: : just some thoughts to ponder... : :

I was just talking to a dear friend of mine... We've known each other since we were seven years old! We've seen each other transform from the fun, & awkward days of grade school into the awkward self (still) that we are now. =) I hardly get to see or chat with him especially since we both have a weird work schedule... But it never fails to amaze me how easy it is to strike up a conversation with him at any given time. And I usually call him up to get that "reality-bites check" talk. And tonight was something like that.
I told him I'm bored - yes, AGAIN!!!
Funny how I could be bored when I just came from my beach break... It's just that everything seems to be becoming so monotonous... So mundane... Ordinary...
And I guess one of my worst fear is to be such...
Funny when you think about it coz mundane and ordinary is synonymous to Normal...
So I guess I fear most to be normal!
The irony of Life...
He asked if I was ok... How ok is ok? Am i ok?
I guess I am.
I mean I am.
I really am.

Work's fine... Really.
Though I wish things could be better, like everybody else. Otherwise, it's fine.

Friends are fine...
In Life we meet a lot of people.
You either like them or you don't...
I have very few poeple that I consider friends.
The rest I consider as acquaintances.
I miss my old friends... I'm too sentimental really.

The Love life is in fact quite colorful even. =)
Though I have realized that everytime I face a situation where I know it could lead to a "relationship", I tend to take ten (a hundred?) steps backward... Admittedly it has become a sort of defence mechanism as a colleague friend of mine has described it...
Take this one incident: There's this guy that I was "seeing" late last year. He's nice. We got along well. He makes me laugh. And best thing of all was he made me feel extra special. Admittedly now, we were practically a couple. Hell we were acting and doing stuff that couples do. But it was never really formalized. And I didn't consider him as a boyfriend... But when he did verbalize the "relationship" thing with us - I freaked out. I hyperventilated! So of course that was that. =) Some say I was harsh, even cold...
Am I?
Right now, there's this one guy that I recently just hooked up with... I barely know anything about him really... Yet there's something about him that has quite intrigued me... He's not as predictable like most men are, and I think that's what's gripping me... I'm just waiting for the defence wall to come up! =) I know it's bound to turn up anytime soon... Or maybe I should just take this plunge? We'll see...

Hay....