Wednesday, September 29, 2004

: : of chances and choices : :


When we meet the right person to love when we're at the right place, at the right time. That's chance. When you meet someone you're attracted to, that's not a choice. That's chance. Being caught up in a moment (and there's a lot of couples who get together bec. of this) is not a choice, that's also chance. The difference is, what happens afterward? When will you take that infatuation, that crush, that mind-blowing attraction to the next level? That's when all sanity goes back, you sit down and then contemplate whether you want to make this into a concrete relationship or just a fling. If you decide to love the person, even with his faults, that's not chance. That's choice. When you choose to be with a person no matter what, that's choice. Even if you know there are many people out there who are more attractive, smarter, and richer than your mate, and yet, you decide to love your mate just the same, that's choice. Infatuation, crushes, attraction comes to us by chance. But true love that last is truly a choice. A choice that we make. Regarding soulmates, there's a beautiful movie quote that I believe is so true about this--"Fate brings you together, but it's still up to you to make it happen." I do believe that soulmates do exist. That there is truly someone made for you. But it's still up to you to make the choice if you're going to do something about it or not. We may meet our soulmates by chance, but loving and staying with our soulmate is still a choice we have to make. =) " You can only see the true colors of a human if you taste its heart.

... the thin thread that turns chance into choice is commitment.... YIKES!!!!

Thursday, September 23, 2004

: : hmmmmmm... : :


hmmmmmm.....
was there a cataclysmic change that i didn't know about?
hmmmmmm.....
the winds of change are definitely passing my way...
whether it be good or bad... only Time will tell...
First there was one...
Then two...
Three?
Four!
Line stops there(PLEASE!)... Take a number & wait for your turn...
hmmmmmm.....
live the moment?
or should i let it pass?
grab the opportunity?
or just let it be?
what's a girl to do...
hmmmmmm.....
hmmmmmm indeed.....




there's this song by Keahiwai that i like...


Falling

I wanna tell you baby
That you're the one that Im thinking of
But your heart is still with her
And I think she's the one that you love
I only want you happy
Even if it's not with me
Maybe one day
You'll open up your eyes and you'll see

That I think I'm falling
Maybe I'm falling for you
Yeah I think I'm falling
Baby I'm falling for you

From the first time
You laid your lips on mine
It feels like the smile on my face
Will last till the end of time
But Im not so sure
You're the one that I should pursue
My mind tells me no
But my heart only says that it's you

Only time will tell
The mystery has yet to unfold
Who's gonna feel love's warmth
And the other left in the cold

Yet still I'm falling
Maybe I'm falling for you
Yeah I think I'm falling
Baby I'm falling for you
That I think I'm falling
Maybe I'm falling for you
Yeah I think Im falling
Baby I'm falling for you


definitely not ME.....
hmmmmmm.....

Tuesday, September 21, 2004

: : BITCH : :

When I stand up for myself and my beliefs, they call
me a BITCH. When I stand up for those I love, they
call me a BITCH. When I speak my mind, think my own
thoughts or do things my own way, they call me a
BITCH.

Being a BITCH means I won't compromise what's in my
heart. It means I live my life MY way.
It means I won't allow anyone to step on me.
When I refuse to tolerate injustice and speak against
it, I am defined as a BITCH.

The same thing happens when I take time for myself
instead of being everyone's maid, or when I act a
little selfish. It means I have the courage and
strength to allow myself to be who I truly am and
won't become anyone else's idea of what they think I
"should" be.

I am outspoken, opinionated and determined.
I want what I want and there is nothing wrong with
that!

So try to stomp on me, try to douse my inner flame,
try to squash every ounce of beauty I hold within me.
You won't succeed. And if that makes me a BITCH, so be
it. I embrace the title and am proud to bear it.

Sunday, September 19, 2004

: : random thoughts : :


* My Mum sent me this quote just recently... choices made early in life are irreversible... everyone must make his choices, wise or foolish, good or bad, and live with them; there is no going back... ponder this in deciding on everything...",
What struck me most was the timeliness when this message was sent to me just recently... I guess Moms really do have an intuition when things happen to our lives...
Just like the time when my sister was held at gun point just recently... We decided it's best not to let Mum know about the incident, coz you know how Mums can be about that... And it wouldn't do her any good to worry herself so much since she's oceans away... The next day of the incident, Mum called my sister out of the blue and was asking if we were ok and so forth - really worried... Apparently 2 of her puppies just died... hmmm...
Superstitions? Or just the plain old maternal instinct? How does one define that...
hmmm...

* funny how people make their choices... eventhough the choices presented are so obvious - one being the easy way, and the other as the obviously more difficult path... some people STILL choose to do things the hard way... hmmm... why do we do that?

* "...never judge a book by its cover..." but "... looks can be deceiving..." so be careful... sometimes "... what you see is what you get..." but "... be careful what you ask for, coz you might just get it..."

* talk about random thoughts... or is it really that random... or perhaps just evading the one thing that is really in once mind... hmmm....

Saturday, September 18, 2004

: : The Quarter-Life Crisis : :


The Quarter-Life Crisis
by unknown

It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are a lot of things about yourself that you didn't know and may or may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.

You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you do not realize is that they are realizing that too and are not really cold or catty or mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.

You look at your job. It is not even close to what you thought you would be doing or maybe you are looking for one and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and are scared.

You miss the comforts of college, of groups, of socializing with the same people on a constant basis. But then you realize that maybe they weren't so great after all.

You are beginning to understand yourself and what you want and do not want. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging a bit more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and add things to your list of what is acceptable and what is not. You are insecure and then secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you or you lay in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough to get to know better. You love someone but maybe love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you are not a bad person.

One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap and getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision.

You worry about loans and money and the future and making a life for yourself and while wining the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!

What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.

: : now what? : :


There was once a lady, who thought she knew it all...

She thought she can handle anything at all...

In control in everything that she does...

But then something happened...

And she wondered whether she really was what she thought she was...

In control in everything that she does...

Or was she the one being controlled by it all...

Hmmm....
nothingness...