example, the timeliness of her text messages are unnervingly freaky...

Everyone is on their best beahvior in the beginning of a relationship.
Sometimes little quirks turn up to be big one, but women have one big advantage - intuition.
So never ignore you're intuition my darling...

Yes Mom, I won't...

... *blank* ...

I really don't know anymore either...
I think I need professional help... :-) seriously...
this is ALL totally against anything...

:-(

... October Madness ...

Butterflies in my stomach...
Kilig moments...
Nonsensical text messages that makes my day...
I'm so happy...
Too happy that it's scaring the hell out of me...

This is so not like Me...

How can something so right feels so wrong at the same time?

:: bored ::

i'm bored...
nothing better to do...
and guess what i found for me to do...



i'm bored...

: : Milenyo : :

A signal #3 storm is lashing outside with a vengeance... And I'm stuck inside the office, yes I'm at work... And the scene outside my window, is a scary sight to behold... I've never seen Ayala in such um - "natural disarray"... Wind is howling mad... Rain is really lashing it all out there... Trees are falling, & all sort of glass & metals from building are flying everywhere... Scary... I think I'm gonna cry... Damn...

I can't even drive out for fear that something might fall on me or something of the sort...And it doesn't help that I just checked out the news and it says "Falling billboard kills driver!"

So I am going to eat... Binge more like it... The cafeteria downstairs is miraculously still open and I bought FOOD - closest to home cooked meal as I can get that is. I had hacao, spicy squid, rice, & a nice slice of marjolaine... If this was gonna be my last meal might as well go all out eh? Yes, I'm morbid like this.

I think the rain is not that bad anymore...

... boy problems ...

I have two dear girlfriends in a dilemma… Haay! Talk about boy problems…

+ If only men (specifically those we actually like!) were not so unbelievably stupid… But then again, it wouldn’t be much fun if they weren’t so… I guess there is a reason why they are how they are… Taking their stupidity out of them will take out the challenge in them… Harhar

+ Why do we always fall for such losers? We have our ideology on how Mr. Right should be, but then in the end, we still fall for the one who we thought we’ll never even look at from the start! We always choose the bad guy over the good guy… The difficult one over the easy one… The complicated over the blatantly simple… Why?! Because the thrill of the challenge and even the forbidden is incomparable… Living on the edge… Exciting! Dangerous… AND worst of all, deep down inside of us, we hope & even pray that we could be the one to change them from Bad guy to good guy - to our “ideal” Mr. Right…

+ They hurt you & scar you in ways you never thought they could… But they do. It changes you forever. Jaded is how some describe you. Perhaps. Letting go is easier said than done. Yet with all their “stupidity”, how come they’re able to bounce back faster than you can? Breathe & let go… It’s never fair, nobody said anything that it would be otherwise. So what do you do? You live with it. Breathe & let go… Breathe…

It’s raining again…

... my pinky ...

this is what boredom does to you... :-) Hehe

... a series of blurbs ...

+ I'm currently hooked & in love with the scent of Bath & Body Work's Warm Vanilla Sugar... Yummylicious! A friend of mine gave me a Bubble Bath with this scent & I can't get enough of it... I love it! Can somebody give me the whole bath/lotion/body spray set? Pretty please? This will definitely go on my Xmas wish list... :-)

+ In most cases, you know you're just wasting your time when you give advice to those who ask for one on how or what to do over something... It's a waste of time because you know they already know what it is they should do. They know, but refuse to do so... Instead, they ask for your advice. But what they want/hope to hear from you is the exact opposite of what they know they should do. They're not asking for an advice, but more like looking for an excuse! An excuse to prolong the state of their predicament so that they can delay what it is they know they should do already. Because whatever this situation they're in, they know they shouldn't be in it in the very first place... But eventhough you know they're not exactly asking for an advice, you still give them an attempt for an advice... Why? Because you've been there and you know how it is... I know, Doc. *sigh*

+ I have a headache... A culmination of hang over(lotsa them), much boredom, & those that need not be mentioned leads to this... *pfft!* I think too much.

+ Information leads to knowledge... Knowledge is power they say... So knowledge empowers you... But too much information, can overpower you? Stifling...

+ I came upon this on the papers a while ago, it's an advice collumn about this married man and his philandering ways... And this psychologist is giving an advice to the woman that this man is married to... The title of the article is she forgives, but can she forget?

Men have usually short memories and your husband might have already forgotten that affair with your friend as he dried himself up after his shower. Most of them have absolutely no scruples and an affair is sometimes nothing but a tennis match or a walk in the park.
It is, of course, the complete opposite for us women—we mope, agonize, sulk and carry love affairs like they are sacks of rice.
Every time you put on a happy face for your friends, believe that you really are happy—happy that you’ve gone over another hump in your 30-year marriage and happy that, despite everything, he is still there as part of your one family.
If, despite everything, you still feel wounded and terribly suspicious of your husband, then ask yourself if you’d be happier being alone and separated, and without him in your life forever.
Life is short. Take your pick.

Hmmm... *Sigh* True...
Life is indeed too short... Take your pick...

+ Now I really have a headache... :-)

Currently feeling... Empty. & Bored.

... the beach ...

my sister found the long lost VCD of one of my favorite movie the other day - The Beach... :-) I love getting lost in that movie...

Never refuse an invitation...
Never resist the unfamiliar...
Never fail to be polite...
But never outstay your welcome...
Just keep your mind open and suck in the experience...
And if it hurts -- it's probably worth it!

~0~

When you develop an infatuation for someone
You always find a reason to believe that this is exactly the person for you...
It doesn't need to be a good reason...
Now in the long run, that's just the kind of dumb irritating habit that will cause you to split up...
But that haze of infatuation, is just the kind of thing that you've been looking for all these years...

~0~

Desire is Desire wherever you go...
The Sun will not bleach it...
Nor the tide wash it away...

~0~

I still believe in Paradise...
At least I know it's not some place you can look for
This is not where you go...
It's how you feel for a moment in your Life when you're part of something...
And when you find that moment, it lasts forever...

Listening to: Beautiful Things by Andain/DJ Tiesto

...unloading...

My head is buzzing with so many thoughts right now... I wish I have a Pensieve, you know, like Professor Dumbledore's. Just so I can unload my thoughts and maybe have a clearer & lighter mind perhaps? Or maybe I'm just suffering still from a hangover... Tough!

+ "Hold yourself responsible to a higher standard than anybody else expects of you; never excuse yourself." -- Henry Ward Beecher (from Eds)

I'm decluttering my phone, so gagayahin ko si Paul...

+ Sad? Here's a bit of bitter but sweet truth... Someday, someone will walk into your life, and he will make you realize why it never worked out with anyone else... -Sol

+ What Oprah says about Men: If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't, nothing can make him stay. Never let him know everything, he will use it against you later. He is a man, nothing more, nothing less... You should never look for someone to complete you. A relationship consists of two whole individuals... Make him miss you sometimes, when a man always know where you are & know that you're readily available, he will take you for granted... -Sol. (yes, she texted ALL of this!)

+ we grow old & suddenly we want to hurry things up... Don't commit when you're not ready. Don't keep others waiting endlessly... To fulfill your parenting fantasies, get a puppy. Don't bring another life into this world for all the wrong reasons. To keep yourself warm, buy a jacket. In the long run, it will be less complicated & less costly. Take care of yourself. Don't wait for someone to take care of you... No one completes you except you... -Sol (yet again!)

+ "Each of us has a calling that's as unique as a fingerprint - and the best way to succeed is to discover what you love and then find a way to offer it to others in the form of service, working hard, and also allowing the energy of the universe to leade you..." - Oprah (from Pia)

+ Making a thousand friends a year is not a miracle. The miracle is to make a friend who stands by you for one thousand years... -Mike

+ Never feel shame for trying and failing for he who has never failed is he who has never tried... -Paul

BUZZZZZZZZZZZZ...

I did have a good weekend though. Though I partied a lot...



I still managed to get enough rest - slept for 9 hours!
And even had a productive day at work...
Nice!

Song of the Moment: Never... (past tense) By Tina Arena

...raining yet again...

* So yes, it is raining yet again! I still don't like the rain. And I'm still in a sentimental mood... Damn! But I'm much better at it, thank you... Another thing that's bad about the rainy weather, is that it makes you lazier than your usual lazy self. Since it started raining, I haven't been going to boxing as often as I planned to. So now I've gained back the 5 pounds that I lost...

* Soon as I had my car washed, rain has been pouring non-stop. I didn't have it washed until I couldn't bear it anymore. It looked like mud in wheels that I just had to have it washed... Also, at that time, the weather sort of cleared up, so I thought, the timing is just right. NOT!!! I guess you just never really know... The sun can be out shining and the sky all clear in one minute, and then the next thing you know it's raining hippos & elephants! Such is life.

* It was quite a weekened! Started out with the company party on Friday night. Hey our Team won an award! Pretty impressive I must say... As I've said before, it was a night to remember... At least bits and pieces of it and as much as my memory can permit me... Lots of eating and drinking, but basically more of the drinking of course. Afterwards we headed off to Embassy for more drinking... Etcetera... What-nots... Had work the next day and a baptism to go...
I'm a godmother yet again to Azenneth's darling lil Ashton. Such a sweety! Had on my swirly back dress, and felt super girly in it, then my mood was ruined when rain poured on us and just drenched us all! It's ok though, still felt girly. :-) After a delicious all-you-can-eat buffet, I finally went home and slept!!!! Bliss... But I woke up at almost mid-night and headed over at Nash's place for the usual beer guzzling affair... More drinking again, when I can still feel the remnants of my alcohol intake from the night before... Damn... Come Sunday, I didn't wake up until it was 3pm! And to cap off my weekend, I had an early dinner with lil sis at Pizza Hut - alcohol free!!!

* I feel like an Energizer bunny, I just keep on going and going and going... Somebody once told me, "Please say you're tired for a change!!!" I guess I do... I tend to push things to the limit... Somebody better tell me when I've reached the limit though. But then that's another hard part because I'm told that I could be very stubborn...

* A friend of mine told me that I think too much. How can one person think too much? Funny he said that, because I rememeber my Mom always reminding to THINK first before doing anything. And you know moms always knows best. And you know what, my mom is right, I should think FIRST before doing anything, and NOT the other way around.

Current mood: confused
Current song: Doing Too Much (by Paula Deanda)

...mushy rainy monday...

So it's raining yet again...
I hate rain. It brings out the sentimental being in me.
And as I turn on the radio... Lo and behold, their topic for the night is "your favorite break-up songs, etc". It made me laugh. Nice! Seriously...

What songs do you listen to when you want to deal with a break-up or some fall-out of some sort? And what do you do to surpass such things?

Pretty interesting topic I must say. Let's see... Since it's already raining, and the mushiness inside me is creeping out slowly, I might as well delve in the soppy mood and well, wallow in it. Yes why not. :-) Besides, I don't have any plans for the night... By choice!
Top Songs to wallow in (at random): Un-break my Heart(Toni Braxton), Dear Lie(TLC), Crave(Marc Dorsey), Broken Vow!(from OST Meteor Garden)... And the list could go on and on... Although I'm stumped with these at the moment...
Don't you hate it when you're in that god awful rut, when you actually feel the physical agony of your heart breaking (damnit I'm soppy tonight), and then you hear a song that just says it all for you... And then you can't do anything else but sing with the song ; full emote mode of course, and at the same time cry your heart out at the same time, as if ikaw yung nasa video nung kanta!!! Oh wag na magpa-kipot, aminin!!! Bwisit di ba? And then, as if the ordeal wasn't enough for you, you hit the back button (or repeat mode)and you play the song over and over and over and over again... making yourself go through, even re-live the pain of your break-up/fall-out whatever... *sigh* such sweet sorrow... oh the pain!!!
Another bad thing is when you "will" the phone to ring, and you hope - with all your hope, and pray to all the Gods and Saints that you can remember that it's that Mr. Somebody! Hoping that perhaps he could say something that can make everything better or something of the sort... You linger by the phone... You hold your mobile at all times, and you jump at every beep, and be put in misery when it doesn't... Shit!
One time I tried to fool myself that perhaps if I put my mobile on silent mode, (note that I've already "tried to fool myself"!) this way I thought I can pretend to be not expecting anything when in reality I'm anxiously awaiting even just a twitch from my damn mobile. What a lunatic... Turns out, I checked my mobile even more than I usually do. hehe :-p
Goodness!!! The things that you go through with such -ish!!!
From my high school days when we break up to make up and make up to break up... And the complex story of my so-called love(?) life now... Ay caramba!!!
How did it all become so complicated???
:-)
But I have to say... I wouldn't trade it all for anything... Good times man... Some painful memories, yes, but good nonetheless still...
Enough for now.
-FIN-

... blahs ...

+ nothing seems to be making sense lately... yet it actually makes sense that it's not making sense...

* I'm hating my job at the moment. I feel like I'm on a boat/ship that's about to catapult because there's no defined captain!!! I see no directions whatsoever as to where the Team is heading, and nobody can seem to make any decision on their own without consulting somebody - specifically Me. I think it's about time that they know know how the game is played... *pfft!*

+

the very essence of romance is uncertainty...

(The Importance of being Earnest) *wink* I love that line... but hate going through it...

* Had another verbal sparring with lil sis... Drama galore! Emotionally draining... Hate that when that happens... But of course the tough sister act has to stay...

+ I'm no French fan when it comes to football, but what the hell happened to Zidane???

...funny stuff...

--nung ikaw ay bata... nagawa mo ba to?--

*kumakain ka ba ng aratilis?

*nagpipitpit ng gumamela para gawing soapy bubbles na hihipan mo sa binilog na tanggkay ng walis tingting?

*pinipilit ka ba matulog ng nanay mo pag hapon at di ka papayagan maglaro pag di ka natulog?

*marunong ka magpatintero, saksak puso, langit-lupa, teleber-teleber, luksong tinik?

*malupit ka pag meron kang atari, family computer or nes?

*alam mo ang silbi ng up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, a, b, a, b, start?

*may mga damit ka na U.S.E.D., Boy London, Cross Colors, Esprit, Blowing Bubbles at pag nakakakita ka ng Bench na damit eh naalala mo si Richard Gomez?

*addict ka sa rainbow brite, carebears, my little pony,thundercats, bioman, voltes v, mazinger z, daimos, he-man at marami pang cartoons na hindi pa translated sa tagalog?

*nanonood ka ng shaider kasi nabobosohan mo si annie at type na type mo ang puting panty nya?

*marunong ka mag wordstar at nakahawak ka na talaga ng 5.25 na floppy disk?

*inaabangan mo lagi ang batibot at akala mo magkakatuluyan si kuya bodgie at ate sienna...nung high school ka inaabangan mo lagi beverly
hills 90210?

*gumagam it ka ng AQUANET para pataasin ang bangs mo?

*meron kang blouse na may padding kung babae ka at meron kang sapatos na mighty kid kung lalake ka?

*nangongolekta ka ng paper stationaries at mahilig ka magpa pirma sa slumbook mo para lang malaman mo kung sino ang crush ng type mo?

*kilala mo si manang bola at ang sitsiritsit girls? e si luning-ning at luging-ging?

*alam mo ibig sabihin ng time space warp at di mo makakalimutan ang
time space warp chant?

*idol mo si McGyver at nanonood ka ng Perfect Strangers?

*eto malupet... six digits lang ba ang phone number nyo dati?

*nakakatawag ka pa sa pay phone ng 3 bentesingko lang ang dala?

*cute pa si aiza seguerra sa eat bulaga at alam mo ang song na "eh kasi bata"?

*inabutan mo ba na ang Magnolia Chocolait eh nasa glass bottle pa na ginagawang lalagyan ng tubig ng nanay mo sa ref?

*meron kang pencil case na maraming compartments na pinagyayabang mo sa mga kaklase mo?

*noon mo pa hinahanap kung saan ang Goya Fun Factory?

*alam mo lyrics ng "tinapang bangus" at
"alagang-alaga namin si puti"?

*alam mo ang kantang "gloria labandera".. lumusong sha sa tubig ang paa ay nabasa at ang "1, 2, 3, asawa ni marie"... hehehehehe?

*sosyal ka pag may play-doh ka at Lego... at
nag-iipon ka ng G.I. Joe action figures at iba pa ang mukha ni barbie noon?

*inabutan mo pa yung singkong korteng bulaklak at yung diyes na square?

*lumaki kang bobo dahil ang akala mo nangangagat talaga ang alimango sa kantang tong-tong-tong...diba naninipit yun?

*alam mo yung kwento ng pari na binigyan ng pera yung batang umakyat ng puno para bumili ng panty... and shempre, alam mo rin ba kung ano
binigay nya sa nanay nung umakyat ng puno?

*meron kang kabisadong kanta ni andrew e na alam mo hanggang ngayon.. aminin?

*laging lampin ang sinasapin sa likod mo pag pinapawisan ka?

*bumibili ka ng tarzan, texas at bazooka bubble gum... tira-tira, at yung kending bilog na sinawsaw sa asukal?

*takot ka dumating ang year 1999 dahil sabi nla magugunaw daw ang mundo?

KUNG ALAM MO LAHAT DITO LAGPAS KA NA NG 25 YEARS
OLD... KAPAG HALOS LAHAT ALAM MO, NASA 23-25 KA...

WAG KA NA MAG DENY.. TUMAWA KA NA LANG... DIBA .75
CENTAVOS PA LANG PAMASAHE SA JEEP NUN AT MAS
MASARAP ANG MELLOW YELLOW KESA MOUNTAIN DEW? HAHAHAHA


~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~

Liar:
A man is dying of Cancer.
His son asked him, "Dad, why do u keep telling people u're
dying of AIDS?"
Answer: "So when I'm dead no one will dare touch ur mom!"

Three Feelings:
What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant, Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant, and Panic is when both are pregnant.

Chinese Adam & Eve:
If Adam and Eve were Chinese, we would still be in paradise
because they would have ignored the apple and eaten the snake !

~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~


YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2006 when...

1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.

2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.

6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.

7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.

8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.

10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.

11. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.

12. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.

13. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.

14. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list.

AND NOW YOU ARE LAUGHING at yourself.

Damnit!

I'm having a coronary...
France scored!!! Bugger...
I don't want them to win!
They've already beaten my Brazil!
Argh!!!
Grrr you Frenchmen!!!
Grrr....
huhu

Damnit!

I think I'm having a coronary... France scored man!!!! Damn the French!
I don't want them to win because they've already beaten my Brazil!!!
*breathe*

... Hello? Hello! Hello. ...

wala lang...

+ Like any other day, I answered the phone politely and said, "Company Name, Good afternoon..." The caller answered (in the chirpiest voice ever...), "Hi, good afternoon, this is Michelle from Company, sorry I dialled the wrong number! (I swear she must've been smiling as well) Goodbye!" BOING!!! HUH???? I was flummoxed... Had to give it to her for being so perky though.

+ I find it amazing that when users call to request for something, they have this tendency to assume that we would know what it is exactly that's on their mind... Details please? I didn't know mental telepathy was a requirement for my job... Hmmm...

+ This actually happened to a friend of mine some time ago... She called Globe to confirm if her global roaming was already activated in time for her Euro trip. The guy who answered sounded queer AND bitchy & goes, "INTERNATIONAL roaming you mean?" My friend was stumped, even incredulous, because she didn't know there was a difference between global & international roaming services - perhaps they also offer inter-galactic as well! By golly... But anyway, bitchy gay guy confirms that the service has been activated and even offered to inform my friend about the rates for France (take note that my friend did not ask for this info, and we do not know why he picked France). But my friend in turn informed him that she'll be visiting several countries & she has enumerated them in the application form... He asked for the countries, and he cut my friend when she mentioned Amsterdam and he goes, "Oh Amsterdam! Where's that... Oh Turkey. Hold on let me check..." BOING!!! Kakaloka...

... nonsensical baubles ...

+ I just realized that I just acquired 3 pairs of shoes just for the month of May... a black closed-toe wedge espadrilles, a turquoise & black knot (open toe) wedge espadrilles, & a black ballerina-like / grecian-like ribboned WEDGE shoe(from I AM)... I guess you could say I'm in the mood for WEDGEs. :-)

+ To Bling or not Bling my gasgas phone? Hmm...

+ I bought my first set of boxing gloves the other day. Yes, I'm serious this time. Color? - Fire engine red! Bought them at Rockwell before going on graveyard shift... The sales lady gave me TWO sets of gloves, when I only paid for just a pair... I didn't realize that this was the case until I was already here in the office! Kakatamad kaya bumalik... So now, until I get the chance to return it, I have two pairs of boxing gloves... *phooey*

+ Finally found a pair of brown metallic Havaianas! I was so happy when I found a pair in my size... *babaw* I've looked all over for it! *SMILE* Apparently there's a new term now for this brand of flipflops, it's now called Havs among the young crowd. HAVS??? I hate it when they shorten names like that... Imagine hearing, "I'll be wearing my black havs tomorrow, how about you?" Like fer sherr... Wtf? I seriously can't stand it. Similar to Bora for Boracay. It's just one more syllable, surely it won't kill to say it. It irks me when I hear "Bora" + that conyo ewan twang. Whatev! Grrr... harhar :-)

+ I'm in love... I'm in love & lovin it... I'm hooked! Can't seem to get it out of my system... It's too sinful really but I can't help myself... I just gotta have it... Mrs Fields Double Dutch Brownie bar, or was it Rocky Road? Basta, it's sooo sinfully good. Coming in at second place at the moment is Beard Papa's cream puffs.. Yummylicious! Ahlavet! Now if only men were as easy to fall in love with like chocolates & Cream puffs... :-)

... boxing, & etc ...

+ Let's BOX! :) Just had my 3rd boxing session today. Boy do I hurt all over! But it's all good... No pain, no gain as they say right? I have to jog soon, just to loosen up the muscles and increase the resistance... I miss doing cardio.. Naks! I'm no longer enrolled in any gym so gotta find more ways to entertain myself. *hehe* Gym just wasn't doing "it" for me anymore... Got too lazy of the monotonous work out with the various contraptions that were all too familiarly boring... So it was a good thing Elorde opened up a branch nearby - boxing it is! Talk about sweating it all out man... Pwede mo nang pigain shirt ko after a session - dri-fit Nike na daw yun ha! Ahlavet! :)

+ I have to stop this nonsense man... Bloody hell... Pull yourself together... Damnit... Crazy fool... Come on... Focus! No. No. NO.

+ 'Heard the new Paris Hilton song? Stars are blind... It's quite catchy actually... But the idea of Paris Hilton singing... Not to mention her doing the video... Ok, I'm ambivalent towards the whole thing... *hehe*
> Even though the gods are crazy... Even though the stars are blind... *LOL*

+ I'm lovin the song & video Promiscuous by Nelly Furtado & Timabaland... Luv it! Makes me reminisce about the bubble sessions that we used to have every weekend in Georgetown... *grin* Those were The Days... Miss them... They definitely don't dance the way we used to dance back in those days... *hehe*

... Avecilla - Bueser Nuptials ...

>o< Best wishes to my dear friend Azenneth who got married over the weekend! >o<

(with Melissa, Brian, Azenneth (d bride), & Moi)

She's my best girl friend from grade school... She and I have had a love-hate relationship... As Paul would say it, we grow better with time... I remember hating her when she first entered Montessori back in 3rd Grade. I didn't like her because, well, I just didn't - and being the bully that I was back then, so did everybody else of course! But Azenneth was a tough cookie... When I actually got to talk with her, we clicked & became good friends, and then we were the inseperable tandem. And then something happened, nag-inarte na kame, some say it was Brian (come on! haha), and we stopped talking to each other...
(hehe) Ten years passed (yes 10!), and we saw each other again at a school reunion and it was as if the 10 years didn't happen. They say forgive & forget, but in our case, we've simply forgotten about what it was that we were supposed to be angry with or forgive about!!! All we could remember were the good times that we had, and that in the end is what matters... Funny how we used to attend each other's bday parties, and now I''ve attended her wedding party & was even part of the entourage... *teary eyed*
It was a lovely wedding... Beautiful church... The bride was simply fabulous... Nice...
I'm happy for her & Andrew, & their baby boy Ashton. I'm glad that she has met & found someone that can finally hold her down! And I mean that in a good way. Love yah Tetet!!! Cheers for the Good times! And 'hope I'll still be part of the entourage on your golden anniversary! Mmwah!

And now, let me be in a "i-think-i-wanna-have-a-boyfriend-coz-i-don't-want-to-be-an-old-maid" mood please... harhar

... The Omen ...

+ Watched "The Omen" with the boys + biatch last night. Nobody didn't want to sit next to me for fear of getting whacked, or having their ear drums broken, or getting food & drinks all over them. *grin*
I sometimes have this reflex action to strike the person next to me when I'm startled, they usually just get in the way when my hand shoots up - Oops. Nothing personal really. And I sometimes squeak - ok I scream quite out loud when surprised... And I also tend to throw whatever it is I have in my hands when stunned. So given the fact that I had a jumbo strawberry kiwi daquiri in hand - well, it wasn't a good omen.. In the end I was seated in between two scaredy boys, most likely they were feeling so because they were in Lacoste & not about the movie! *hehe*

+ The movie was fairly ok, a bit boring & maybe even a bit drawn out if you expected more considering it's hype - 060606=666... anti-christ and all things evil... It had a bit of startling points for me but not as much as I expected. I only had one spilt moment, two whackings, and about 2 minute screams! Ha! So it was just ok... Our post mortem of the movie didn't do so well either.
Dapat ganito ganito yung nangyari... Dapat ginawa niya ganito... Di dapat ganun, ganito na lang sana... Kung ginawa nila yun, ganito sana! Haay... Wala nang series kung kami nasunod di ba?!

Haaay...

: : sigh... : :

I'm in a pensive mood...
*sigh*

: : schwing schwing : :

*schwing*
Chicane's concert was da bomb!
Actually... It was crappy at first to be honest.. But the company that I was with was all too happy that we just didn't really care - we still had a ball! While the band played like Side A, me & a friend of mine were listening to Tiesto on her mobile! *hehe* We wanted upbeat!!! And I think so did everybody else... But we all went crazy when they played Not an Ordinary Morning... Funny coz before going to World Trade, I was thinking about how in the world are we all gonna dance to that tune... We figured they wouldn't play it coz it was too slow like...
W R O N G ! !
Guess they knew it was going to be otherwise!!!
Then goes Love on the Run... Stoned in Love... Haaay...
*schwing*
Funny... But the song that got stuck in my mind was from Kaskade - It's you It's Me...
*schwing*
:-) Saturday

:-D Sunday

:-I Monday

? Tuesday
*schwing*
I feel so...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Empty...

: : Chicane it is! : :

I have a headache...
Ok so I've finally decided on going to Chicane... It better be good!!! :-) I'm excited. *grin*
Galera can wait...

: : conflicting conflicts : :

Conflict... A clash...

Case 1: Miscaluculated about the date for Chicane's concert! Realized that it's on Saturday night, NOT Friday night as we thought earlier... This brings us to a conflict... Should we go to Puerto Galera for our Part II edition? or Chicane? Decisions, decisions! I would love to go to the beach! Of course I would. The Sun, Sea... But it's Chicane... And that means party time... What's a girl to do?
But then, we can always plan for another beach getaway... We can always go to the beach at any time... On the other hand, Chicane doesn't happen all the time... I've never been in any of Chicane's concert before... Clash!
Hassle...

Conflict...

Case 2: When two ideas collide, a state of disharmony occurs... Incompatible persons with opposing ideas? Inevitable conflict surely. Even worse if that person has no idea of what his true interests are... It would be like arguing with a wall.
Conflict of interest they say.
But who's interest is in conflict with who?!?
Is it my interest or yours?!? -Huh?!
Most likely one is protecting one's own. (but of course!) It's a case of saving one's own ass. Isn't it always?
Sadly for me, I'm not much in any position to argue. And it's my ass down the line... That went down the line actually.
But I won't let this affect ME.
So be it.
It will be a struggle that's for sure. But I'm a trooper...

I'm upset.
I'm angry.
Damnit!

: : in tagalog : :

... Bakit nga naman may ibang Pilipino, ayaw na ayaw mag-Tagalog.
Para bang kinakahiya nilang gamitin ang sarili nilang wika. Samantalang, pumunta ka sa ibang bansa, at makikita mo na proud silang gamitin ang sarili nilang linggo. Dito sa Maynila, masmarami gugustuhin nilang magsalita sa Ingles kesa sa Tagalog.
Ako isa na ako dun, pero dahil minsan I feel that I can express myself more using English, (Cut me some slack, I wasn't able to apply the language for 6 years...) it's a shame and it's a sad thing for me but I try! Anyway...
May iba, kaya lang ayaw mag-Tagalog, kasi nagpapaka-sosyal. Gamit Taglish! Grrr... Ayaw na ayaw kong makakarinig ng ganito!Ang labo! Masnakakahiya kaya kung ganito ang gamit na salita. Kung hindi mo kayang magsalita ng tuwid at derecho na Ingles, mag-tagalog ka na lang kasi. Hmph!

... Isa sa mga binabasa ko ay ang libro ni Bob Ong: Stainless Longganisa. Kakatawa! Such a contrast to the other book that I'm reading: The Historian by Elizabeth Kostova! I've been reading this book for the longest time now... It's about vampires. I think I never really got over my I-wanna-be-a-vampire stage from the time of my devouring Anne Rice's novels... Anyway... Then I just heard a localized version of System of Down's Chopsuey in Tagalog!!! I can't remember who sang the song but it's pretty good! Hilarious - but really good! :-)

... I hope the weather changes soon. I really do NOT like this weather...

: : Da Vinci Code : :

i just heard that the movie was given a rated R...
unbeleivable...
while in other countries where it is also mostly Roman Catholics, the movie has been classified as appropriate for children...
sayang...
it's just a movie based on a fictional book. Why be scared with it's premise? Surely if one's faith is strong (strong enough?), then there's really nothing to worry about. One's faith should not even be tested with such things surely... And I'm not even religious!
Hmm...

I remember writing about the book & etc ...
Of Coincidence & Christianity
:-) I miss being passionate over something to write about...

: : just another tuesday night : :

just went to the gym so I'm still on a natural high *smile*
"endorphins make you happy!"
was chatting with my sis the other day about her adventures with the kids where she's having her OJT and she had me cracking up! kids say the darnest things I tell yah...
case 1: it's cook out time with the kids! teacher tells the kids (tots ages 2-3 yrs old) that they will be cooking! she holds up a can of corned beef and asks the class to guess what they will be cooking! the kiddies reply "corned beef"! but no wait, cutest lil boy wonder shouts CHICKEN! "I want chicken!", he gleams. Teacher tells cutey boy "No honey, we'll be cooking corned beef today". Cutey boy replies, "Ok, but I want chicken!" with the the cutest lil smile ever... The class proceeds to cook the corned beef, serve the food, sit, & enjoy their cooked meal. Cutey boy raises his hand and calls the teacher, "Waiter! I don't like this, could you take it out please. I want CHICKEN!". Teacher approaches cutey boy and tells him "Sorry dear, but remember Teacher is not a waiter." Cutey boy replies, "Ok! Teacher Waiter, could you get me a chicken?" HAHA :-) di nga naman cya waiter, pero pwede naman na maging teacher AT waiter ah...
Cutey boy proceeds to eat the corned beef. When the class ended and he saw his yaya, he tells her, "Yaya I want chicken!" Gusto nga naman kasi nga niya ng chicken eh! hehe
Kids are so adorable. I want one. haha :-)

: : here comes the Storm : :

I spoke too soon about Summer... The rainy season just started...
:-( *i don't like the rain*
And it all literally starts with a storm!!! *sigh*

Amazingly though, I woke up early today in spite of the cold, rainy, windy weather... Or maybe because there was a power outage & i was feeling hot. Most likely the latter... Anyway, it was good coz I was able to spend some quality time with lil sis - we had breakfast at Jollibee! Their chicken tocino rocks! hehe *babaw*
Then I finally went to the gym after almost a month of laziness! Haay... I tried to work out a sweat but it was too cold... Oh, and while the winds were howling outside, I was watching "The Perfect Storm" while running on the thread mill... How apt eh?
I'm now at work and it looks gloomy outside...
But I'm feeling all warm & fuzzy inside, thanks to Alan's treat of caramel macchiato & belgian waffle(with strawberries of course!). hihi

~o~o~o~

Current song of the Moment: No Ordinary Morning by Chicane
I luv it... It's actually a sad song...
It was truly not an ordinary morning then...
Enough!

My #2 song of the moment is It's You It's Me by Kaskade. Love the lyrics:
You never know who's waiting for you
You never know when love is coming your way
But if tonight I look again into your eyes
And it's you and it's me you love
And it's you and it's me you love
*sigh*
'Wish He would leave me alone...
Or do I?
*pfft!*
whatever...

I really don't like the rainy weather... It brings out the mushiness in me.
Won't you agree? :-)

: : puerto galera - april 2006 : :

Whatdya get when you plan an impromptu trip to Puerto Galera with two hot gals & 3 guys; all of whom happen to be alocoholics & party animals(at heart)???
Answer:-> An adventure trip ala amazing race & Wild on E! (G! - galera baby!) hehe

Want pics?


Make the most of the Summer!!!

: : potipot : :

Check out our adventure/discovery trip to Potipot Island! -->



NICE!!!!
Luv the place!
Wanna go back...

: : hmph mood : :

It's HMPH mood, not HUMP mood silly...
I need to see the beach...
I am going to rant & rage now...

I'm too grouchy lately. Admittedly I have my normal grouchiness, but this week, even I noticed that it's just way over my normal dosage... *sigh* Too many upsetting things around me... Shit happens yeah? And then they say it always comes in three?! Well I think I've had my fair share for this week... Good thing it's Friday na! When it rains in Mari Land, it pours and soaks ME to the bone. F*%#%!
I am in pain for a dear friend... I hate the fact that she's going thru such an ordeal & there's not a single damn thing that I can do for her... I can't even think of anything coherent enough to say to her! And I usually make sense!(well most of the time that is...) I'm just at a blah right now... I also hate the fact that there are guys that are really so hateful and get away with their kind of crap! Unbelievable! But it does happen. And they continue to thrive. They have a whole kingdom unto themselves! Hell I happen to have the misfortune to even know & dealt with some of them. There's definitely one who tops the chart right now. Such is life eh?
Then comes the issue of so called friendship. *BIG SIGH* You think you know, but you just never do. You take the risk, and Faith slaps you in the face with Reality. Nice. Over-reacting? Perhaps I am. Maybe I am. But what's done is done. Makes me wonder what else... *BIGGER SIGH* Shit.
And then of course there's the bigger never ending issues called Family. *BIG BIGGER SIGH*
Or we can blame it all on the hormones of yours truly. Whatever.

But in spite of all of the above, there are still other aspects in my life that I am thankful for... (See I'm not that much of a pessimist, just a realist...)
For the gifts & pasalubongs that I received everyday this whole week! *smile* It's the thought that really counts. It really made me feel special in spite of it all... For the good chit chats with my sis, phone calls & conversations with dear friends... Made me feel that I am connected after all... And that somebody has my back no matter what...
Simple things... It may seem trivial... But I make them my own. And make them part of Me.
Ok, enough na. *smile* *SIGH*
Just breathe...

* Things to look forward to this weekend:
- I'm having dinner with the happy guys & gals later on tonight! Anytime is a good time to catch up.
- I'm going home to Laguna this weekend! Fresh air!
- It's my Lolo's 80th birthday bash! :-) There goes my diet... Good thing they'll be serving mostly pork dishes... Gotta stay away from the dessert table...
- I'm gonna take my Aunt shoe shopping in Liliw this weekend! And will make sure to stop by that fabulously quaint lil resto at the corner... Yum!
- Road trip to Taytay Falls, or anywhere with nice, old Spanish churches...
:-)
Just a few more days & I'm going to the BEACH!!! North side naman - Zambales. I need my beach fix - badly!
My travel partner tells me we're going here:

Ganda noh?
I can't wait!!!
Poof!
This is why I blog... It's my some sort of therapy. :-) Coz sometimes, paper (or in this case my pc) is more patient than man... (from the Dairy of Anne Frank)

: : found d song!!! : :

I finally know d name of the song that's been stuck in my head since Kaskade. hehe

Tada!!! -->

Naked & Sacred

wala lang...
I feel calm whenever I hear this song...

: : (en français) confiance : :

Il fait confiance une fois que cassé est difficile réparer... Triste mais lui est vrai... Je suis dérangé à ce qui s'est produit. Incroyable ! ! ! Mais ce qui est fait est fait. J'espère juste que les dommages ne sont pas celui étendu... Et qu'aucune autre information inutile n'a été divulguée à d'autres...

Ever heard/read anyone rant in French?
You just did.

: : * yawn * : :

i can't sleep... i'm stuck in the midst of sleeping, & wakefullness...
I'm tired - my body's aching, & my eyes are almost closing but my mind refuse to rest... restless, haunted me...
*yawn*
I have to start working out in the gym again. I really am getting chubby chubs... gotta get my act together if I wanna stay fit... Stupid of me to stop now when I have access to two gyms... lazy me...
*yawn*
Have to eat less rice... Avoid it if I can... But then again I don't really eat rice...
*yawn*
He's not even all that come to think of it... Let's not be bitchy.
*YAWN*
I'm sleepy...
*YAWN**YAWN**YAWN*
bonne nuit

: :hmm hmm again : :

* Can't seem to get this song out of my mind since Aris played it... But I don't really know the title of it. I'm terrrible with titles, artist names, album, and don't even count on me to sing it... But i know it's a bit of house & techno with the lyrics

"I wanna hold you naked... when I'm with you... since i met you... I wanna be good to you... something something..."

Anyway, it's a nice song... Damn what's the title?!?!? Hmmm hmmm...

* Was just doing a Sex and the City re-run, and here are some quotes that I just love:

Maybe some women aren't meant to be tamed. Maybe they're supposed to run wild until they find someone -- just as wild -- to run with.

There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous

I will not be the first one to speak. And if he never calls me again, I'll always think of him fondly. As an asshole.

When it comes to relationships, maybe we're all in glass houses, and shouldn't throw stones. Because you can never really know. Some people are settling down, some are settling and some people refuse to settle for anything less. Than butterflies...

When you're young, your whole life is about the pursuit of fun, then you grow up and learn to be cautious; you could break a bone, or a heart. You look before you leap and sometimes you don't leap at all because there's not always someone there to catch you. And in life, there is no safety net. When did it stop being fun and start being scary?

Maybe the past is like an anchor holding us back. Maybe, you have to let go of who you are to become who you will be.

And lastly, here's a quote for my Dr. Alco-Sol: hehe

Carrie: A fuck buddy is a guy you probably dated once or twice and it didn't really go anywhere, but the sex is so great you sort of... keep him on call.
Samantha: Ooo, he's like dial-a-dick!
Samantha: Carrie, you can't date your fuck buddy.
Carrie: Say it a little louder, I don't think the old lady in the last row heard you.
Samantha: You're going to take the only person in your life that's there purely for sex, no strings attached, and turn him into a human being? Why?

I'm evil, yes I know. :-) You still love me though!

: : just blogging : :

* Got this from a friend, fill this up for me will yah? Indulge my self-absorbed curiousity. -> Johari Window

* I'm bored... And I'm at work , yes my dear, even on a legal national holiday... Got nothing to do at all so I'm just here getting triple pay while I do nothing but surf... *hush*

* Thank God she's NOT!!! I can now breathe easily...

* The first time she saw him, she didn't think anything of him. The second time, still no reaction - yes he was cute, but that was it, so were the other guys. Then comes the challenge. Only then did she look twice & gave it a thought. But then after a time, the feeling of being challenged eventually wore off, then there was none. None at all. Just plain apathy. Another Mr. Right Now. So much for happy ending.

* Went to Kaskade last Wednesday! I like the open air setting - with the moon & stars & the gentle see breeze as your ambience (it wasn't stinky as I expected). Love the fireworks! But I must say, it wasn't all that as I expected, though it was pretty good to hear It's you It's Me, the crowd of course went crazy when he played it. The after-party was way WAY better... *wink*wink*

* I need a vacation. Nobody believes me when I tell them that I don't have any beach plans for this summer yet. Coz they know how much of a beach addict I am! Maybe I'll do Boracay this May - yes, maybe I will!!! Hey, that's enough time to work on the extra pounds... Damnit I gained 5 pounds!!! I'm a fat hippo now...

* Got my official PADI diver's ID yesterday!!! *yey!!!* now, I gotta plan my next dive trip...

: : secrets : :

everybody has secrets...
skeleton(s) in the closet... Whatever you may want to call it.
everybody has one...
Some secrets are better off left unsaid.
Some are unspeakable that we'll carry them to our graves... And then some that you wish you didn't know.
But there are some secrets that cannot be hidden for long... No matter how hard you try to keep it as one, it will still eventually come out. Too bad.
Just like reality, just when you think everything's going smoothly, where everything's fine & dandy, harsh reality has it's own way of creeping up on you and bite you in the ass when you least expect it. BOOM!
That's it.

I'm upset, happy, & sad at the current situation of a very dear friend of mine.
I'm upset coz this is happening. I can say "I told you so", and "You should've known better" & all that guilty talk of what could've/should've been. But what good will that do? None at all...
I'm happy coz it's a beautiful thing...
But I'm sad that it turned out this way...
Should've-would've-could've.
Just like what Dr Bailey said in Grey's Anatomy:

The stupidity of the human race, be thankful for that.

Coz sometimes, the most beautiful & brilliant things are results of this so called stupidty... We might not like the results, but it happens... Accept & Live with it.
It gets better.

: : Play my song... : :

Went out last night with 2 girlfriends of mine, our PimpMaster followed shortly after... :-) First stop was Rockwell where I bought a fab pair of white pants from Topshop! *yey!* Finally found the perfect white pants that flatters my behind. Wasn't planning on buying - it's Aris' fault! Hehe. We bought the same type of pants! Chilled at Mati's for some drinks, gorged on their yummy dip & pita bread, & of course a bit of catching up... So much chika!!! Whatd dya expect when you put three ladies in one table & beers aplenty - of course it's gossip time! Haha. Then when we had enough of talking, headed over to Embassy for some dancing! Great music - of course! *wink*wink* We're having a dry run for our night with Kaskade this Wednesday! It was a cool night of hangin out - nice fun.

I feel up & about although I hardly had any sleep last night. Not cranky. No hang over. Just fine. It's amazing what a single *kilig* phone call can do. *HUGE GRIN* I'm smiling just thinking about it. :-D Next time I won't flake. Can I just say that he looked real cute last night... Hehe

~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~

Sis & I are going home to the province later. I need to see my Lola, I miss her, and & feel bad that I haven't been able to see her as much as I want to... I guess I've been avoiding the prospect of going "home". They don't have to say it, but eversince what happened, I can feel their eyes on us, and I know they mean well, but they shouldn't feel sorry for what happened. It's all for the best really. There are just some things that are really not meant to be. It sucks, but that's Life. And we get along just fine... No drama.

~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~

I'm excited for Wednesday-Kaskade! Hehe. Yah know for sure it's gonna be a crazy night!!! Just the way we like it! :-D

: : To be or no to be... in a rut that is : :

Ever been stuck in a rut before? It's so easy to fall into one... To let yourself wallow & sink deeper & deeper into it... And damn is it hard to come OUT of it...

Case 1 of the endless: I haven't gone to the gym for almost 3 weeks! Even longer than that I think... Yes, definitely longer than 3 weeks... Anyway, I've been too lazy lately -obviously! I'd rather go home and just sleep. Or watch Grey's Anatomy (I am too addicted with this show!). Or just EAT... Or sleep... You get the picture. So thus the Fat Cow = Me right now... Anyway, I was FINALLY able to D*R*A*G myself to the gym last Tuesday, and I mean literally forcefully drag myself to the place... Poof! Just the effort of going to the place is exhausting for me... *BIG SIGH* I'm that lazy right now... But hey, lazy fat cow me was able to successfully drag herself to the gym three times this week!! Hooray!!! *APPLAUSE* And now you can imagine the state of my muscles... *ugh!* No Pain, No Gain they say... But damn I'm just sore all over!!! My butt feels like it's in four places (that's more than the usual!!!), and my abdominal muscles (wishful thinking that I do have some... ) truly does hurt... Just have to push thru the pain... Don't I always?

Case 2: I have a dear friend who's in a "sticky situation" right now... Boy Problems. The ephemeral case of the "kami na ba?" syndrome. We've all been there... And maybe even wished that we haven't... Moving on, she knows what to do... But just can't make herself to do what it is that she know she has to do...

Case 3: I still fall in one my "dreaded" moods... Just the other day I was totally sucked in it. Hated it...


... Whatever the case maybe, I say its all a matter of choice really... Just how long will you allow yourself to BE in that rut is all up to you. Nobody else can pull you out of it except you and YOU alone... Your friends can give you that initial push, but the big heave has to come from you...

~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~

On a different note, I heard Sean Paul is coming to Manila next month!!!!! How true is that???? If he is coming, daaamn, yah know I'm gonna be there baby! Loved him since I was in Georgetown!!! Like 8 years ago!!! *whew* calm down Mari... Anybody interested? ;-)

: : *whoa!* : :

I am still reeling from my weekend... *grin*
Still feeling some "after-effects" of the weekend hang over... Still hung over actually. And it's a Monday after the month-end batch. Nice one... Just smile & wave...

Talk about going impromptu party mode! I thought it was going to be a nice, quiet, relaxing weekend by the beach, or somewhere where the birds are chirping & the sun is shining, commune with nature, or maybe even do wall climbing, & supposed to be go kart racing... But your sea princess did a different kind of the "communing" kind. *hehe* Nothing perverted now! Just decided to hung out with dear friends, have fun, FUN, FUN & dance, DANCE, DANCE, & DANCE... PARTY!!!

I must say it was quite an unbeleivable night. Few rounds at Capone's with a dear, dear, DEAR friend. Laugh trip... food trip... Happy thoughts... Then, decided to hop on over to PICC for DJ Tiesto & to meet Bri & co. My Goodness! The place was packed! But it was well worth it. I'm not much of a lover for house music but man, this guy IS really GOOD! He is defintely the best!!! He'll definitely take you to a higher place... Love it!!! *BIG GRIN*

In Search of Sunrise

The Party didn't stop here of course... We decided to hop on over next to Club Industry at around 06:30... No need for the details... But I danced, and danced, danced, and danced.... I didn't get home 'till noon...
What a night...
What a morning...
What a Life!!!!
Gotta love it!!!
*SMILE!

*wink*wink*

still singing to the tunes of I'll Fly With You (Gigi d'agostino)...
I still believe in your eyes
I just don't care what
You have done in your life
Baby I'll always be here by your side
Don't leave me waiting too long
Please come by
I, I, I, I still believe in your eyes;
There is no choice,
I belong to your life
Because I will live
To love you someday;
You'll be my baby
And we'll fly away
And I'll fly with you,
I'll fly with you,
I'll fly with you....

The Song in my head...


Thanks to Dottie, I am hooked & in love with this song... Wonder why... *wink*
Mmmwah!

: : blah mood : :

I find that I'm falling into one of my many, MANY moods lately...
Hmmm...

~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@

CHIKA of the moment: (Okay I'm chismosa... Like you're not!)
somebody from work got preggers... they're both from work... and the clincher is that the guy is married... and that he just had a baby from his wife! AND he's not even ALL that goddamnit... wtf?!?!
I feel sorry for the girl... (She resigned.) Sabi nga sa Grey's Anatomy, she's like a human road kill & everybody's slowing down just to see the wreckage/carnage...
It's sad...
I think what my friend, John told me is quite appropriate for this scenario,

Don't get your honey where you're getting your money...

I hear yah... Coz when the good turns bad, it can get sooo BAD, & what's worse is that everybody else will know.
*sigh*

~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@

I miss...
I need to go to the beach...
I think the heat is getting to me...
Melting my brain...
*blah*
I feel like I'm in the middle of nowhere, but I'm not exactly lost...
I feel like screaming & throwing a fit, but I'm not exactly angry nor upset...
But neither am I jovial...
*blah*blah*
there's a huge black swirling pool of nothingness
there's a girl walking, tiptoeing, balancing on the edges
not wanting her toes to be touched by the black nothingness
but still she persists to play, to test her balance
a gentle kiss of the wind can easily push her into the pool
and she know it
yet she persists
and still persists...

*BLAH*BLAH*BLAH*

: : i'm in a mood : :

hmmm.... Yes, I'm in a mood... What mood? I dunno... *sigh*

~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~

thought you had all the answers to rest your heart upon. but something happens don't see it coming, now you can't stop yourself. now you're out there swimming in the deep. in the deep. Life keeps tumbling your heart in circles till you... let go till you shed your pride and you climb to heaven and you throw yourself off. now you're out there spinning in the deep. in the deep. in the deep. in the deep. and now you're out there spinning and now you're out there spinning in the deep. in the deep. in the deep. in the deep. If you want to be given everything, give everything up... Share lang...

~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~

"Maybe part of the reason why we hold on to something so tight for so long is because we fear that something so great won't happen twice..."

""I've realized that Life is full of contradictions... Sometimes it's crazy to be sane. You need to fall to fly. People suffer because you care. You have to unlearn to know the lesson. You have to give up because you are strong. You have to be wrong to make things right... Nonetheless, Life's complexities are also Life's source of beauty. We should cry to laugh again... Fall apart to be whole again... And get hurt to Love again..."

~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~

"By the time the pain of not doing the thing gets worse than the fear of doing it, it would feel like we're carrying around a tumor in our body..." And it does...

"Knowing is better than wondering..." Is it? But then what you don't know, won't hurt you... Ignorance is bliss isn't it? But then you can only fool yourself for so long...

~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@

Admittedly I'm a bitch. Cold-hearted rin ba daw? Am I? Sometimes I do think so.. Maybe I've morphed into an ice queen. Dya think? Things are actually quite simple. And it can remain simple. It only becomes complicated when you start to feel... And care... So I guess I'm no ice queen after all. Although I wish I was... And though I know some people think so...

How is it a good idea to open up and be vulnerable? That doesn't make any sense.

Enough.

But then I've been telling myself that same sentiment for the longest while now...

This is just most likely my hormones raging. It better be.

: : did i say happy week? NOT! : :

Let me just say that last week was by far one of the most horrible week that I've ever had the misfortune to have in my entire experience with the Bank...

Monday was a breeze... Little did I know that it was the calm before the storm...

Tuesday at work was also ok... The night before the dreaded month end batch... It was cool so far when I left my shift at 2200, Tuesday. I had the Embassy party to go to that night, and I was all psyched up for it. Had my costume all ready - picked it up from my tailor that same morning, although I gagged when I saw that the skirt was transformed into an ultra mini-mini skirt (I guess I forgot the fact that with the sizable ass of my ass the skirt will definitely hitch up - WAY UP!), I say what the hell right? It doesn't happen all the time! So might as well... So the costume was all set, with all it's trappings and all. THEN it turns out that my girl friend /date for the night is being attacked by laziness & does not feel like going anymore!!! WHAT? Then as it turns out, the invite is non-transferable so I can't just bring another friend along... Damn! Then it turns out that there is somebody else who I know will be going to the party... My flaker of a girl friend convinced me to go, since I was all ready for it anyway - sayang naman! So I went... BAD DECISION!!! Haay... I shouldn't have... Don't get me wrong, but the party was a BLAST - it definitely BLEW me away alright... But it was a very BAD thing... Too too BAD...

Moving on! So of course I had a major hang over the next day... Groggy & all sick inside and not just because of the alcohol from the night before... Anyway, as I went thru the door of our office, I immediately noticed that something was very VERY odd... There were no reports AT ALL for distribution? I knew it was a month end - surely I didn't sleep thru one whole day? Then I was informed that there really was no reports released, the reason being: PC crashed... And the clincher was that there's no back up... NO BACK UP??? What dept am I in again??? Frigging IT!!! So put it all in a nutshell, we were completely blind for 48 hours. No LN - incommunicado, no connection to the printer servers, no PRES, unable to do any download, and obviously no uploading of any files either, not even an access to any of the systems... Unbelievable!!! IT right??? Users were asking us to re-connect them when they had more access to the system compared to us at that time. It was a nightmare!!!! This continued on for 3 whole days.... I caved in on the 2nd day... I had my melt down... I reached a point wherein I just could not breathe, the walls were literally closing in on me and my throat was all clogged up and my eyes were burning up... I had to run to the wash room and there I blew my steam... I was followed by two of my dear officemates and they were there to make me paypay. I hyperventilated and all!!! It was horrible... I don't usually lose my cool!!! A guy friend from the office tapped me at the back and even asked, "Umiiyak ka pala?!" It was a first for me... But my girlfriends were saying that they were really just waiting for me to crack coz they could definitely see the pressure that I was on then... Haaay!!!!

Thank GOD - all the Gods, that it's all ok now. Slowly but surely we're picking up the pieces and going back to our usual normal cycle... Yes, we now have a backup for our pc - 2 of them!!! Whew!!! But man, I never ever EVER want to go through the same experience again. Is wear I WILL quit right there and then!!!

I am so thankful though, that I have dear friends that are there for me when I need them... And I don't even have to ask, because they just know... Awh... Love yah guys.

On a positive note, (God please don't jinx this one... pretty please...) my birthday is coming up soon!!! Whoopee!!! Luau party anyone??

: : still about last week : :

* just so you know, I will still be ranting quite a bit in this entry...*

Last week was REALLY not a good week, I think I was able to establish that fact, but I forgot some bits and pieces... So just wanted to put the final touches on it. Kinda like putting the cherry and chocolate syrup on top of a fabulous sundae.

* I lost my phone during the anniv party at Embassy Tuesday night... I was totally bummed... Lost a phone yet again!!! Don't ask how I lost it coz I can't even remember myself... But miracles of all miracles, found my dear phone when we went Saturday night!!! Awesome eh?! Have to commend the staff of that place, real nice people. It's a blessing in disguise that the bouncer, the washroom attendant, the cashier, and the manager remembers me... Hehe.. How you ask? You don't want to know... Trust me!

* I wasn't able to go to my check out dive last week... I felt that I was too stressed that if I do go, I just won't be able to enjoy the dive... Sayang lang... So I decided to move it to this weekend... Knocking on wood as we speak, and crossing my fingers (& legs!) that hopefully this pushes thru... I have my gear all set!!!

* Wasn't able to go to the gym the whole week!!!! I am now a fat cow... Also, I'm feeling the stress man... My skin's breakin out!!! *bawls* phooey!

* Ok, I'm now finished ranting...

~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~

On a completely different note... Did I miss a beat? Or maybe not... No I did not actually... I'm just done with the questions. "We often mistake what we wish for, with what is..." I know. Admittedly(yes I can now admit so), it's not about this person, but it's more of the idea and the possibility... That maybe, just maybe... But it just isn't. I still don't. I thought I did... But I want what I don't want... And there's no point stressing over something that's only an almost sort-of-thing. Coz we all know almost doesn't count... (song yun ah) So I'm just gonna sit back, relax, enjoy the ride... No worries.

Happy thoughts... *grinning*

: : happy week : :

Just an hour to go and I'll be FINALLY done with my gruelling 16-hour shift! Yep, you read it right the first time, 16 hours man... Damn... Oh well, that's OT for me so it's not that bad... Actually it still is, just trying to convince myself it's not... Ok didn't work!

But miraclas of all miracles though, I'm not that tired as I expected... I think I may have enough energy to even check out the dive shops & start shopping for my gear... Hehe, but then again I always have enough energy to go shopping! Especially now that I just received my bonus from work... Hmm... Just thinking about that cash just sitting there in my account is too tempting... Gotta learn to control. Something that I really have to learn!!!

I haven't had my usual two-cups of coffee nor any cigs and yet I'm still positively perky. Go figure! Thinking happy thoughts lang... In fact, I'm definitely looking forward to this week, aside from the monthend batch, I hope it'll be a happy week:

Tuesday Night is Embassy's anniversary party, & a girlfriend of mine invited me to go! She doesn't work the next day & my shift doesn't start till 2pm so I 'm GAME!! Party! hehe. The party has a school theme, so I'm all excited to dress up for that. Luv costume parties... I haven't decided yet on what I'm gonna wear, though... But I think I have an idea... So you know that means Monday would be shopping panic day.
Oops - monday = shopping! Also for diving equipment... Control!
Thursday will be my last pool session for my scuba lessons - gotta cram it all up for my check out dive this weekend in Anilao!! Exciting!!! I'm going to the beach! Although there's really not much of a beach in Anilao, but it's ok, there's the sea so for me beach pa rin yun! hehe Looking forward to breathe in that salty fresh air, swim, and DIVE!!! naks! To breathe like Darth Vader under water with the fishies. Nice!
Friday night - considering that I didn't go out this week, I have a feeling Friday would be a catchin up night. So just gonna chill & hang out.
Oh and I'm hoping that I can realy stick this whole week out... Better that I don't see him really. I'd rather not. And I hope he doesn't make his usual "whatsup & how-you-doin", so that I don't have to worry about... Whatever. Gotta be strong... Yeah, yeah...

Just think HAPPY THOUGHTS!

: : just ranting : :

I just had my third chocolate mint for the night (doing the graveyard shift). *yum* sugar overload... but what the heck, with a week like this, I need to have my uppers... something to keep me up & about... & to keep my mind from certain things & certain personalities as well... but i guess the third choc mint was a bit of a give away that I'm not exactly doing so well... damnit!

Yet another message from he-who-must-not-be-named. What the hell?!?! Is he or isn't he? What is that about? Or should I be asking myself that question?! I have no idea why i get so irritated when I do hear from him... But I do know I go through the same reaction when I don't... Ang labo talaga... Coz that's what we are - malabo. ENOUGH! He just doesn't get it... I don't either!

Had a little chat with a colleague the other night. The topic was about falling or being in Love. Yes dear friends, Love. He mentioned that he wouldn't mind to be in Love right now. "Wow!" I exclaimed. "Really?!" He of course was flabbergasted that I wouldn't want to... He suggested that maybe I just haven't pondered over it that much? Definitely! It's not that I don't want to be, if it happens it happens right? But come to think of it now,it really has been a while since I really even thought about it... Honestly! I haven't met anyone that has made me even consider the thought of it... Sad. There was a time when I thought falling in Love was the easiest thing in the world. Whatever happened with that? I grew up, that's what happened. But I shouldn't say that, coz the guy that I was having this conversation with is in his early thirties... What does that say about me? A pessimist? Perhaps. More of a realist.... Jaded? Yes, why not. Been hurt, disappointed and all that, and I've learned from them. But it doesn't mean I don't believe in IT anymore. I do. I still do... It'll happen in time... At the right moment, & hopefully with the right guy.

Cheers!

: : random thoughts : :

* Attended a wedding of a colleague today. It was lovely... The church was beautiful, and the reception was garden-style & was set amidst old Spanish ruins. There was even a fountain in the middle! It was very romantic... Perfect lighting & all... Evoked a lot of oohs & aahs among us girls as you can imagine. Lovely...

* Just what is it about Sunday nights that makes all radio stations to play lovey-dovey-ultra-mushy love songs?!?!?! It doesn't really help right now...

* So I was able to stick it out for almost two weeks. I was firm to myself and did not break my stand. It's another round of power play. And then I receive a message out of the blue(just as before). I freak out. But regained my composure & replied just so to be polite. Hey I'm cool. I will not get affected by this again. And then what happened after a week? I crumbled... Inexplicably. I gave in... Extremely foolish of me! Pfft! I was doing so well and then BAM! I'm back to square one. Blame it on February shall we please? Never again though. Deleted his number. And no I did not memorize his number. He can go back to Timbuktu for all I care. Now that felt good!

* On a positively jovial note: I started my scuba lessons this week!!! Hooray!!! Considering the fact that I don't know how to swim, I think I did pretty good! :-) I'm a self-confessed beach addict. Eversince I can remember, I've always loved the sea. It's in my nature - Water is my sign, I'm a Piscean. My name in Greek is "water related" as well. Mind boggling how I still don't know how to swim... Anyway, I've always wanted to learn scuba. A friend of mine gave me an intro dive the other week in Anilao and it was AMAZING! Surreal experience! Although I must admit that I kinda panicked the first time I dove into the water... Almost forgot that I have the regulator & that I can breathe... Breathe like Darth Vader. But when I saw the scene before me - WOW! I've entered a new realm... I was captivated.
A week after that, decided to finally take that scuba classes. I can't wait for my check out dive! Just have to schedule when... Soon though!

: : words & their meaning (?!?) : :

isn't it funny how just one word can mean so much... possibly even too much... perhaps.
take for example the word dreaming... and it so happens that I am in this mood right now... sort of.
dictionary.com can define it in 6 ways...
(1)A series of images, ideas, emotions, and sensations occurring involuntarily in the mind during certain stages of sleep.
--> I say dreaming is not restricted to when you are sleeping. It can happen anytime - regardless of whether or not you're sleeping, or maybe walking, talking, eating, breathing or whatever it is that you're doing... Though I wish dreaming is solely restricted only when you're sleeping. That way everything would've been easier... I would only have to deal with the *dreaming* for just 8 hours or so, if that was the case... Or maybe it's just me... I dream too much. Yep, gotta be.
(2) a daydream; a reverie.
--> hmm... i'm imminently stuck to *dreaming*... must shake it off and break free from this catatonic state...
(3) A state of abstraction; a trance.
--> It is definitely a hassle. Just a distraction. Diddn't I just say I'm going catatonic? Walking zombie... bzzzzzzz
(4) A wild fancy or hope.
--> So true... Waste of time. When you hope, you expect. And the the more you hope, thus of course the higher the expectations. Exposing yourself. Making yourself susceptible to an attack of injury - physical or emotional. And of course once that happens, if you're lucky - hurray for you, but if not, you know you're screwed.
(5) A condition or achievement that is longed for.
--> Hmmm... Now if only I know what that is...
(6) And FINALLY - One that is exceptionally gratifying, excellent, or beautiful...
--> Ooooh... Ok. And so I chose to *dream*... To continue to *dream*... Because in the end, I know there will always be something beautiful out of the ugliness of it all...

Thus, Mari is, and will always be *dreaming*...
Pfft!

: : this month of February : :

It's a weird month.
Whether it's a leap year or not, it's still a weird month.
Some say people born under this month are either sheer geniuses or just plain bonkers really. Ok maybe not. :)

Perhaps I'm just ranting coz the dreaded V-day is just around the corner yet again.
Of course it's a different scenario when you're in "L", with somebody, or just basically having something with somebody... Or anything to that effect.
But for those that are single, pft! The holiday season was tough enough, and then comes February. Just when you're getting over the fact that you didn't have a date to kiss at the stroke of midnight on New Year's eve, here comes another holiday that throws your lack of romance in your face yet again. HAHA! :) It's getting hilarious isn't it?
It's because of February.

Or maybe because our tempers were in a a good high from the holiday season, you know, what with the rush & thrill of the emotions brought on by the holidays that perhaps now, everybody's suffering from the anti-climax of it all. On February. Had to be.
Blame it on February.
Yes, why don't we. :-D

: : of sinners & saints : :

A friend of mine sent me this interesting quote from Desperate Housewives:

"It's not that easy to distinguish the good guys from the bad guys... Sinners can surprise you and the same is true for saints... Why do we try to define people as simply good or simply evil? Because no one wants to admint that compassion & cruelty can live side by side in one heart, and that anyone is capable of anything..."

So true...

: : Kung Hey Fat Choy : :

It's the Chinese New Year! It literally means wishing you plenty of wealth (wingleehong.com!), but people use this phrase to say Happy New Year. Oh well, no harm done in however you mean it.
Though the year has already started and we're almost done on the first month, I'd like to take this time as MY new year. Start afresh. So in Chinese ways, I'm really not that late, it's just the right time... Excuses!
But hey it's really never too late to recognize a change in one's life... Right? It takes a lot of courage to recognize one, and even more so to accept it. So what better time to do it but now.

January is named after the Roman god Janus who's seen as having two faces staring in opposite directions; one facing the past & one to the future... So before this month ends, I'd like to reflect on the past - the things & events that have happened, things that I've done, the people that have touched my life; everything that has shaped me to who & what I am right now... And from here, the question is, where do I want to go?
I don't want to make yet another New Year's resolution. Because I already know what will be on it. It's the same old list that I make every year.
Take this for an example, at the start of last year, I told myserlf I'll quit smoking, and I was able to quit smoking for almost 10 months! - But now I am back in the habit! The only thing that I was able to hold on to from my yearly resolution was staying at the gym... I'm still with my gym, but it doesn't mean that I'm as active as I want to be!!! But still at least I stuck in keeping my membership. :-D

But kidding aside, I want this year to be different. I don't just wish it, I want it to be so. I'm tired of all the negative crap that I allow myself to go through each and every damn year. Besides, there's already too much negativity in this world! So I'm going to be more POSITIVE this year. No more drama PLEASE! Enough with the past. No more stressing over what's been done and what could be. No other way but to go forward from here, and I'm gonna do it with a big SMILE with my head held up & of course with my posture just right.
Life is a journey as they say, and I sure had my fair share of obstacles along the way - but you "lose" some, you "gain" some. No regrets.
I'm still blessed to have a great Nanay & sister... I have great friends that I know I can count on no matter what... I have a good job. I'm blessed with a good Life.

So this year, I'll make it MY YEAR. :-) It will.
Life is a succession of moments. To live each one is to succeed.
Just gotta keep on breathing.

: : no more drama : :

No More Drama
By Mary J Blige

So tired, tired of these drama
No more, no more
I wanna be free
I'm so tired, so tired

Broken heart again
Another lesson learn
Better know your friends
Or else you will get burn
Gotta count on me
Cause I can guarantee
That I'll be fine

No more pain (no more pain)
No more pain (no more pain)
No drama (no more drama in my life)
Noone's gonna make me hurt again

Why'd I play the fool
Go through ups and downs
Knowing all the time
You wouldn't be around
Or maybe I like the stress
Cause I was young and restless
But that was long ago
I don't wanna cry no more

No more pain (no more pain)
No more game (no more game messin with my mind)
No drama (no more drama in my life)
Nooone's gonna make me hurt again
No more tears (no more tears, I'm tired of cryin everynight)
No more fears (no more fears, I really don't wanna cry)
No drama (no more drama in my life)
I don't ever wanna hurt again
Wanna speak my mind, wanna speak my mind

Uh, it feel so good
When you let go
Avoid these drama in your life
Now you're free from all the pain
Free from all the game
Free from all the stress
So find your happiness
I don't know
Only God knows where the story ends for me
But I know where the story begins
It's up to us to choose
Whether we win or loose
And I choose to win

No more pain (no more pain)
No more game (tired of your playin' game with my mind)
No drama (no more drama in my life)
No more, no more, No more, no more
No more tears (no more tears, no more cryin every night)
No more fears (no more waking be up in the morning)
No drama, no more in my life

No more drama, no more drama
No more drama, no more drama
NO MORE DRAMA
NO MORE DRAMA
NO MORE DRAMA
NO MORE DRAMA
NO MORE DRAMA
No more drama in my life
So tired, tired of these drama

-> Amen to that!

: : honestly... : :

feeling so down lately
having unbelievable extreme mood swings by the hour
have to be busy
attempt to focus
sometimes it actually works...
but most times... not

out of sight.
out of mind.
less talk.
less mistake.
no talk = no mistake.
i used to believe this works. i actually made it work for myself! for a time... but then i can only kid myself for so long... and now...
after the longest time of thinking & believing that i can avoid the unavoidable, & succeeding in the process for a time, i find myself to be in the same position that i promised myself i won't be in... yet here i am...
and now... nothing.
can't undo what's been done.
but I'm a big girl... i can handle this... i should be able to...
:-)
enough with the drama!
there are more depressing things in the world right now.
no other way but to go forward. no sense being stuck in a rut, for that won't do anybody good. get up, smell the pollution in the air and MOVE ON!
easier said than done, but still, it's worth a try.


*****************************************************
~Strong Enough~
by Sheryl Crow

God, I feel like hell tonight
Tears of rage I cannot fight
I’d be the last to help you understand
Are you strong enough to be my man?

Nothing’s true and nothing’s right
So let me be alone tonight
Cause you can’t change the way I am
Are you strong enough to be my man?

Lie to me
I promise I’ll believe
Lie to me
But please don’t leave

I have a face I cannot show
I make the rules up as I go
It’s try and love me if you can
Are you strong enough to be my man?

When I’ve shown you that I just don’t care
When I’m throwing punches in the air
When I’m broken down and I can’t stand
Will you be strong enough to be my man?

Lie to me
I promise I’ll believe
Lie to me
But please don’t leave

: : about a boy : :

About a boy...
Yes, it's always about a boy... The good. The Bad. Good & bad. Bad & good. The handsome ones, & the not so handsome ones... Of varying shapes & sizes & nationality... There will always be a boy...
But there comes a time when a girl meets a certain boy who can make everything else a bit different than the usual encounter... This certain boy who basically tilts the girl's world into a blundering confusion...
Where the girl can't seem to get the boy out of her mind... And she starts thinking about romantic notions that she thought she'd never even consider... At that point in her life... And she really should not do so... For she should know better! Because after all, he is still a boy... And boys will be boys...
She tries to be strong and keep "it" together... She tries with all her might. She tries to convince herself that she can handle it. And sometimes she actually even believes herself... But it's a losing battle. Because her heart has a mind of her own... And has already decided even before her mind could register what it is that was happening... But the mind still refuses to accept the inevitable, & will continue to do so... Thus hurting the girl in the entire stressful process... A dear friend suggested to just take the leap and get hurt, & feel...
But you have to understand that the girl has been through a lot already... And the situation is not exactly the forever picture...
So why take the risk? Too much has been risked already...
But damn... It hurts... It truly does physically hurt deep inside... - says the girl.

I think one can only silently cry inside for so long... And after while, the heart can only take so much and eventually a torrent of tears will eventually spring out from one's tired eyes...
And in that moment, you'd be eternally grateful that you have a dear friend's shoulder to cry on to...

Thank you Paul! Love yah much...