: : stumbling blindly into an unkown familiar state.. : :

the title is as apt as can be...
i am stumbling...
tripping?
something...
into something familiar that has become strange...
i don't know how this happened...
i don't even know when it did...
all i know is that it did happen...
and then comes now...
i always thought i've always been in control...
i know i can always find a way to ignore this...
to forget...
somehow...
and return to the normalcy of the life that i'm used to...
but then something inside me is telling me give it a chance...
what have i got to lose?
but then... that's it... i've lost so much already...
am i ready for this?
butterflies in my stomach...
i feel like a teenager...
unsure...
insecure...
what to do...
what to do...
i don't know...