: : hmph mood : :

It's HMPH mood, not HUMP mood silly...
I need to see the beach...
I am going to rant & rage now...

I'm too grouchy lately. Admittedly I have my normal grouchiness, but this week, even I noticed that it's just way over my normal dosage... *sigh* Too many upsetting things around me... Shit happens yeah? And then they say it always comes in three?! Well I think I've had my fair share for this week... Good thing it's Friday na! When it rains in Mari Land, it pours and soaks ME to the bone. F*%#%!
I am in pain for a dear friend... I hate the fact that she's going thru such an ordeal & there's not a single damn thing that I can do for her... I can't even think of anything coherent enough to say to her! And I usually make sense!(well most of the time that is...) I'm just at a blah right now... I also hate the fact that there are guys that are really so hateful and get away with their kind of crap! Unbelievable! But it does happen. And they continue to thrive. They have a whole kingdom unto themselves! Hell I happen to have the misfortune to even know & dealt with some of them. There's definitely one who tops the chart right now. Such is life eh?
Then comes the issue of so called friendship. *BIG SIGH* You think you know, but you just never do. You take the risk, and Faith slaps you in the face with Reality. Nice. Over-reacting? Perhaps I am. Maybe I am. But what's done is done. Makes me wonder what else... *BIGGER SIGH* Shit.
And then of course there's the bigger never ending issues called Family. *BIG BIGGER SIGH*
Or we can blame it all on the hormones of yours truly. Whatever.

But in spite of all of the above, there are still other aspects in my life that I am thankful for... (See I'm not that much of a pessimist, just a realist...)
For the gifts & pasalubongs that I received everyday this whole week! *smile* It's the thought that really counts. It really made me feel special in spite of it all... For the good chit chats with my sis, phone calls & conversations with dear friends... Made me feel that I am connected after all... And that somebody has my back no matter what...
Simple things... It may seem trivial... But I make them my own. And make them part of Me.
Ok, enough na. *smile* *SIGH*
Just breathe...

* Things to look forward to this weekend:
- I'm having dinner with the happy guys & gals later on tonight! Anytime is a good time to catch up.
- I'm going home to Laguna this weekend! Fresh air!
- It's my Lolo's 80th birthday bash! :-) There goes my diet... Good thing they'll be serving mostly pork dishes... Gotta stay away from the dessert table...
- I'm gonna take my Aunt shoe shopping in Liliw this weekend! And will make sure to stop by that fabulously quaint lil resto at the corner... Yum!
- Road trip to Taytay Falls, or anywhere with nice, old Spanish churches...
:-)
Just a few more days & I'm going to the BEACH!!! North side naman - Zambales. I need my beach fix - badly!
My travel partner tells me we're going here:

Ganda noh?
I can't wait!!!
Poof!
This is why I blog... It's my some sort of therapy. :-) Coz sometimes, paper (or in this case my pc) is more patient than man... (from the Dairy of Anne Frank)

: : found d song!!! : :

I finally know d name of the song that's been stuck in my head since Kaskade. hehe

Tada!!! -->

Naked & Sacred

wala lang...
I feel calm whenever I hear this song...

: : (en français) confiance : :

Il fait confiance une fois que cassé est difficile réparer... Triste mais lui est vrai... Je suis dérangé à ce qui s'est produit. Incroyable ! ! ! Mais ce qui est fait est fait. J'espère juste que les dommages ne sont pas celui étendu... Et qu'aucune autre information inutile n'a été divulguée à d'autres...

Ever heard/read anyone rant in French?
You just did.

: : * yawn * : :

i can't sleep... i'm stuck in the midst of sleeping, & wakefullness...
I'm tired - my body's aching, & my eyes are almost closing but my mind refuse to rest... restless, haunted me...
*yawn*
I have to start working out in the gym again. I really am getting chubby chubs... gotta get my act together if I wanna stay fit... Stupid of me to stop now when I have access to two gyms... lazy me...
*yawn*
Have to eat less rice... Avoid it if I can... But then again I don't really eat rice...
*yawn*
He's not even all that come to think of it... Let's not be bitchy.
*YAWN*
I'm sleepy...
*YAWN**YAWN**YAWN*
bonne nuit

: :hmm hmm again : :

* Can't seem to get this song out of my mind since Aris played it... But I don't really know the title of it. I'm terrrible with titles, artist names, album, and don't even count on me to sing it... But i know it's a bit of house & techno with the lyrics

"I wanna hold you naked... when I'm with you... since i met you... I wanna be good to you... something something..."

Anyway, it's a nice song... Damn what's the title?!?!? Hmmm hmmm...

* Was just doing a Sex and the City re-run, and here are some quotes that I just love:

Maybe some women aren't meant to be tamed. Maybe they're supposed to run wild until they find someone -- just as wild -- to run with.

There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous

I will not be the first one to speak. And if he never calls me again, I'll always think of him fondly. As an asshole.

When it comes to relationships, maybe we're all in glass houses, and shouldn't throw stones. Because you can never really know. Some people are settling down, some are settling and some people refuse to settle for anything less. Than butterflies...

When you're young, your whole life is about the pursuit of fun, then you grow up and learn to be cautious; you could break a bone, or a heart. You look before you leap and sometimes you don't leap at all because there's not always someone there to catch you. And in life, there is no safety net. When did it stop being fun and start being scary?

Maybe the past is like an anchor holding us back. Maybe, you have to let go of who you are to become who you will be.

And lastly, here's a quote for my Dr. Alco-Sol: hehe

Carrie: A fuck buddy is a guy you probably dated once or twice and it didn't really go anywhere, but the sex is so great you sort of... keep him on call.
Samantha: Ooo, he's like dial-a-dick!
Samantha: Carrie, you can't date your fuck buddy.
Carrie: Say it a little louder, I don't think the old lady in the last row heard you.
Samantha: You're going to take the only person in your life that's there purely for sex, no strings attached, and turn him into a human being? Why?

I'm evil, yes I know. :-) You still love me though!

: : just blogging : :

* Got this from a friend, fill this up for me will yah? Indulge my self-absorbed curiousity. -> Johari Window

* I'm bored... And I'm at work , yes my dear, even on a legal national holiday... Got nothing to do at all so I'm just here getting triple pay while I do nothing but surf... *hush*

* Thank God she's NOT!!! I can now breathe easily...

* The first time she saw him, she didn't think anything of him. The second time, still no reaction - yes he was cute, but that was it, so were the other guys. Then comes the challenge. Only then did she look twice & gave it a thought. But then after a time, the feeling of being challenged eventually wore off, then there was none. None at all. Just plain apathy. Another Mr. Right Now. So much for happy ending.

* Went to Kaskade last Wednesday! I like the open air setting - with the moon & stars & the gentle see breeze as your ambience (it wasn't stinky as I expected). Love the fireworks! But I must say, it wasn't all that as I expected, though it was pretty good to hear It's you It's Me, the crowd of course went crazy when he played it. The after-party was way WAY better... *wink*wink*

* I need a vacation. Nobody believes me when I tell them that I don't have any beach plans for this summer yet. Coz they know how much of a beach addict I am! Maybe I'll do Boracay this May - yes, maybe I will!!! Hey, that's enough time to work on the extra pounds... Damnit I gained 5 pounds!!! I'm a fat hippo now...

* Got my official PADI diver's ID yesterday!!! *yey!!!* now, I gotta plan my next dive trip...

: : secrets : :

everybody has secrets...
skeleton(s) in the closet... Whatever you may want to call it.
everybody has one...
Some secrets are better off left unsaid.
Some are unspeakable that we'll carry them to our graves... And then some that you wish you didn't know.
But there are some secrets that cannot be hidden for long... No matter how hard you try to keep it as one, it will still eventually come out. Too bad.
Just like reality, just when you think everything's going smoothly, where everything's fine & dandy, harsh reality has it's own way of creeping up on you and bite you in the ass when you least expect it. BOOM!
That's it.

I'm upset, happy, & sad at the current situation of a very dear friend of mine.
I'm upset coz this is happening. I can say "I told you so", and "You should've known better" & all that guilty talk of what could've/should've been. But what good will that do? None at all...
I'm happy coz it's a beautiful thing...
But I'm sad that it turned out this way...
Should've-would've-could've.
Just like what Dr Bailey said in Grey's Anatomy:

The stupidity of the human race, be thankful for that.

Coz sometimes, the most beautiful & brilliant things are results of this so called stupidty... We might not like the results, but it happens... Accept & Live with it.
It gets better.

: : Play my song... : :

Went out last night with 2 girlfriends of mine, our PimpMaster followed shortly after... :-) First stop was Rockwell where I bought a fab pair of white pants from Topshop! *yey!* Finally found the perfect white pants that flatters my behind. Wasn't planning on buying - it's Aris' fault! Hehe. We bought the same type of pants! Chilled at Mati's for some drinks, gorged on their yummy dip & pita bread, & of course a bit of catching up... So much chika!!! Whatd dya expect when you put three ladies in one table & beers aplenty - of course it's gossip time! Haha. Then when we had enough of talking, headed over to Embassy for some dancing! Great music - of course! *wink*wink* We're having a dry run for our night with Kaskade this Wednesday! It was a cool night of hangin out - nice fun.

I feel up & about although I hardly had any sleep last night. Not cranky. No hang over. Just fine. It's amazing what a single *kilig* phone call can do. *HUGE GRIN* I'm smiling just thinking about it. :-D Next time I won't flake. Can I just say that he looked real cute last night... Hehe

~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~

Sis & I are going home to the province later. I need to see my Lola, I miss her, and & feel bad that I haven't been able to see her as much as I want to... I guess I've been avoiding the prospect of going "home". They don't have to say it, but eversince what happened, I can feel their eyes on us, and I know they mean well, but they shouldn't feel sorry for what happened. It's all for the best really. There are just some things that are really not meant to be. It sucks, but that's Life. And we get along just fine... No drama.

~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~

I'm excited for Wednesday-Kaskade! Hehe. Yah know for sure it's gonna be a crazy night!!! Just the way we like it! :-D

: : To be or no to be... in a rut that is : :

Ever been stuck in a rut before? It's so easy to fall into one... To let yourself wallow & sink deeper & deeper into it... And damn is it hard to come OUT of it...

Case 1 of the endless: I haven't gone to the gym for almost 3 weeks! Even longer than that I think... Yes, definitely longer than 3 weeks... Anyway, I've been too lazy lately -obviously! I'd rather go home and just sleep. Or watch Grey's Anatomy (I am too addicted with this show!). Or just EAT... Or sleep... You get the picture. So thus the Fat Cow = Me right now... Anyway, I was FINALLY able to D*R*A*G myself to the gym last Tuesday, and I mean literally forcefully drag myself to the place... Poof! Just the effort of going to the place is exhausting for me... *BIG SIGH* I'm that lazy right now... But hey, lazy fat cow me was able to successfully drag herself to the gym three times this week!! Hooray!!! *APPLAUSE* And now you can imagine the state of my muscles... *ugh!* No Pain, No Gain they say... But damn I'm just sore all over!!! My butt feels like it's in four places (that's more than the usual!!!), and my abdominal muscles (wishful thinking that I do have some... ) truly does hurt... Just have to push thru the pain... Don't I always?

Case 2: I have a dear friend who's in a "sticky situation" right now... Boy Problems. The ephemeral case of the "kami na ba?" syndrome. We've all been there... And maybe even wished that we haven't... Moving on, she knows what to do... But just can't make herself to do what it is that she know she has to do...

Case 3: I still fall in one my "dreaded" moods... Just the other day I was totally sucked in it. Hated it...


... Whatever the case maybe, I say its all a matter of choice really... Just how long will you allow yourself to BE in that rut is all up to you. Nobody else can pull you out of it except you and YOU alone... Your friends can give you that initial push, but the big heave has to come from you...

~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~

On a different note, I heard Sean Paul is coming to Manila next month!!!!! How true is that???? If he is coming, daaamn, yah know I'm gonna be there baby! Loved him since I was in Georgetown!!! Like 8 years ago!!! *whew* calm down Mari... Anybody interested? ;-)

: : *whoa!* : :

I am still reeling from my weekend... *grin*
Still feeling some "after-effects" of the weekend hang over... Still hung over actually. And it's a Monday after the month-end batch. Nice one... Just smile & wave...

Talk about going impromptu party mode! I thought it was going to be a nice, quiet, relaxing weekend by the beach, or somewhere where the birds are chirping & the sun is shining, commune with nature, or maybe even do wall climbing, & supposed to be go kart racing... But your sea princess did a different kind of the "communing" kind. *hehe* Nothing perverted now! Just decided to hung out with dear friends, have fun, FUN, FUN & dance, DANCE, DANCE, & DANCE... PARTY!!!

I must say it was quite an unbeleivable night. Few rounds at Capone's with a dear, dear, DEAR friend. Laugh trip... food trip... Happy thoughts... Then, decided to hop on over to PICC for DJ Tiesto & to meet Bri & co. My Goodness! The place was packed! But it was well worth it. I'm not much of a lover for house music but man, this guy IS really GOOD! He is defintely the best!!! He'll definitely take you to a higher place... Love it!!! *BIG GRIN*

In Search of Sunrise

The Party didn't stop here of course... We decided to hop on over next to Club Industry at around 06:30... No need for the details... But I danced, and danced, danced, and danced.... I didn't get home 'till noon...
What a night...
What a morning...
What a Life!!!!
Gotta love it!!!
*SMILE!

*wink*wink*

still singing to the tunes of I'll Fly With You (Gigi d'agostino)...
I still believe in your eyes
I just don't care what
You have done in your life
Baby I'll always be here by your side
Don't leave me waiting too long
Please come by
I, I, I, I still believe in your eyes;
There is no choice,
I belong to your life
Because I will live
To love you someday;
You'll be my baby
And we'll fly away
And I'll fly with you,
I'll fly with you,
I'll fly with you....

The Song in my head...


Thanks to Dottie, I am hooked & in love with this song... Wonder why... *wink*
Mmmwah!