Friday, December 16, 2005

: : ??????????????????? : :

Ever had a feeling about a situation wherein you had an inkling that something's up & bound to "happen"?(though your sane mind wished that it didn't, but then then your impulsive self clamored for it!) But when the situation that you felt was going to happen actually happened, it still leaves you in a state of total perplexity?!?!?!
The expected unexpectedness... Dumbfounding...

So of course now the question is, how do you deal with it?
Just how the hell do you????
Do you balk at the situation & pretend that it didn't happen and move on with the normalcy of your so-called life? And then stumble(purposely!) into something else and turn the whole situation into something that's even more puzzling! Wherein you jump from the frying pan and into to the fire? Which basically leaves you now in a situation wherein you're even more confused...
Because now you realize what is it exactly that you want... But wished you didn't.
So you go back inside your protective wall... And then what????
Then what????
What?????
Damn...

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

: : Mistake by Fiona Apple : :


I'm gonna make a mistake
I'm gonna do it on purpose
I'm gonna waste my time
'Cause I'm full as a tick
And I'm scratching at the surface
And what I find is mine
And when the day is done, and I look back
And the fact is I had fun, fumbling around
All the advice I shunned, and I ran
Where they told me not to run, but I sure
Had fun, so
I'm gonna FUCK it up again
I'm gonna do another detour
Unpave my path
And if you wanna make sense
Whatcha looking at me for
I'm no good at math
And when I find my way back,
The fact is I just may stay, or I may not
I've acquired quite a taste
For a wellmade mistake
I wanna mistake why can't I make a mistake?
I'm always doing what I think I should
Almost always doing everybody good
Why
Do I wanna do right, of course but
Do I really wanna feel I'm forced to
Answer you, hell no
I've acquired quite a taste
For a wellmade mistake, I wanna
Make a mistake, why can't I make a mistake
I'm always doing what I think I should
Almost always doing everybody good
Why


I think my current song of the moment explicitly describes the rut that I am in right now...
Why do I always chose the unpaved path? When there's obviously a much more easier way... Grrrrr....
SIGH.......

Sunday, December 11, 2005

: : Too Lost in You by Sugababes : :


You look into my eyes
I go out of my mind
I can't see anything
Cos this love's got me blind
I can't help myself
I can't break the spell
I can't even try

I'm in over my head
You got under my skin
I got no strength at all
In the state that I'm in

And my knees are weak
And my mouth can't speak
Fell too far this time

[Chorus:]
Baby, I'm too lost in you
Caught in you
Lost in everything about you
So deep, I can't sleep
I can't think
I just think about the things that you do (you do)
I'm too lost in you
(Too lost in you)

ooh
Well you whispered to me
And I shiver inside
You undo me and move me
In ways undefined
And you're all I see
And you're all I need
Help me baby (help me baby)
Help me baby (help me now)

Cos I'm slipping away
Like the sand to the tide
Flowing into your arms
Falling into your eyes
If you get too near
I might disappear
I might lose my mind

[Chorus:]
Baby, I'm too lost in you
Caught in you
Lost in everything about you
So deep, I can't sleep
I can't think
I just think about the things that you do (you do)
I'm too lost in you
(Too lost in you)

I'm going crazy in love for you baby
(I can't eat and I can't sleep)
I'm going down like a stone in the sea
Yeah, no one can rescue me
(No one can rescue me)

Oooh, my baby
Oooh, baby, baby

[Chorus:]
Baby, I'm too lost in you
Caught in you
Lost in everything about you
So deep, I can't sleep
I can't think
I just think about the things that you do (you do)
I'm too lost in you

I'm lost in you
I'm lost in you
I'm lost in everything about you
So deep (so deep), I can't sleep
I can't think
I just think about the things that you do (you do)
I'm too lost in you
(Too lost in you)


I just happen to like the song... But I'm obviously NOT!!! - Whatever... Hell no.

Sunday, November 20, 2005

: : carpe diem! : :



You only live once, so live & enjoy life to the fullest! Carpe Diem! Seize the day! This has been my on-going mantra for the past couple of weeks, & I must say, life is good! :-)

First off, my Palawan trip was great FUN! It was definitely an adventure from the very beginning right till the end...
~ Oct 28. We left Manila aboard a ferry & sailed through the night to Coron Palawan. We were a group of 12 - a hodgepodge of people from various depts who's game for anything - & I mean ANYTHING! And boy did we rock the boat! :-) We drank, danced, & were merry the whole night. Hehe. Pole dancing anyone? Although the pole wasn't exactly a pole but more of a pillar!
~ Oct 29. Arrived in beautiful Coron... The scenery was breath taking!!! We just checked in our luggages(did I mention that I had a lot!), changed into our swimsuits and headed back on a boat for island hopping galore. Sarap!!! No work! No worries! A day of swimming (though I can't swim), snorkelling(with my mini fins!), sight seeing, & a bit of trekking - & all with a splash of adventure written all over it. Night time was a whole different story... Hehe. Had my first taste of "bilog" & boy did I regret it the next day... But it's all good... Still FUN.
~ Oct 30. Another day of island hopping galore on our way to Calauit Island. GHOSTLY NIGHT at Calauit!!!!
~ Oct 31. Safari Ride!! Giraffe feeding! :-) Coulion Island, used to be a leper colony. The unending steps to the cross... And I'm not even religious! Makinit Lake. DRINKING TIME!!!
~ Nov 1. Buhbye Coron. Hello HOC! :-)

~ to be continued...

* kinikilig ako... LN out of the blue from a Mr. Somebody. haha. *kilig*

Sunday, October 23, 2005

: : PBB... : :


Ok... Ok... I admit... I'm currently hooked on this reality show... Unbelievable!!! Pero grabe na ito... :-) I can't seem to help myself, but I just have to have my fix on what's going on inside the house...
Nakakaloka...

: : itching for the beach!!!! : :


One more week to go!!! Palawan here we come!!!
I can't wait!!!

And next month, it's gonna be BORACAY baby!!!!

B O R A C A Y ! ! ! !
Daisypath PicDaisypath Ticker


Yep!!!
I'm making up for lost time with the beach...
Stocking up on mucho SPFs...
:-)

Thursday, October 13, 2005

: : busy body me : :


I think my last post made quite a stir... Some people I tell yah... If you can't take it, then no nobody's forcing you to read on. Leave!
Makes me think about MTRCB on Pinoy Big Brother... Censoring reality? If only life can also be cut & edited like a movie, but unfortunately, it can't be so. On life whatever happens is the final cut, no chance for a second take to replace the "bad cut". You can try again of course, but what's done is done...

Moving on...
I attended a kiddie party over the weekend! It's the 1st bday of the daughter of one of our bosses - she was so adorable! A bubbling baby with such a happy disposition - she was just smiling the whole time!!! Afterwards, Pia, Erik & I went to watch a movie at Greenbelt - 40 year old virgin. It was hilarious!!! Hella funny.

I was off from work last Monday to Wednesday - a welcome break... I was originally planning to go home to Laguna, but lil sis was sick so I decided to stay in the Metro & be the caring big sis that I am (most of the time...). Nevertheless, I must say that I was able to do a lot during my "off days" - except for Monday... hehe

Monday ~ woke up with a start at around 06:00AM and freaked out. I thought I had work at 6AM! Thru a cloud of sleepiness I realized that I didn't have work so went back to bed... Grrr.... Woke up at around 11:30 with a slight headache from too much sleeping... I basically just bummed around the entire day & watched TV & eat! Felt horribly lazy...

Tuesday ~ I promised myself that I WILL do something, and I did! I decided to have my very first boxing lesson at Elorde as recommended by my roommate. It was great! Though I must admit I was comical when trying to box + footwork. I swear my instructor was laughing at me when I asked if I had to change foot when doing a left uppercut... And when I sashayed backward when asked to step back. Kinda had my dancing lessons mixed up with the session. Afterwards, with a stinky wrap at hand and with my knuckles red (naks!), I still felt ambitious enough to hit the gym and run! Was able to do some weights & even a bit of crunches. Damn I was on a roll that day. Well, at least I was able to release all that pent-up emotions!

Wednesday ~ Coding day! So had no choice but to stay indoors til after 7pm. Went to the gym and did my usual run on the threadmill, crunches, etc... To cap off my workout, I did Body Balance, a combination of yoga/tai chi/pilates. It felt great to stretch out...

So there you have it! I was quite the busy bee these past few days... :-)

Sunday, October 09, 2005

: : casual sex? : :




If you do it, chances are it's not going to go anywhere. But if you both know it's not going anywhere, then there's nothing wrong with it.

--Paul Walker in Us, on having sex on the first date. Woo-hoo, the '70s are back! Around the office, we call it Casual Sex Fridays... (from Eonline.com)

: : All about LoVe AcTuAlLy... : :


I finally saw "Love actually" & I have to say it's one of the most charming movies I've ever seen!!! One of those rare movies that have me gushing over it with oodles & oodles of aaawhhsss & sighs... :-) I was already enthralled at the very beginning of the movie!
Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think about the arrivals gate at Heathrow Airport. General opinion's starting to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but I don't see that. It seems to me that love is everywhere. Often it's not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but it's always there - fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends. When the planes hit the Twin Towers, as far as I know none of the phone calls from the people on board were messages of hate or revenge - they were all messages of love. If you look for it, I've got a sneaky feeling you'll find that love actually is all around.

With that kind of intro, who wouldn't? I'm lovin it!
Here are some more quotes from the movie that will definitely make you go "hmm..." or "awhhh...":
But you know the thing about romance is people only get together right at the very end. by Sam

Sometimes the chase is better than the actual "taking" they say... They call it romantic when he's courting you. Sometimes the romance ends when two people actually o get together! One of life's ironies...
Jamie: It's my favorite time of day, driving you.
Aurelia: [in Portuguese] It is the saddest part of my day, leaving you.

A definite "awwhhhhh" moment!
Natalie(secretary): Hello, David. I mean "sir". Shit, I can't believe I've just said that. Oh, and now I've gone and said "shit" - twice. I'm so sorry, sir.
Prime Minister: It's fine, it's fine. You could've said "fuck", and then we'd have been in real trouble.
Natalie: Thank you, sir. I did have an awful premonition that I was going to fuck up on the first day. Oh, piss-it!

A bloody good ole English humor... Had me laughing!
I dunno, maybe it's the British acccent, or just Hugh Grant (possibly!) but "Love Actually" actually made me re-think my views on Love (yes it did!)... Love is definitely everywhere. One doesn't have to search for it really, coz for all you know, it's just right there in front of you...

: : In the midst of a foggy morning & sleepy me... : :


* {YAWN!!!!!}
It's been extremely hard to get up in the morning these past few days... What with the weather getting colder & wetter as we delve deeper into the -ber months... Argh... I really have to struggle to wake up... And it's a failing battle between me & my bed- with my comfy warm blankets & plump pillows... But I have to say I am more than the willing victim as I press the snooze button yet again for the upteenth time... Before I know it, I look at the clock & I know I'll be late yet again... I force myself to go to the bathroom and prepare myself for a cold COLD shower. My senses would temporarily awaken at this point, but as I put on my clothes & reach the office... The sight of the computers immediately transports me back into a kind of stupor... Haaay.... This is how I am every morning this past week.


* I saw a VCD of "Patch Adams" lying around the apartment one afternoon (one of my sister's reference materials) & being too lazy to go the gym (eventhough I promised myself to go to the gym to "buff it up" before the Palawan trip...), decided to watch it... It wasn't such a good movie to be perfectly honest, it was too sentimental to the point of being sappy, but the story (it was based on a true story) was touching indeed nevertheless... There was one particular line in the movie that struck a nerve in me...
See what no one else sees.

See what everyone chooses not to see...

out of fear, conformity or laziness.

See the whole world anew each day!

HOW TRUE!!!! I can particullarly apply this to a recent "event" that happened... I know a lot of people that claims & thinks that they're so tough, nonchalant, the usual I-don't-give-a-fuck attitude. But then something happened that is obviously screaming OFF & FOUL - an incident that is practically begging for an action-- ANY action! An admonition? Some censure? Castigation? SOMETHING - ANYTHING!!! But these same people with their devil may care attitude chose to turn a blind eye on it... Why? Out of FEAR of course...
It's crap I tell yah.
It's all about "politics" they say... But then again politics is crap.
I never was a people person... And I never did care much about "politics".
I'd rather keep the respect that I have for myself and stick to what I believe in rather than conform to anyone out of this so called "fear"...

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

: : hum hum... : :


* "A lie told often enough, becomes the truth..." - Lenin
Wouldn't you agree?
I believe so...
Any lie, told often enough to the right set & number of people, in time (even instantly) becomes the truth... Hmmmmm....

* Is there such a thing as a beautiful disaster? Because I know there is a disasteer waiting to happen if I let it be... It could be beautiful, or it could be not, depending on who's assesing... Though I know that in whatever angle I try to justify it, it's futile, coz I'll just be fighting a losing battle... Damn is this being caught up? Or perhaps just an encounter waiting for another encounter to happen? In need of a diversion to distract one's attention? or too much concentration on something? Damn... I can't believe this is so... It's just not me.
This isn't an admission... But merely a jumble of confused (and repressed?) emotions... Perhaps... But maybe not...

Monday, September 26, 2005

: : Vacation Time!!! : :

Trip to Palawan-Coron
Daisypath Ticker



After a loooong hiatus from the beach, your pisces princess will finally have her reunion with the sea!!! Haaay SALAMAT!!!!
We just confirmed our reservations today to go to Palawan-Coron for Oct 28-31!!! Yey!!! I can hardly wait! I'm excited! :-D Imagine 4 days & 3 nights of gorgeous beaches, island hopping, beaches, El Nido! more island hopping, beaches, & I get to go to a safari drive & even feed the giraffe! How amazing would that be?! I have this huge (jaw-splitting) smile on my face right now... Bliss...
And to wet our appetite for this trip, we're going to Balai Resort in Batangas this weekend... :-D Gonna start working on that tan, but not too much though. Gotta save some for Palawan... Oooh! And I just got a really cute belly ring to go with the beach outfits. Haha. Nice...

I've been so busy with work that I haven't had the time to go to the beach for the past 5 months! That's a long time for me. hehe I've lost my tan & I am now getting light skinned... My last beach getaway was with my sister last May 11...
I badly need this trip to get away from it all and just relax...
:-D

how dya like the counter? I got the idea from davey & ronnie. hehe

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

: : err... : :


to err is human...

They say it is all part of human nature to err... It's an accepted fact. But sometimes people use it as a security blanket and a quick excuse just to make that mistake that we know we are not supposed to commit in the first place. A choice is always involved before making any actions, so even for the spontaneous acts that we do, there's that millisecond in our brain when we ask ourselves if we're really up for whatever it is we're gonna do... Yet for some people, no matter the hundred - or the million warning signals that goes off in their brain, the prospect of doing the forbidden is just far too tempting to pass up... It's the sweetest sin to do what is forbidden... Haaaay....

Monday, September 19, 2005

: : lazy me : :


* It's been more than a month since my last entry... I'm becoming too lazy really... Or should i say lazier? I'm still stuck reading the same book - "The Historian" for the past couple of months now... Still stuck on the same song as well - kinda... And still feeling some remnants of my vulnerability from last month as well... So now I'm lazy & stuck in a rut? haha
Well not really - really!

* Life is a journey indeed... And everyday you learn something new. Or just when you thought you had things firgured out, something happens and it makes you realize that things are not always what they seem to be. May it be a good thing or a bad thing, you can never really tell. You'll never fully understand it until it happens to you. And unfortunately for most people, they learn it the hard way. But then I guess it usually happens in that order. That's the beauty of Life.

I'm sleepy...

Sunday, August 14, 2005

: : hum hum... : :


It's been a while (yet again) since I last posted an entry... The past couple of months went by like a blur to me... So many things have been happening lately that I can't help but be caught up or lost in the whirlwind of what we call Life - "My life"...

August has just started yet I feel swamped with it all! Leaving me still in a blunder... :-)

Saturday, June 25, 2005

: : half way down the year... : :



i can't believe that we're already halfway down the road for this year! it's almost the end of June!!! before we know it the -ber months will be here and then it's christmas time! :-) but ok, I'm getting ahead of myself...

it's been a while since I last blogged... i guess i've been busy... it's pretty easy to get caught up with everything else that's happening in our lives that we just forget some things just like that... everything is so fast paced nowadays that it's tough to keep up... take for example with your family and friends; you tell yourself that you'll call or see them more often, a week passes by and you scold yourself to pick up the damn phone and call or send an email, and then the next thing you know a month has already passed you by and you still haven't done whatever it is that you promised yourself you'd do!!! procrastination is terrible terrible thing... it's sad though, coz it shouldn't be that way, but it happens... or is it just me? i'm terrible... =)
I know it's a bit late into the year to make a resolution, but this time I really ought to try to eliminate this habit of mine. There's this quote that I like that says "If you take too long in deciding what to do with your life, you'll find you've done it." (- Pam Shaw ), I guess that definitely does not apply with me. Sigh...

I feel a bit down actually... I had my annual medical check-up (yup, one that i actually went to!), and I got my result just this Thursday... I apparently have minor thoracic dextroscoliosis... My spine has a minor curve. I mean I know it's minor and my Mom has comforted me that it's not life threathening (after of course I my panic attack of questions if I'm gonna die...), I still can't help but feel sorry for myself... I'm a self proclaimed hypochondriac, my sister and Mom can attest to that, so I always think that something is wrong with me. But now it's different, I'm given the knowledge that there IS something wrong with me... And I guess it makes me feel vulnerable... I've always thought that there's something medically wrong with me, but even I know that they're really nothing, but I never actually thought that there is really something wrong you know... Sigh....
I was so down I went to the Mall and bought a couple of tops and some lingerie...

And then I saw a picture... and then another picture...
Why????
Grrrrr...!!!!!

Had dinner and a movie with a girlfriend and we had a good chat about life, love, and love? and then some... When do you know when the time is THE time? And when do you know when it is THE one? Possibilities are endless... But when you think about it, everything else really boils down to one argument that you'll never really know until you give it a shot... So perhaps it's time to bite the bullet and just TRY it huh????
Hmmmm...

Monday, May 23, 2005



* I was just browsing through my blog entries and I've noticed that it has been a while since I last posted a sensible entry - "profound" like as my sister would say... =)


* I just spoke with a dear friend of mine from High School. I haven't seen him for so long, I can't remember when was the last time we saw each other... I think it was '97 Trinidad - carnival time. I miss him! Eventhough we haven't seen each other for almost like a century, I'm proud to say that we did not lose touch through the years. =) I remember I had a crush on him back in high school, I never told him that. We used to call each other every night. The good old QC days, when everybody used to burn up the phone lines! I even remember there was a time when some of our friends was asking us if we had something - when we were really just good friends. He was also always there for me whenever I have just broken up with a boyfriend. I remember this one time after my break up, we were at this bar having a night cap and he forgot his wallet and he had to call his mum! Hehe
Good old John.
I have to see him soon. It's been too long.


* Yesterday was the company outing at Enchanted Kingdom. For one day, HSBC employees were transformed into kids and enjoyed the rides in the amusement park, or at least some of them. I had work from 6am to 2pm so we went afterwards. =) I must say I did have fun yesterday - surprisingly. I thought it was kinda boring that we were going there, in fact I didn't even really plan on going. It was more like a last minute thing. But I'm glad I did. I know we were supposed to "interact" with other staff from different dept, but I basically hung out with the same IT peeps! Hehe. We rode the Space Shuttle TWICE! Pia and I screamed like hell of course and had a laugh trip right after. We also did the Kart Track (go-carts) but I was a bit disappointed in that one coz my seat had a hole and my ass was being scraped!!! I wasn't able to zoom away. We also did the Log Jam and got soaked!!! AND for the first and LAST time I rode Anchors Away!!! I swear I did not stop screaming from the beginning 'till the end of the ride!!!! I thought I was going to FAINT!!! And Kit had the nerve to take pictures of my shrieking moment!!! Hehe! It was hella fun though. Exhilirating. Too bad we didn't get to ride Rio Grande. But all in all EK wasn't so bad.
Afterwards - yes, Pia & I still had the energy to go out still! We went to have a couple of drinks at Congo in Alabang. As you can imagine, I was dead tired by the time I reached home.


* I was a bit miffed today. You see I'm doing a re-run of meteor garden *blush* and I couldn't find the CDs!!! Found out that my room mate borrowed them for the day and she took them with her to work, and of course I couldn't say anything anymore coz she had it... Grrr....


* Ok... I really can't think of a reason why I should....

Sunday, May 22, 2005

: : anonymous quote... : :

If anyone needs a vacation, it's you. You've been working hard nonstop, both physically (for your daily bread) and emotionally (to help keep your loved ones on the same page). Now, while you have the chance, it's time to get away. If you have a travel partner to play hooky with, so much the better. If you don't, that shouldn't stop you from going. You can bet that you'll find one there waiting for you when you arrive.

Thursday, May 19, 2005

: : another survey... slow day : :



hug from behind
hug from behind - you like to feel what the other
person is feeling and see things how they see
them. you tend to be serious and emotional.


What Sign of Affection Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

=) really??? ME???

Monday, May 16, 2005

: : "?? Which Alcoholic Drink Am I ??" : :



Vodka
Vodka


?? Which Alcoholic Drink Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla



ok, so i was bored =)

Saturday, May 14, 2005

: : Postmodernism : :

Postmodernism is the belief in complete open interpretation. You see the universe as a collection of information with varying ways of putting it together. There is no absolute truth for you; even the most hardened facts are open to interpretation. Meaning relies on context and even the language you use to describe things should be subject to analysis.

Wednesday, May 11, 2005


So the Baguio trip didn't push thru. But it's ok. I went to the beach instead!!! =)

The whole week I was hyped to go to Baguio for the weekend, but come Friday, plans suddenly changed. Of course I was pissed! But I certainly was not gonna let that glitch ruin my rare weekend off from work. One thing was for sure though, I did not wish to spend the entire weekend roasting from the heat of the city. So I went to the beach instead! With my more than willing sister as my accomplice, we hastily packed our bags, & with no reservations whatsoever, woke up early the next (Saturday) morning and headed for galera. It was an adventure indeed! It was a good time to bond, though of course we still bickered & fought & quarreled with each other along the way (we are sisters you know), I had a great time. =)

Friday night before heading off for the beach, I went to watch a movie with Pia, & her friends Paul & Dal. We watched Triple X, & I gotta tell ya the movie sucks BIG XXX time!!! Waste of money. But oh well, we had a couple of beers afterwards and my weekend was set.

And now I'm back again in the urban jungle, and how I wish I was back again by the beach just lazin around doin nothing and having no worries and listening to some Bob Marley... Damn...

Friday, May 06, 2005

: : 05-05-05 : :


poof! It's the 5th day of the 5th month of the 5th year of the new millenium. Aint that cool?

Moving forward(it's a phrase that honestly just urks me at work), this week flew by so fast!
- May 1 -> Labour Day. Worked 16 hours. Not bad for OT. But was honestly bored out of my mind for doing practically nothing.

- May 2 -> Found 50 bucks on the pavement on my way to parking. Free breakfast it is then! Post Labour Day Blues. Declared by GMA as a special non-working holiday. Went grocery shopping with my sister, a necessity since we have no food at home anymore. Found this yummy body milk spa salt! Doing the graveyard shift. Since it was a holiday, this day wasn't anything different than the previous day...

- May 3 -> Went to the gym to do some pilates+yoga. It felt great to stretch those muscles and to FINALLY do something productive for the week! And hey, this nice guy even helped me out with some positions. It didn't help though coz I still couldn't balance myself using my wrist. Just injured my wrist that's all. And tried the yummy bath salts in the sauna - nice! Amazing what a simple conversation from a certain somebody could do to a certain somebody... *wink*wink* It made me go awhh... Graveyard still. Been feeling a bit off at work, but then what else is new eh.

- May 4 -> Was feeling a bit ambitious this particular morning. After my shift, I went to the gym and did Tai Chi to achieve that ZEN feeling. It was great. I had a
chat with the istructor and he's one of the most peaceful looking guy I've met. After Tai Chi, I went to join the Body Combat Session - a combination of kickboxing/tae bo etc. I told you I was feeling ambitious. I attacked the class with so much gusto I swear I even was amazed with myself. Talk about working a sweat. It felt GOOOD. And yes, now you can imagine what I'm going through... My entire body hurts like hell. Ugh! It hurts!

- May 5 -> I just realized that today was my friend's bday and I forgot to greet her! I'm horrible. Of course I went straight home to my bed after work and slept like a log. After effects of my ambitious workout. Though that workout made me feel like I've really lost weight already. Hehe. WIshful thinking I know.
I'm currently at work so gotta head off...

* * * I'm going to Baguio this weekend to attend a wedding!!! Can't wait to get there coz 1) it's been a while since I last visited Baguio 2)I'm gonna be driving with a friend And we have no clue how to get there. Adventure it is! (not my adventure though, we're using his car though)* * *

Sunday, May 01, 2005

: : boohoo : :


boohoo for me! I'm on a double shift on a perfectly fine Sunday. Oh, and did I mention that tomorrow happens to be a special non-working holiday for the rest of the working populace. Double boohoo for me because I am not part of that general populace!
BOOHOO!
BOOHOO!
(heaves a HUGE SIGH...)
it's ok...
just think money Mari... hehe... double pay on a triple rate. not bad... not bad at all... and i basically have nothing to do anyway.

Sunday, April 24, 2005

: : wala lang... : :


two hours to go & i will be on my 3 day off from work... 3 & 1/2 actually since I'll be done by 2pm.
It's a break that I'm looking forward to...
I'll be going home to Laguna to spend some time with my family... It's my Lolo's birthday as well... I don't know if the plan to go to Caliraya will push thru, but hopefully it does... I'm in dire need for some R&R, and going to the Lake would be a welcome to my senses...
I feel drained...
Tired...
I need to recuperate and rrecharge my energies.
Hopefully the trip home will do just that...

**********************************************************
~ some quotes that made me wonder this week ~

"Life is the longest Death..." - I caught this in a song which title I can't remember.. It's tragick... Deep, & Dark... Sad... But could possibly be true...

"To be banal about it, things were slower in the past... Everyithing now seems to be in a fast forward mode... All at once in one moment... As a result of this, highs are higher, and depressions deeper..." - Hmmm... This basically ultimately summarizes our life now.

Saturday, April 23, 2005

: : OFF day : :


I finally had my OFF day from work!!! FINALLY goddamit!!!=D
So that definitely placed a smile on my face...
Though I am back at work now (HUHUHU! Goddamit!!!)
But I'm ok now. One day OFF from work is still way better than having none at all...

I was able to spend some quality time with my precious ME!
I went to the gym to work all my frustrations and stress from work, spent extra more time in the sauna to sweat out all the toxins (from work yet again). Scheduled a massage. And best of all, I indulged myself on a little shopping! SHOPPING!!! Hehe. It was quite therapeutic. Though I didn't really buy much. Yes, I've finally learned how to control myself from splurging on items that I don't really need. Damn! That sounded so convincing that I even convinced even myself there for a minute! LOL! But seriously, I'm way better now than how I was last year. Seeing the credit bills helped a lot. Anyway, yesterday I bought myself a tub of body cream from BodyShop(I really needed one), 2 tanktops(white & brown)from Topshop(i've always wanted to get these - always!), and a pair of ultra comfy army green flipflops(it's really comfy, in fact, i'm wearing it now).
I met up with a dear friend of mine for dinner - Paul(his bday's comin up!!!), we ended up in Red Crab. The food was great! I ate a whole lot!!! Afterwards we had coffee at Starbucks. Good food, good conversation, great company - It was a good night!
I met up with Pia & Co in Metrowalk at around 11:30 and did a couple of our usual round of beer drinking. As usual, we both wanted to do some dancing, but the bar that we ended up in was only playing House music for the night. Damnit! But it was ok, we still jiggled a bit, just a bit. FUN FUN FUN as always with Pia girl. Hehe
At the end of the night I was totally crushing on this guy!!! *wink*wink* A charmer extraordinaire. I swear he was like a babe magnet in the bar... Chicks were approaching him non-stop! And of course that's what got me kinda hooked like a fish is to a bait. For that night that is.
Damnit!
=)

Oh, and did I mention that I went home at around 3:00 and had to be at work for 6:00AM. So now, I am suffering from lack of sleep and a slight hangover...

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

: : Grrrr moment : :


my day entire day was going so well actually. I guess it was going too well, coz just when I was about to call it a day, something had to come up to change everything. And to think that I was very much looking forward to spend my precious couple of days off from work...

A colleague called in sick. That's fine actually. Over time right? Money right? I'm in the afternoon shift this week, still am right now, and the guy that called in sick is doing the morning shift... I figure since I'm still in the office as we speak, which is 9:46PM to be precise, surely my colleague who did the AM shift today could do the AM shift tomorrow and I can continue on to do the PM shift. It's the most logical thing to do. But I guess for some people, simple consideration is a term that is foreign to their vocabulary. So now, I have to get back to work in less than 8 hours after this shift... To be in time to cover the morning shift at 6AM.

Isn't that fabulous? *snicker*

Saturday, April 16, 2005

: :An Affair to Remember/Love Affair: :


It never fails... I always end up in tears(BAWLING!) after watching this movie... No matter how many times I've seen it, have memorized most of the lines, and knowing exactly what will happen next... The movie still moves me to cry my eyes out...
For me, it has to be one of the most romantic movie of all time...
It's the kind of movie that makes you want to fall in love again...
To feel Love, and be Loved...
It gives you that warm fuzzy feeling inside you that makes you want to hug that certain somebody...
It's a Love story that we all wish would someday happen to us.
To meet that somebody, regardless of the place and time, regardless of anything...
If it's meant to happen, it will happen.

I was having a chat with a friend of mine the other day, and we were talking about our "love life". Or I should say her Love life, for she is definitely in Love and has been so for almost 5 years, and for my part, well, let's just say my "experiences"... =)
5 years ago, I was the one in love and giving her the advices, and now, it was quite amusing to see that the tables have been turned and how she is now advicing me on matters about the heart. That's Life for you.
Our conversation veered off to this movie, and how we love it... And how terribly romantic would it be if I was to meet somebody like that...
But then wait, I have already! Without the Love on my part that is...0
Terrible...
She suggested that perhaps the movie had too much of an effect on me... Except that I've been mostly having "affairs" and forgetting (or avoiding?) the Love in it.
Perhaps...

But I think An Affair to Remember sounds much much better than AffairS to Remember.

=)

Sunday, April 10, 2005

: : an idle mind breeds ALL sorts of thoughts! : :


i was going to say idle minds breeds evil thoughts but then again the more i thought about the the thoughts being thought about in this state(that's a LOT of thoughts there...) it's not all pure evil really... but then again who's to judge that whatever it is that one is thinking about is evil? and then of course my usual form of argument would follow with this line of thought in mind... that which being what's evil to me may not be evil to you.

it's all relative really...
like everything else is as i believe...

in those idle moments wherein one has absolutely nothing else to do, like me for example, right now of course, these are the moments when i amaze even myself of the nonsensical crap that my brain can procure... from everything to nothing and then back again... realizations, reminiscing, aspirations, downfalls & goals, & all other what-nots that leaves me as a confounded fool...

melodramatic...
poetic...
gibberish...
befuddled!!!
craziness?
perhaps.

zzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Thursday, April 07, 2005

: : just some thoughts to ponder... : :

I was just talking to a dear friend of mine... We've known each other since we were seven years old! We've seen each other transform from the fun, & awkward days of grade school into the awkward self (still) that we are now. =) I hardly get to see or chat with him especially since we both have a weird work schedule... But it never fails to amaze me how easy it is to strike up a conversation with him at any given time. And I usually call him up to get that "reality-bites check" talk. And tonight was something like that.
I told him I'm bored - yes, AGAIN!!!
Funny how I could be bored when I just came from my beach break... It's just that everything seems to be becoming so monotonous... So mundane... Ordinary...
And I guess one of my worst fear is to be such...
Funny when you think about it coz mundane and ordinary is synonymous to Normal...
So I guess I fear most to be normal!
The irony of Life...
He asked if I was ok... How ok is ok? Am i ok?
I guess I am.
I mean I am.
I really am.

Work's fine... Really.
Though I wish things could be better, like everybody else. Otherwise, it's fine.

Friends are fine...
In Life we meet a lot of people.
You either like them or you don't...
I have very few poeple that I consider friends.
The rest I consider as acquaintances.
I miss my old friends... I'm too sentimental really.

The Love life is in fact quite colorful even. =)
Though I have realized that everytime I face a situation where I know it could lead to a "relationship", I tend to take ten (a hundred?) steps backward... Admittedly it has become a sort of defence mechanism as a colleague friend of mine has described it...
Take this one incident: There's this guy that I was "seeing" late last year. He's nice. We got along well. He makes me laugh. And best thing of all was he made me feel extra special. Admittedly now, we were practically a couple. Hell we were acting and doing stuff that couples do. But it was never really formalized. And I didn't consider him as a boyfriend... But when he did verbalize the "relationship" thing with us - I freaked out. I hyperventilated! So of course that was that. =) Some say I was harsh, even cold...
Am I?
Right now, there's this one guy that I recently just hooked up with... I barely know anything about him really... Yet there's something about him that has quite intrigued me... He's not as predictable like most men are, and I think that's what's gripping me... I'm just waiting for the defence wall to come up! =) I know it's bound to turn up anytime soon... Or maybe I should just take this plunge? We'll see...

Hay....

Monday, April 04, 2005

: : Summer Time : :


It's Summer!!! Sun is shining on endless sunny days... Cool hot nights... *wink* Warm breeze to soothe our sun-kissed skin... Bob Marley in the background... Perfect... Best time to hit the Beaches! But then again if you're like me, any time is a good time to hit the beach. I'm really usually more of a nocturnal lover, but come summer time I transform into a sun worshipper... I LOVE SUMMER! I can't wait to spend time in the beach to just laze around and do nothing... I swear I must've been a beach bum, a mermaid, or probably a fish in a previous lifetime coz I just can't seem to get enough of the Beach... Not to mention that I was born under the sign of the Fish... I guess you can say that I'm on a natural high right now.

Just recently spent my entire holy week in the beaches of Puerto Galera with my constant partner in crime these days - Pia! We spent 4 days and 3 night in Galera... It was awesome as usual... I had a BLAST! And a great tan line(I'm still glowingly well tanned)! Hehe In fact I'm still feeling the after effects and still high with the experience...

First thing that we did was to get our henna tattoo. I had mine on my lower back, it looked great with my bikinis. =) We spent the entire afternoon just lazing around on the beach. Just lyin around under the sun, chit chatting, swam... Totally relaxing... Later on in the night, we had dinner by the beach and started off the night in this Reggae Bar called Coco Aroma. I actually discovered this bar in my last trip here just Last January. It's a nice place where you can listen and jam with great (& some that are not too great) local artists. Or to put it simply, it's the perfect setting to get really drunk. Haha =) Think about it : Reggae + Alcohol + Beach + Moon = God Awful Hangover in the Morning. After the first set, we went walking around and checked out the SMB Concert - it was wildness indeed! The boys had a ball with the ladies in action on stage.


(to be continued...)

Saturday, March 05, 2005

: : Single Affairs I


I can't decide whether it's the effect of being in the Love month of February, but lately it seems that the topic of all conversation seems to be about being in a relationship. Now don't get me wrong, it's actually quite a hilariously fun topic, what with the unending tales of lovely mushiness and oodles and oodles of sweetness galore and nonsensical sweet nothings. It's especially great to talk about such relationships when you are IN a relationship, but for the other half of the population that’s NOT IN a relationship, now THAT is a another story.

Now being part of that other half who happens to be unattached gives me a first hand experience on how it is to endure that undying questions that follow the usual question that is : "Do you have a boyfriend?". And then of course you answer that you don’t have one, then comes the REACTIONS.

* Some would tactfully ask "Oh. Why?". Now I've been single for almost five years now (Ohmagod… Hyperventilate for a moment there. (Harhar) technically speaking that is since I haven't really made it anything oficial, and to date, I still can't figure out how do people expect one to answer that question. But eventually you come out with something like, "I guess I just haven’t met him as yet", or something along those lines…

* Some good ones would ask when was the last time you had a relationship, and of course with this question it would eventually lead to a history-of-your-love-life 101 to the one wanting to know. And sometimes this would be quite a sensitive issue, and sometimes, just plain something that you don’t want to talk about, or something that’s just not worth talking about, or you probably just don’t want to talk to that person altogether.

* But some would ask if you've ever had a boyfriend, dropping the hint that perhaps you're just the plain loser destined to not have a boyfriend

* And of course there are the matchmakers that would forever match you up with somebody that is to their description a very eligible bachelor

* And there are those that, after asking just simply stay quiet… Leaving you wondering just what they may be thinking about after divulging such info… Or if they think anything at all…

* And of course there's your family. Now that in itself is one WHOLE story. =D

SIGH
I haven't really given much thought about my status… Well at least not as much as to how much I am now. =) And it all doesn’t really sit in that well especially right now when I'm about to turn a year older… It seems to me like somebody has signaled the checkered flag and the race is on!!! Singletons go for the finish line to a relationship! Harhar

To be honest, sometimes I analyze myself to check and see if perhaps the fault is with me. Why don't I have a boyfriend? And it's not about the issue of not having choices, and I don't mean to blow my own whistle, but I do have (and had) choices to pick from. I'm picky, yes indeed I am. Maybe too picky perhaps? Perhaps. But isn't it a good thing that at least I know what I want? That is, at least I know what it is don't want, that much I know.
Are my standards too high? Perhaps. Too much expectations? Perhaps.
But isn't it better to have a sense of some standard, rather than having none?
I'm not the type to just settle for anything less.
And better to have AN expectation than expect nothing at all? That would just be too easy and bland.

People ask me what I'm really looking for in a guy…
How does a girl answer that?
But honestly speaking, I really don't know.
I can't define it.
It's one of those things that when you do see it, you'll just KNOW.
I'm looking for the spark as a good friend of mine would like to call it.
It's all about the spark.
Hmmm…

: : Change? Change! Change. : :


“There is nothing permanent except change.” - Heraclitus
Some change for the better…
Some do for the worst…
And some just don’t change for anything at all…
But they still inevitably change…
In some way, in their own way.
Nothing is permanent.
Nothing.
Not a single damn thing.

One must learn to accept that there are some things you can change, and some that you cannot.
If you can change it, think twice, thrice about it. For every change in anything would cause a ripple effect in other things. Obviously… Ineffably… Whether it be good or bad…
If you cannot change it, admit it. It would be a lot easier if you do.
They say you must also have the wisdom to distinguish which ones in our lives needs to be changed and what need not be changed…
There will always be decisions to decide on.
Choices to be made…
And risks to be taken.

Sunday, February 27, 2005

: : a series of unfortunate events could turn out to be fortunate still : :


A day more for February and then would be March. March! Already!
I feel like February just flew past me.
I've been so busy... Work has been hectic. I haven't had the chance to go to the province for a break. Of course there was Valentines which I barely felt since I was at work. Was supposed to go to the beach for a weekend thing sometime there but that didn't push thruough either because something came up at work.
Everything's been work, work, work lately...
I haven't had the chance to go to the gym as often as I wanted to. I tried to do the south beach diet for a week, I couldn't do it. It was hard! Imagine no bread, no rice, no pasta, no fruits, no potato - NO CARB! I felt like I was gonna pass out any minute there. I didn't have the energy to do anything when I was in it.
So I decided to stop the diet, and stick with the NO DIET at all thing.
Even dieting is tiring. It really is.
So now of course I feel like a whale.
Oh whatever.

It's a Sunday and yet again (but of course!) I'm at work! But it's ok. It's a slow day, and I'm just taking it easy. At least I was able to accomplish the morning CRP, as well as the other jobs for printing. Not too bad for an over time.
I guess I'm really not fussing since I know that come Monday till Wednesday, I'll be finally having my OFF days from work! Thank God!!!
Tomorrow morning I'll be off to Laguna to see my Lolo & Lola. I'm even looking forward to see my Dad! I can't wait to breathe in some fresh air into my system.

It's been a good month actually. Not really that bad.
Of course you can't have everything perfectly the way you want it to be.
But it's been ok.
I was actually able to catch up with the movies. And finally went on that date... But... =) Such is life.
Though I got a ticket this month for apparently my mean green machine is a smoke belcher! =) I got that ironed out ok.
I've had a series of unfortunate events (as that of the movie), but you know what, I'm feeling great, and quite happy about myself since I was able to surpass it all and still manage to smile about it. It's something that I just realized. A new outlook perhaps? To just smile.
I'm feeling good.
Life's good.
Like what I told a friend of mine the other day, I'm actually in a "loving" mood....
Love...
Maybe it's because it's February.
Or maybe it's because of the full moon.
Whatever it is, it's all good.

Sunday, January 30, 2005

: : restless me : :


i'm still feeling a bit off the weather...
and it's not even that time of the month for me...
my BLAH period as I have decided to call it...
and i can't seem to pin point what exactly is causing it...

maybe I miss my Mum...
perhaps...
she left to go back to Fiji just recently...

maybe I'm bored with work...
I am.
In fact, out of whim, I headed down south with a friend of mine and we spent the weekend by the beach. I've always been very fond of the beach. It never fails to calm and soothe my nerves. And though the trip there was fantastic - even adventurous. It didn't completely vanish the mood I'm in as I thought it would.
I'm still in the same mood as I was before I left...
work is... well how should I describe it...
same... nothing new... just same...
and maybe that's why i'm getting bored...
maybe...

or maybe it's about a guy...
they say it's always about a guy...
for some...
i realized that guys will tell a girl anything just to get what they want...
that's what i'm told...
and it's what i learned through experience...
so i've learned to be on guard...
so how does one know when to let the guard down?
how does one know when they're actually telling the truth for a change?
words... just words...



Thursday, January 20, 2005

: : ? : :



as you can see, i'm dangerously in a mood right now

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

: : Me, me, ME: :

Most people perceive me as the snobbish type.
I am.
A lot of them would say I'm mataray, a girl with an attitude problem.
I probably I am.
In fact I know I am like that... At most times...
I definitely am.

I am Bitchy.
Moody.
And very temperemental.
Don't even ask.
My mood swings are as unpredictable as the weather in Guyana.

I'm the type of person who will not talk to you unless you speak with me first.
Most of the time I walk with my chin help up high, looking head on, but not really looking at anything in particular - not even you. That's why it's more than likely that I would just ignore you if ever I do pass by you in the hallway... Nothing personal really. That's just how I am.

I'm stubborm.
I always insist that I'm right, even when I know deep down that I'm wrong.
I can twist things around to make things right - MY way.

I have this nasty habit of procrastinating things - but then again, who doesn't?

I'm also very Vain...
A paranoid hypochondriac whose ultimate fear in Life is dying.
A perfectionist at heart when I want to, and an ultimate lazy slob when the mood arises.

Why am I saying all these things?
Because I want to.

Sunday, January 16, 2005

: : Resolution 2005 : :

2005
----
Although we're already half-way through January, I'm still basking in the remnants of welcoming the new year - post-wise style I know. And of course, with the welcoming of the new year also comes the making of one's resolution - yet again. Now I know most resolutions made are hardly if not never kept, but usually broken faster than you can even make one.
I hardly make any resolutions really. And if ever I do, I never do keep them
But this year, I'd REALLY like to turn a new leaf and actually make a resolution or two (or more) and try (better than nothing at all) to actually keep them - seriously!
So here it goes...

2004 was a financially disappointing one for me... Basically because I spent too much!!! So this year, I'll try to be less compulsive when shopping. Better yet, I'll try to cut down shopping altogether! I have this terrible habit of having a panick attack when shopping for anything - it's crazy! My credit card bill is a screaming witness to those moments... Anyway... SO this year is all about being frugal, frugal, FRUGAL...

Moving on... Now I stopped smoking for almost a year - 8 months to be exact... But you know what the old saying goes, some habits die hard, so to cut it short, I'm back on it. I don't want to say that I'll quit smoking, coz I honestly know I can't. But I can say that I will cut back on it... It's a terribly bad habit I know... To allieviate my already guilty-of-nicotine soul for this, I'll invest more time in the gym.

---> to be continued...

: : " Life's Simple Advice " : :

Don't date because you are desperate.
Don't marry because you are miserable.
Don't have kids because you think your genes are superior.
Don't philander because you think you are irresistible.

Don't associate with people you can't trust.
Don't cheat. Don't lie. Don't pretend.
Don't dictate because you are smarter.
Don't demand because you are stronger.

Don't sleep around because you think you are old enough and know
better.

Don't hurt your kids because loving them is harder.
Don't sell yourself, your family, or your ideals.
Don't stagnate.

Don't regress.
Don't live in the past. Time can't bring anything or anyone back.
Don't put your life on hold for possibly Mr/Mrs Right.
Don't throw your life away on absolutely Mr Wrong because your
biological clock is ticking.

Learn a new skill.
Find a new friend.
Start a new career.
Sometimes, there is no race to be won. Only a price to be paid for
some of life's more hasty decisions.
To terminate your loneliness, reach out to the homeless.
To feed your nurturing instincts, care for the needy.
To fulfill your parenting fantasies, get a puppy. (or a cat! )
Don't bring another life into this world for all the wrong reasons.

To make yourself happy, pursue your passions and be the best of what
you can be.
Simplify your life. Take away the clutter.
Get rid of destructive elements: abusive friends, nasty habits, and
dangerous liaisons.
Don't abandon your responsibilities but don't overdose on duty.

Don't live life recklessly without thought and feeling for your
family.
Be true to yourself.
Don't commit when you are not ready.
Don't keep others waiting needlessly.

Go on that trip. Don't postpone it.
Say those words. Don't let the moment pass.
Do what you have to, even at society's scorn.

Write poetry.
Love Deeply.
Walk barefoot.
Dance with wild abandon.
Cry at the movies.

Take care of yourself.
Don't wait for someone to take care of you.
You light up your life.
You drive yourself to your destination.
No one completes you - except YOU.

It is true that life does not get easier with age. It only gets more
challenging.
Don't be afraid. Don't lose your capacity to love.
Pursue your passions.

Live your dreams.
Don't lose faith in your God.
Don't grow old. Just grow YOU!



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

create your own life then go out and live it without regrets...

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

: : 2005!!! : :

It's a New Year yet again Baby!
Amazing...
Overwhelming to realize that 2004 is over...
Time doesn't stop for anyone of course - whether you're having a great life or otherwise...
Another start of the year to reflect on one's life...
To assess one's goals and aspirations...
And see LIFE... YOUR Life... and what has become of you...
Wonder if you "like" what you see in you... and around you...

The year didn't exactly start off in a good way... What with the Tsunami disaster in our neighbouring country... Doesn't it make you think(again) that Life is truly too short? And that one just never knows... Just that.. You just never know what destiny has in store for you as the cliche goes...
Hundreds of thousands of lives were wiped out literally in just moments...
Status, Race, Age, and one's gender does not matter...
When your time comes, nothing else can help you...
Coz that will be IT...
You just never know...

- * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - *

I've always been a hypochondriac...
And my ultimate fear in life is death...
If I was given a choice, I'd rather not die really...
I would love to be an immortal, for I simply don't want to die... Thus explains my fascination with Anne Rice's novels about vampires...
I'm paranoid when I get sick...
"My head hurts - I'm dying"
"My tummy hurts - I'm dying"
"I cut myself(teensy weensy papercut) - I'm gonna die"
That's Me.

My family has a history of diabetes, high blood pressure, and even cancer to name a few. I've stopped eating red meat, coz I read an article that eating red meat increases your risk of cancer... Been (red)meat-less for 6 months now...
I've joined a gym to have a healthier lifestyle. Or at least I try...

I'm a worry wuss...

But for 2005, I've decided that worrying too much won't get you anywhere.
I mean, everybody dies eventually. Though I still don't want to die...
But I don't have to worry about that...
At least not now...
Life's too short.
And life should be lived to the fullest.
Whavetever happens, everyday should be a celebration of Life...
They say death should not be seen as an ending, but a beginning of another voyage in Life...
Everything happens for a reason...
For some, it may seem impossible to even have a reason for one's death, but beyond the grief and even anger, there ultimately is...

I think that's just too much death talk!!! =)

As I've said, for 2005...
Life is way too short...
Live life to the fullest!!!