Saturday, February 25, 2006

: : happy week : :

Just an hour to go and I'll be FINALLY done with my gruelling 16-hour shift! Yep, you read it right the first time, 16 hours man... Damn... Oh well, that's OT for me so it's not that bad... Actually it still is, just trying to convince myself it's not... Ok didn't work!

But miraclas of all miracles though, I'm not that tired as I expected... I think I may have enough energy to even check out the dive shops & start shopping for my gear... Hehe, but then again I always have enough energy to go shopping! Especially now that I just received my bonus from work... Hmm... Just thinking about that cash just sitting there in my account is too tempting... Gotta learn to control. Something that I really have to learn!!!

I haven't had my usual two-cups of coffee nor any cigs and yet I'm still positively perky. Go figure! Thinking happy thoughts lang... In fact, I'm definitely looking forward to this week, aside from the monthend batch, I hope it'll be a happy week:

Tuesday Night is Embassy's anniversary party, & a girlfriend of mine invited me to go! She doesn't work the next day & my shift doesn't start till 2pm so I 'm GAME!! Party! hehe. The party has a school theme, so I'm all excited to dress up for that. Luv costume parties... I haven't decided yet on what I'm gonna wear, though... But I think I have an idea... So you know that means Monday would be shopping panic day.
Oops - monday = shopping! Also for diving equipment... Control!
Thursday will be my last pool session for my scuba lessons - gotta cram it all up for my check out dive this weekend in Anilao!! Exciting!!! I'm going to the beach! Although there's really not much of a beach in Anilao, but it's ok, there's the sea so for me beach pa rin yun! hehe Looking forward to breathe in that salty fresh air, swim, and DIVE!!! naks! To breathe like Darth Vader under water with the fishies. Nice!
Friday night - considering that I didn't go out this week, I have a feeling Friday would be a catchin up night. So just gonna chill & hang out.
Oh and I'm hoping that I can realy stick this whole week out... Better that I don't see him really. I'd rather not. And I hope he doesn't make his usual "whatsup & how-you-doin", so that I don't have to worry about... Whatever. Gotta be strong... Yeah, yeah...

Just think HAPPY THOUGHTS!

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

: : just ranting : :

I just had my third chocolate mint for the night (doing the graveyard shift). *yum* sugar overload... but what the heck, with a week like this, I need to have my uppers... something to keep me up & about... & to keep my mind from certain things & certain personalities as well... but i guess the third choc mint was a bit of a give away that I'm not exactly doing so well... damnit!

Yet another message from he-who-must-not-be-named. What the hell?!?! Is he or isn't he? What is that about? Or should I be asking myself that question?! I have no idea why i get so irritated when I do hear from him... But I do know I go through the same reaction when I don't... Ang labo talaga... Coz that's what we are - malabo. ENOUGH! He just doesn't get it... I don't either!

Had a little chat with a colleague the other night. The topic was about falling or being in Love. Yes dear friends, Love. He mentioned that he wouldn't mind to be in Love right now. "Wow!" I exclaimed. "Really?!" He of course was flabbergasted that I wouldn't want to... He suggested that maybe I just haven't pondered over it that much? Definitely! It's not that I don't want to be, if it happens it happens right? But come to think of it now,it really has been a while since I really even thought about it... Honestly! I haven't met anyone that has made me even consider the thought of it... Sad. There was a time when I thought falling in Love was the easiest thing in the world. Whatever happened with that? I grew up, that's what happened. But I shouldn't say that, coz the guy that I was having this conversation with is in his early thirties... What does that say about me? A pessimist? Perhaps. More of a realist.... Jaded? Yes, why not. Been hurt, disappointed and all that, and I've learned from them. But it doesn't mean I don't believe in IT anymore. I do. I still do... It'll happen in time... At the right moment, & hopefully with the right guy.

Cheers!

Monday, February 20, 2006

: : random thoughts : :

* Attended a wedding of a colleague today. It was lovely... The church was beautiful, and the reception was garden-style & was set amidst old Spanish ruins. There was even a fountain in the middle! It was very romantic... Perfect lighting & all... Evoked a lot of oohs & aahs among us girls as you can imagine. Lovely...

* Just what is it about Sunday nights that makes all radio stations to play lovey-dovey-ultra-mushy love songs?!?!?! It doesn't really help right now...

* So I was able to stick it out for almost two weeks. I was firm to myself and did not break my stand. It's another round of power play. And then I receive a message out of the blue(just as before). I freak out. But regained my composure & replied just so to be polite. Hey I'm cool. I will not get affected by this again. And then what happened after a week? I crumbled... Inexplicably. I gave in... Extremely foolish of me! Pfft! I was doing so well and then BAM! I'm back to square one. Blame it on February shall we please? Never again though. Deleted his number. And no I did not memorize his number. He can go back to Timbuktu for all I care. Now that felt good!

* On a positively jovial note: I started my scuba lessons this week!!! Hooray!!! Considering the fact that I don't know how to swim, I think I did pretty good! :-) I'm a self-confessed beach addict. Eversince I can remember, I've always loved the sea. It's in my nature - Water is my sign, I'm a Piscean. My name in Greek is "water related" as well. Mind boggling how I still don't know how to swim... Anyway, I've always wanted to learn scuba. A friend of mine gave me an intro dive the other week in Anilao and it was AMAZING! Surreal experience! Although I must admit that I kinda panicked the first time I dove into the water... Almost forgot that I have the regulator & that I can breathe... Breathe like Darth Vader. But when I saw the scene before me - WOW! I've entered a new realm... I was captivated.
A week after that, decided to finally take that scuba classes. I can't wait for my check out dive! Just have to schedule when... Soon though!

Sunday, February 19, 2006

: : words & their meaning (?!?) : :

isn't it funny how just one word can mean so much... possibly even too much... perhaps.
take for example the word dreaming... and it so happens that I am in this mood right now... sort of.
dictionary.com can define it in 6 ways...
(1)A series of images, ideas, emotions, and sensations occurring involuntarily in the mind during certain stages of sleep.
--> I say dreaming is not restricted to when you are sleeping. It can happen anytime - regardless of whether or not you're sleeping, or maybe walking, talking, eating, breathing or whatever it is that you're doing... Though I wish dreaming is solely restricted only when you're sleeping. That way everything would've been easier... I would only have to deal with the *dreaming* for just 8 hours or so, if that was the case... Or maybe it's just me... I dream too much. Yep, gotta be.
(2) a daydream; a reverie.
--> hmm... i'm imminently stuck to *dreaming*... must shake it off and break free from this catatonic state...
(3) A state of abstraction; a trance.
--> It is definitely a hassle. Just a distraction. Diddn't I just say I'm going catatonic? Walking zombie... bzzzzzzz
(4) A wild fancy or hope.
--> So true... Waste of time. When you hope, you expect. And the the more you hope, thus of course the higher the expectations. Exposing yourself. Making yourself susceptible to an attack of injury - physical or emotional. And of course once that happens, if you're lucky - hurray for you, but if not, you know you're screwed.
(5) A condition or achievement that is longed for.
--> Hmmm... Now if only I know what that is...
(6) And FINALLY - One that is exceptionally gratifying, excellent, or beautiful...
--> Ooooh... Ok. And so I chose to *dream*... To continue to *dream*... Because in the end, I know there will always be something beautiful out of the ugliness of it all...

Thus, Mari is, and will always be *dreaming*...
Pfft!

Sunday, February 12, 2006

: : this month of February : :

It's a weird month.
Whether it's a leap year or not, it's still a weird month.
Some say people born under this month are either sheer geniuses or just plain bonkers really. Ok maybe not. :)

Perhaps I'm just ranting coz the dreaded V-day is just around the corner yet again.
Of course it's a different scenario when you're in "L", with somebody, or just basically having something with somebody... Or anything to that effect.
But for those that are single, pft! The holiday season was tough enough, and then comes February. Just when you're getting over the fact that you didn't have a date to kiss at the stroke of midnight on New Year's eve, here comes another holiday that throws your lack of romance in your face yet again. HAHA! :) It's getting hilarious isn't it?
It's because of February.

Or maybe because our tempers were in a a good high from the holiday season, you know, what with the rush & thrill of the emotions brought on by the holidays that perhaps now, everybody's suffering from the anti-climax of it all. On February. Had to be.
Blame it on February.
Yes, why don't we. :-D

Saturday, February 11, 2006

: : of sinners & saints : :

A friend of mine sent me this interesting quote from Desperate Housewives:

"It's not that easy to distinguish the good guys from the bad guys... Sinners can surprise you and the same is true for saints... Why do we try to define people as simply good or simply evil? Because no one wants to admint that compassion & cruelty can live side by side in one heart, and that anyone is capable of anything..."

So true...