: : blah blah November : :

* you enter into something where you thought you were in control...
then suddenly you lose it and everything else falls apart...
is my life following a pattern? -as a close friend just told me so...
fear of commitment and excessive defensiveness and fighting for control?
is that what this is all about?

* it still amazes me how a mother's instinct really REALLY works... I've been feeling a bit sick these past few days... Been having recurring fever, sore throat, and some cough... My Mum called yesterday morning, I didn't get the chance to talk to her since I was still sleeping off the alcohol from the night before that, and she told my sister flat out that I shouldn't smoke so much! Now my sister didn't have any idea if I still smoked or not, last time she checked I have stopped smoking. When my sister told me about it, and when I did confirm that I have been starting back to smoke, she just burst out laughin... Now I had an idea that the smoking was what was making me sick, I was on the verge of admitting that to myself, but I guess mum beat me to the punch... How can she know when she's thousands of miles away, when my own sister whom I live with can't even tell!?! Mothers can really pull some weird cranks on us...

* I never realized that I knew so many people who's celebrating their birthday on November... I was updating my bday calendar and was surprised to see it booked! There's my dog Moochie of course - she turned three this year! There's my uncle, 2 cousins of mine, Momina, Eds, Ems, Ritz, Joven, Bingles, Kristine, Renu, and so many more it's tiring to type them all out! Anyway, of course, with birthday comes the parties, and this month was abundant of that... Just last Friday night, I attended a joint party and saw some people from the Bank that I haven't seen in the longest while. At first I was kinda dreading to go and kinda not wanting to go coz I thought i might feel out of place - I haven't hung out with them for quite a while. But I'm glad I went, it was refreshing to see such people and I did enjoy their company - really. Even hooked up with Panic Boy whom I have not spoken to ever since he bailed out on our diving lessons a couple months ago... But all's well and cool there now, at least I earned another beer buddy! Hehe That was Friday...
Saturday night, I met up with some colleagues of mine over at Temple Bar and had another "meeting" of the "new generation". As usual, drinks were abundant on the table and we had this awful tasting concoction of whatever kind of alcohol! It tasted horrible and really burns down your throat, but really kicks in... Afterwards, somebody suggested going to Tagaytay and amazingly everbody was game for it eventhough it was already 3am! But in the end, only three of us ended up going, we forgot about our two companions on the way that's why... It was as expected freezing in Tagaytay! And considering that we didn't have a high tolerance with the cold, we basically just had a drink (coffee for Rus, and a Cali for me, JM was smashed and sleeping it off in the car) over at Petron station, then headed back down to Manila! The sun was already and up and shining by the time I reached home...

* November's over, and the Christmas season is next... As the year comes to a close, I try to think and analyze the things I've done for this year... What have I done? =) What have I done?!? I've done a lot, I must say... Both good(?) things and bad - very, very bad!!! I did much... But not much... Not much things that are worthy enough, or meaningful enough, or anything that made sense... I look back at this year, and I see things that I've done that I don't like, or can't believe I've done... But like I always say, in life there should be no regrets... I did it with my eyes open and knew fully well what I was getting into... Though I approached it haphazardly and quite recklessly! Nobody else to blame for my actions but me... But then I don't want to blame myself for such things coz it made me happy! As devilishly selfish as it may seem, yes, I'm happy I did so... =)(evil grin)

somebody please slap some sense to me... i think i need a good spanking... =(